Laura I understand I have a 20 yr old dx at 15 who is very depressed. I have a 24 year old dx at 22 who is resilient. I went thru the questions about hospitalization too. My preference was a camp like setting. Wellspring for kids 18-24 is good but for those who are overweight. For your son sounds like he is traumatized, depressed and a little OCD. I would accompany him to a doctor to get an ssri and then find a good emdr therapist in your area. Check out Annie Monaco. To learn more about emdr check out emdria.org. It is a very effective trauma therapy. In the summer if there is an inner athlete at all he might want to attend diabetes training camp - it’s an amazing experience for t1. Drive your son to Annie if necessary and tell her her Mpls buddy says hi.
As a physician (MD) and long time Type 1, I'd recommend that you have to get him in for a psychiatric evaluation, hopefully with a psych. with experience with Type 1's. This sounds to me like serious depression! This may require hospitalization, for a number of reasons, and your description sounds like he would qualify.
Additionally, you may have to work to separate yourself from his problems...