I agree that “leaping” to pharmaceuticals is not a good idea. I consider myself a “medication minimalist”: I don’t prescribe any medications unless they are clearly indicated (i.e. non-medication strategies are ineffective), I don’t prescribe dosages that are higher than the minimal effective dose (“more” is often not “better”), and I actively avoid polypharmacy (prescribing many medications simultaneously when many of them are not necessary and/or contraindicated).
Thank you so much! It will get better you are so right. Congrats on getting your PhD. Diabetes will get better too, the first couple of years are all about learning. Best of luck with all you do.
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Jenn, thanks for your advice and sharing your experience with me. I’m really glad you were able to find help in counseling. I hope grad school gets better for you. Good luck with it all. 
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Thank you for your input here! I appreciate the discussion on the matter. My concern with ‘leaping’ to pharmaceuticals is that it may be putting a band aid over what the true problem is. I think i’ll try to do it the hard way and do some soul searching to figure this out first. I absolutely understand that these types of drugs help so many people in need, I’d just like to explore other types of long term solutions first.
What type of physician are you? It’s always nice to meet others with T1D. Thanks again for your response!
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I think everyone is different, but putting a bandaid on something and also working on it the “hard way” can be complimentary. And honestly, it is sometimes impossible to do the hard work of changing your life when your mental state is one of unmitigated depression.
It’s true, though, that often other things can help more than medicine can – especially because emerging evidence suggests there are some people who may be responders and non-responders for different drugs, and we currently don’t have a very good idea of who is in each category.
Personally, when I start to feel low and hopeless, or even if I’m just screaming at my kids or crying a lot or feeling constantly on edge, I often take stock of how much time in my day I spend doing things I find nourishing and enjoyable. Usually it’s zero. It makes a big difference to force myself to do things like making my bed, taking showers, and reading books. I’ve also developed a little internal dialogue for when sleep deprivation makes me feel like a nihilist: Basically I tell myself I cannot trust any negative thoughts I’ve had if I got less than 5 hours sleep the night before. It doesn’t work immediately, but over the course of about 2 weeks doing these things dramatically improves my mood. That’s about as long as it takes for an SSRI or any other type of treatment modality to kick in.
One thing I will note: My personal opinion is that grad school is one of the most psychologically unhealthy environments/ My unhappiest time in life was in grad school, and I’ve yet to meet a single person who really, truly loved grad school. At best, they saw it as a hoop to jump through till they could do what they wanted. At worst, it was a kind of black hole that warped everything in their life until they managed to escape. So don’t feel bad if it’s hard – it’s hard on everyone. So at least some of your feeling may be spurred by your situation. That’s bad news as it’s unlikely to change dramatically in the short-term, but it’s good news in that this stage of life is not forever, and one day you may look back on it as a distant memory and think “jeez, that sucks, SOO glad I’m not there anymore.”
Good luck with everything!
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Tia, thank you so much. Your insight is so well put and thought out. I completely agree that both of the options might be complimentary if needed. I also really like your internal dialog. I can see that working well for me too. Grad school is hard and hearing that from people who have been through it is so releasing. Thanks again for your perspective. Best of luck.
Great advice all around, but unlike @Tia_G, I loved grad school. It was difficult at times, but an excellent experience, and one that served me very well afterward.
I have a terrific GP who recognized my worsening depression early on and prescribed a low dose citalopram program in tandem with counseling. I’m not sure I would have been able to even start counseling without the med. now that I’m living a low carb life I’m of the belief the drug provides that chemical serotonin support I need to maintain my mental health. I hope folks don’t shy from treatment with Meds while facing those depression demons - they can be life savers.
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Wow, what did you study? I think it depends on what you were studying and why. I was in grad school (twice, ugh!), and one of those degrees I only use tangentially, in that it allows me to better understand my son’s diabetes. While in school I rarely met people who weren’t internally somewhat miserable. It could be selection bias, though – I probably sought out people who, like me, weren’t in love with the whole setup.
Sounds like you’re an amazing woman heading in the right direction. Sounds like you have a VERY full plate and this may be overwhelming you. Try to BREATH, take a step back, relax when you can and live life…meaning, don’t study or deal with ‘real world issues’ all the time. Make yourself step outside your; otherwise hectic life, to enjoy it. Lean on great communities like this one to “fill the void” that family / friends and those who are non-diabetic, and who don’t live this life 24/7 just can’t understand. It’s why this community has been a true blessing for me. Before this community, I, like you, was a very successful father, husband who was always happy and laughing, jovial, always joking and cutting up and loved to be the life of the party. Happily married for going on 20 years and my family is AMAZING (wife/children). But…when my 2 year old was diagnosed with T1, my world crashed. I couldn’t stop crying…still today, even after all these months (he was diagnosed in February of 2016), I still cry a lot when I’m alone because I don’t want to burden my wife/kids with it. But being able to come here, read stories, listen to SUCCESSFUL stories of people who have lived with T1/T2 for decades and are doing just fine, has made me breath a sigh of relief.
Yes, living with diabetes is NOT fun…nothing about it is enjoyable and it’s like that “friend” that hangs out with your friends, who isn’t really a friend to the group, but has to be there anyway, well, just because.
