New Diabetic - VERY upset & feeling lost

hi everyone -

i feel like i should introduce myself, as i am new to this forum and the diabetes life as well. My name is Jessica/Jess - i’m 36 years old & i’m a mom to an almost 2 year old and wife to my husband of 9 years.

Since giving birth to my daughter, i have never in my life been so HOT & sweaty. 24 hours a day, for the last 2 years (almost). This winter (we live in NJ), we had the most snow in history and i wore a coat maybe 4 times. The falling snow felt like heaven on my hot skin.

I went to the doctor and told him about this situation & he did a full blood workup on me. Due to the sugar number and liver number, he sent me again for more blood.

It came back with a firm diabetes diagnosis - my A1C was 8.7.

I had GD when i was pregnant (diagnosed at 10) with my daughter and was able to control it with diet. I had to check my sugar 4 times a day and i will be honest - it was a living nightmare. It hurt and i just didn’t do well. In the end - i did it, because every single time i said, you’re doing this for HER. You don’t want to hurt HER (meaning my daughter). In the end of my pregnancy - when i knew full well she was perfect, i stopped pricking my finger, because i just mentally couldn’t do it anymore.

I had the above conversation with my doctor & my best friend & my husband were with me at the appointment. My friend Katie told the doctor point blank - it was like i was having an anxiety attack every time i had to do it. It truly was horrible. My doctor told me that my number is low enough that he doesn’t need me to test multiple times a day, etc. He said if it prevents anxiety attacks, then 1 time a day or 3 times per week is okay, so long as i’m in check as far as those numbers.

i am truly sorry this is so long, but this is the first time i’m feeling like i need real ‘help’. i’m going to meet with counsellors and nutritionists next week, but i know that real life people are an amazing help…which is why i’m pouring my heart out here…

other than the testing my sugar, my huge concern is diet. i am obese, i know this. i’m 230 pounds and i basically live on carbs. i have a VERY limited diet, as i’m a very picky eater. I can’t handle spices (ulcers) and i also have IBS-D - so my eating during the day tends to be spastic. if i’m having a meeting at 2:00 - i can’t eat lunch until after the meeting, so i don’t have to excuse myself from the meeting to use the bathroom.

i’m just at a loss…i’m worried about so much - but also worried about setting a good example for my daughter to follow. yes, she’s only 2, but her chances of having this are extreme, it’s on my husbands’ side of the family & HEAVILY in my family…

what do i do now? i know - meet with the counsellors, but i’m just so scared and worried…

i’m SO sorry this is so long…

Hi Jess and welcome to your new (huge!) family here at TuDiabetes. You’ve taken the first step by coming here and saying how overwhelmed you are. Please know that you are not alone in feeling that way. Though everyone deals with a Diabetes diagnosis differently it is never easy! We are a varied bunch here, Type 1 and 2, teens to seniors, and have been diagnosed anywhere from recently to decades ago. There are also some family members here. But I doubt there is one of us who don’t remember those early days of hearing the news, wondering what it meant and how our life would change. I won’t lie to you and tell you your life won’t change, it will. But not all those changes are for the worst. For example, learning to eat healthier and get regular exercise. And bottom line is we DO adjust. Diabetes becomes a part of our lives but there is no way it has to change who we are at the deepest level. You will still be a wife, mom and all the other roles you might play in your life. I like that your husband and best friend went to the doctor with you; it helps so much to have loved ones who support you. But when you want answers based on similar experience, or just to vent to people who’ve “been there”, this is a good place to come. Also, if there are any realtime support groups in your area, that can be very helpful at some point.

You are doing everything right. The counselors, doctors and nutritionists will all help you learn to manage your Diabetes. But I also encourage you to educate yourself. Blood Sugar 101, by Jennie Ruhl which you can access online or buy from Amazon is a great place to get the overview on this condition. Ask questions of your medical professions. If you feel they are not being helpful or not listening to you, then don’t hesitate to look for someone else who you feel better about working with. It should be a partnership; ideally you will work together, not just have someone giving you “wisdom from above” and rejecting things you might have learned that disagree.

Being scared is normal, but you are doing all the right things and you are not alone. Let us know how it goes next week. Testing gets easier. Some people say it hurts less if you do it on the sides of your fingers rather than the pads. Also, set the depth the lowest number you can to get blood, to keep it from hurting more. Hang in there!

Just what Zoe said! I gave birth to and raised 2 girls being a Type 1 diabetic (got it when I was 10) YOU CAN DO THIS! Just sit your mind in that way and I know the past was bad but you can get all the support you need here plus the thing I kept reminding myself when my kids were small was I wanted to be there for them. Now it’s my g-kids. I want to see them graduate. Life can be hard but always remember YOUR HARDER!. Those earliy days are hard for me to remember since I was so young when I took Type 1 but when my oldest took Type 1 at 11 it all was a new start for us.

