I have type 1. I've been married for almost 7 years, I have two beautiful little girls aged 3 and 5. We live 1000 miles away from my family for my husband's job.
I want to leave him. He's demanding, controlling of our children and likes to complain about all my faults (they usually aren't diabetic faults, though sometimes they are.) Basically we have some difficult communication patterns that have developed that are very hard to break and I'll try to get out of the cycle, but I get sucked back in. It's hard because you get used to that and it normalizes it.
My main problems with diabetes stem from forgotten or doubled boluses (and I just ordered the new MiniMed pump with the forgotten bolus alarm) and from hormone level changes due to stress in my home. I am depressed. I wasn't depressed before I was married and I was doing a lot better with my bgl numbers then.
I am terrified to leave my H while we live out of my families state of residence though. I am terrified a court will grant my custodial responsibility for my children and I would live in a city with no family to help me. I have a CGM and a cool new pump, but is that enough to take care of me until H gets transferred somewhere else and I can move home?
Not sure that the issue is really the diabetes; but understand you want to be as healty as possible to be deemed capable of taking care of your children. I have been married 10 years and have 3 children and our marriage isn't what is was the first couple of years; I have changed a lot because I think that blood sugar fluctuation causes me to be moody which causes a general depression and anxiety but am trying to overcome that so that our family life can be better. I worry a lot about my wife sticking by me becaus I do feel she has given her 110% but I have trouble doing that with low energy and depression and anxiety. Are these things that are issues for you as well?
I agree it doesn't look like diabetes is the issue. Have you suggested counseling to him? If he won't go what about you and the children? It would be helpful if he would participate but not always necessary. Try it maybe it would give you some good ways of coping with your illness and everything else that is going on. Stress can be a real rough customer and you don't want it sneaking up on you and making you sick. Good luck.
Depressed, young children, controlling husband---I've been there. I felt very stuck. While couple's counseling might be good, you need some help yourself. Find a counselor, or ask for minister/rabbi/etc. Most important is caring for yourself & getting your priorities clear.
The pump and CGM will help you control your numbers but if you are not caring for yourself emotionally and psychologically, including, stress management, you are going to have a difficult time with your BG. As others have posted, taking care of you should to be first and foremost because taking care of you will give you the needed resilience and help you take care of your children. Counseling may provide you with some guidance and ways to decrease your depression and anxiety.
Stress, fear and anxiety over uncertainties, depression and lack of rest...factors that may create blood sugar swings and susceptibility to numerous health concerns. You have so much on your plate right now but first and foremost to deal with these, you need your strength. Take care of yourself. Seek some counseling for both your relationship and emotional/psychological well being. Maybe you can start from there.