What I’m finally realizing is that I can’t let diabetes run MY life, or my SON’S life…we have to take the driving seat and continue living life to the fullest DESPITE the disease.
You have SO much good going for you and I know you’ll come through this because you seem like the kind of person who is strong, focused and determined. I have faith that you’ll pull through this and be stronger afterward.
Just remember…this community is ALWAYS here…like that person you can always count on. That one person, that, even if you don’t talk that often because your lives are hectic, you know that if you ever need them, you can call them and they’ll drop whatever they’re doing to assist you. That is this community and the people that make it up.
You are beautiful. You are strong. You are capable. You will overcome.
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It’s OK to cry 
I cried like a little kid when I was diagnosed in May this year. Uncontrollably! And I cried even more when it hit me that I might lose functionality right when I had a kid coming along (wife was 6 months pregnant), and that maybe he would be predisposed as well…
Now I still cry uncontrollably when I think of Dylan getting sick, and every time he spits up or doesn’t want to eat or wants to eat more my first thought is “Arrrrghhhh!!! The boy’s diabetic!”
Being sick is stressful, being a parent is stressful… you parents of children with T1 have my utmost respect and sympathies, because I know it is far, far harder than anything I’ve ever been through. Stay strong, you’re being an amazing Dad and husband.
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We call parents of diabetic kids “Type 3”. And yes, it has to be the hardest job of them all.
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This was such an inspiring and heartfelt post. Thank you so much for your honest response. I agree that this community really is a blessing and always there. I also agree with you mindset not to let diabetes control your life. I think that is a huge key to living a healthy life with type 1. I wish you the best of luck and can’t thank you enough for your kind words.
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I don’t know when you stop crying. I sure haven’t. It’s not every day or even every week anymore, but on a night like last night, when we had to stick our son 10 times as he ping-ponged between 338 and LOW on Dex, and he had to eat 4 different low snacks because his sensor was totally screwed up, it really hits you how much they have to endure and how much is still to come for them.
I am trying to be strong and minimize my emotional reactions to the disease for our son’s sake. I want him to feel like T1D is just one additional thing in life to deal with, a thing that CAN be dealt with, and that he needs to focus exactly as much attention on it to maintain good short-term and long-term health, but not an iota more than that. I suspect that burnout happens not because the tasks themselves are super complicated, but because of the emotional baggage attached to them. So I really am working to create more of a “good hygiene” approach to it so it just becomes ingrained as a routine. We wait before we eat till we’re in range, we always take our insulin, we test our BG in the morning, we use measuring cups to serve portions, we don’t gorge on junk food, just like we wash our hands after using the bathroom, or brush our teeth every night, or use tissues instead of fingers, or don’t eat off the floor. I really hope it helps him as he gets older. But I’m also really really hoping things get easier before he hits the teenage years so he doesn’t have to draw upon heroic levels of discipline and emotional equanimity to maintain his good health.
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Since testing on humans in the first stages of a trial are illegal in the US, mice are the best we have since they most resemble us (strangely). ANY testing is good to hear IMHO because it means; at least, work is being done. Every time they find out a method that doesn’t work, it isn’t a failure…it’s only one more test that successfully determined a new method that will NOT work in humans.
I don’t think it’s that mice necessarily most resemble us as it is that they’re considered the most simple, readily available, inexpensive (and expendable) mammal to study with… it would get expensive and impractical to test every crazy idea dreamed up in the world on a primate.
but I’m not a scientist
As a minimum requirement, mice used in experiments must be of the same purebred species. Another reason rodents are used as models in medical testing is that their genetic, biological and behavior characteristics closely resemble those of humans, and many symptoms of human conditions can be replicated in mice and rats.
The crucial word in that bolded paragraph is “many”. “Many” is not “all”, and it is a distinction that matters. Carbohydrate metabolism, for instance, works differently in mice than in humans, which is why no rodential “cure” has yet proven transferable. Just because mice respond to cancer like we do doesn’t mean that conclusions can be extrapolated from that to other, different physiological processes.
Researchers do the best they can with the tools available and within the limitations under which they must work. While it’s important to celebrate their insights, it’s every bit as important not to gloss over the limitations.
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This isn’t intended as a semantics thing…just stating why mice are generally used in scientific experiments. I understand “Many” does not mean “all”. lol.
If anyone has any better options for what scientists should experiment on, which has closer carb metabolism to humans, please let the scientific community know. Should the scientists just give up since the rodent metabolisms are so different from ours? Maybe stop testing, experimenting and finding solutions all together? (This is a rhetorical question, btw.)
Until some other test subject that more closely resembled our metabolism is discovered (and approved), mice and other rodents are what we have…given this fact, we will just have to hope that people much smarter than me can “bridge the gap” between the mice’s metabolism, and humans, and hold onto that hope.
When I posted this article, I thought there would be a lot of excitement! I guess you all are more used to hearing wonderful stories of possibilities, then being let down later. Myself, I’m excited about this…and all other experiments currently under way.
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Diabetes brings out the negativity in people;)