Sorry you had to join the club no one wants to join. I know this is bewildering but you’re not the first to go through it. I would second Zoe’s recommendation of the BloodSugar101 website . Another thing I found helpful was the book “Type 2 Diabetes the First Year” by Gretchen Brecker. These 2 sources will help you understand what’s going on and what you need to do about it.

Finally spend some serious time here at TuD looking at old posts, and also check out the groups and read the posts there. When you’re done come back and ask your questions you’ll find some really knowledgeable people who are successfully living with their condition and would love to help.

Dear Jessica
Zoe gave a very good advice/perspective… So, the only thing I would like to say is that you are going through a life change, and we know its scaring, we have been there as Zoe’s says: who doesn’t remember this day?? So many doubts… But implementing new habits on your own pace… taking your time, learning and taking care of yourself, you will be surprised in a little while how much actually your life quality improved after diabetes diagnosis.
I have a T2 friend who was diagnosed about 5 years ago and he says that if wasn’t diabetes he would be in the worst healthy conditions nowadays, after the diagnosis he lost 40 pounds, started exercising moderately, eating better (but still enjoying and eating well), and the best was that he just made few changes but got such great results… You are already on your way to make the good changes to your life, there are alot of people out there to help and I am so glad you are already looking for them. This community is also a great place for gathering information, but also emotional healing.
Take good care, Fabiana

Welcome to the site. You have mad the first step in coming here. We understand what you are going through.

One suggestion - there are many different lancet devices out there that are not bad on the fingers. You need to find the right one for you - and it won’t make the self blood glucose testing a nightmare. The ones that I have used are the Accu-check Multi-clix and the One Touch Delica. Both are gentle on the fingers.

It is OK to be scared and worried. Know that were are all here for you.


You’re seriously in the right place. TuDiabetes and the members here are incredibly supportive and understanding. Ask a million questions and you’ll get ten million responses.

Here’s my simple advice: avoiding a doctor, not testing, or being too scared to see a counselor in the long term won’t help you at all. YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT…I’m not really telling you anything new. Audition doctors (or nurse practitioners) and find someone that makes you feel really good. You can find someone that will help you change and get all of this under control.

You aren’t going to get anywhere until you make a serious commitment to yourself to change.

My mantra was “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” and I lost many pounds. Find a mantra and just focus on it girl.


It was brilliant to bring your friend along to back you up on the anxiety business. Sorry you are in the club but I’m glad that you found this place to get answers to many questions you may have!

i need to tell all of you that i am sitting here reading your replies in tears. to know that you all took the time it did to reply to me, someone you don’t even know is very overwhelming.

i will take every ounce of advice, learning you all have to share & really hope to make some serious changes in my life. many of you said it - i need to be here for my daughter. she is my everything. i tell her often - you are the star and shining light in my life and your daddy is the earth we rotate around. i have to be here for them…i have to take better care of myself.

it’s going to take a lot…i know that…but reading these replies has really, mentally helped me more than i can say. thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart…

Jess, I so feel for you. I remember when I was first diagnosed. I’m so glad you found us and posted. I promise you it gets easier and you’ll find your way. I finally owned the diagnosis and took it as a message to live a healthy lifestyle. In that way, I tried to turn it into a positive. It hasn’t been an easy road and there are some days that are really tough. But the community here has been so supportive. As for your daughter, there is someone who joined about the same time I did and did who voiced similar concerns about how this would affect his daughters. His name is Jim – I’ll point out this discussion to him so he can chime in on his success in that regard.

one thing I thought of adding is however cute and adorable your daughter is now, sooner or later, she will get into whatever the “Twilight” and Justin Bieber of her generation are! Eeek!!

PS, you can’t take “every ounce of our advice” because we don’t always agree, which is one reason I think message boards are better than a “manual” or sometimes a doctor?

Welcome to the family. I am fairly new to life with diabetes myself, but let me tell you, you can do this. I am a t-1 and live in constant fear of my girls not only developing diabetes but the example I will set for them, my mother who is also a t-1 didn’t set the best for me. The best you can do for your daughter is set a good example and educate and prepare her. I also was a carbaholic but for the most part have curbed this with the knowledge that I have to to live. What carbs I do take in are mostly at work while I am physically active. Just remember you can do this it’s hard and no one wants to live with this but we don’t have much of a choice each day we do is a day longer and a day better. You may find some of my blogs helpful and would be amazed what young children actually understand, my 4 yr old is very big about making sure I have had my shot every time she catches me eating a sweet.