Hey New T1 Brotha,
I’ve been living with type 1 for almost 41 years and spent many hours logging distance. Would love to know who you are as I spent 5 years on the distance running circuit working for Reebok as massage therapist, and my husband was a running promo guy for both Nike and Reebok. Perhaps we have crossed paths?
The good news is, this feeling of speechlessness will pass and just because you have already reached out here and the doubt and concern you have about telling your family and friends will become the springboard for patient advocacy!
Diabetes is not what defines you, it is something you have to manage like a training partner!
Sounds like you are in shock. This is pretty normal reaction honestly. So don’t feel bad. It something that none of expect to happen to us and it is hard to know what to think or say - it is really just emotions and we often hide them. Everyone will handle it differently but it is better that you are facing it - even if you can’t tell anyone. That is normal.
It is almost a year for me soon (Type 2) but very few people know. I tell people when I think I feel ready. That said, my family knows. It is definately important to tell people close to you esp. your fiancee. I think we are afraid to tell people because we are afraid of being rejected by them. I know that is how I feel. The people who really care about you - will want to know and will stick by you. Those that treat you differently or stay away from you because of it - well, you don’t want anything to do with people like that anyhow. This is a good way to find out who your true friends are (in a way).
I guess some diabetics think of this as their private business (I know I do) and others don’t care who knows. The important thing to remember is that you do things at your pace. Don’t ignore what you need to do for yourself but don’t worry about others so much.
This place is the perfect place to come to talk about it. I don’t know what I would have done without this place. We all know how you feel.
Sorry this happened to you but it sounds like you are a strong person. I know that going through this diagnosis made me stronger - it really changed me. Strangely enough, I feel less afraid of things (after I adjusted of course) than I was before. It really makes you grow an even thicker skin. This can be a good thing - the strong survive as I am sure you know.
Even if you don’t feel it now - you will go throw all kinds of emotions eventually. I think I cried for a week. I was angry at myself. You might handle it differently but you will go through it in some way- some people on here called it “the mourning period”. Just let it happen. It is the only way to except what is happening to you.
Some people feel better once they tell people and find someone to talk to about it. I don’t think you need to say “I’m a T1 Diabetic.” to anyone except for yourself. You don’t need to say it now. You will some day.
You are surrounded by others who know how you feel although I never had the feelings you do. I was a child so I was at a different vantage point. But being connected by the same disease gives us all a sense of being related. You made a good choice in joining Tu…welcome!!
Questions with no answers? We have all been there, so feel free to ask those very questions.
If your doc hasn’t already suggested it and if your clinic doesn’t offer them, look for a New to T1 Intro Class for Families. Take your fiancée and any close family. When I was diagnosed in 1993 my dad and I took 2 classes, the first was about Diabetes & the second about nutrition. I luckily found balance in my doses in the first year and haven’t had many ups or downs in dosage, but there have been many changes in how they count carbs and which foods adversely affect BS levels more than others. So I try to make an appointment every few years with the nutritionist at the diabetes care center and just chat about food & what I have noticed that some do to me. I found out the hard way that wine, coolers & beer all drive my BS up. Then the nutritionist confirmed that you’ll see an elevated BS level for 2-3 hours after consuming. On the flip side I found that hard A mixed with diet soda will actually bring me down a bit (also later confirmed by a visit to my nutritionist).
What else? PIZZA!! Beware! Your endo or diabetologist will likely tell you to split your fast acting insulin into two shots about 1.5 hrs apart (or a split bolus on a pump). For example I take 1u to each 15 carbs, so that is 5 units for me. I would 75% of that when I ate (3.75u) and the other 15% an hour and a half later (1.25u). Split boluses are much easier with a pump if you get on one.
I personally still prefer syringe therapy to the pumps as currently designed. I’m holding out for the Jewel Pump by Debiotech.
Other words of advice, you will cycle through denial or the urge to not care/monitor your self. I went through this about once a year for the first 3 years, then once ever 2 years through college. After a while I just decided that dosing was like taking vitamins! Most everyone takes viatmins to stay healthy…I take insulin. I plan to out live them all!!!
If you need to vent or have questions, feel free to give a holler!
Hi NewT1Brotha- Your feelings are not that unusual. It hasn’t been a month since your Dx. You need to take your time and get used to the situation of having D. There are so many aspects of successful diabetic living that you will need to learn and you can do it with the aid of the members of TuD as well as your health team. You should definitely tell at least 1 member of your family,because you could have a low BS in their presence and your family could be frightened to see you that way. We all dealt with our Dx differently, I was 55 yo when I was Dx’ed w/T-1. I really didn’t dwell on the why’s or how comes, I just lived each day and learned how to handle my “new life.” I have adjusted quite well after 12 years. I am sure you will do the same. You seem like a very determined person.
Good for you! Doing a lot of research is what it’s all about. I look forward to the day when you are a tremendous communicator on behalf of all of us who aren’t such great communicators.! We have all gone through the speechless phase while we gathered our resources. We’re glad you’re on board here - welcome. I remember a confusion phase. It passes after awhile. And there are lots of us in this community to give you hugs.
Sometimes the best communications are non-verbal, sometimes the best way to learn how to tell someone else is to figure out how to tell yourself, and sometimes the best way to communicate is to stop trying to make it so “professional” and just make it direct.
Sit your family and fiancee down and just say the last words of your post. “I am a T1 Diabetic.” The reactions of those who love you will surprise and amaze you.
I guess on the bright side, I’ve had to deal with this for over 52 years and your not the only person who is a type 1 diabetic. All that a person can do is to deal with the hand that has been dealt to you. With the information that is now available and the medical technology that has improved substantially from when I was diagnosed, it’s in your favour. Fortunately,or unfortunately(as the case may be) your family members will eventually find out and probably, the sooner the better. The moral support that they give you might surprise you.
Diabetes doesn’t carry the stigma today as it did years ago. In those days, saying the word Diabetic was like saying the word CANCER.
The knowledge of the Professionals was limited in Medical Schools then, and was strictly for Family Practice.
Professionals knew, more education was needed, so many specialized. From then on everything changed for the better.
Diabetes has become a major epidemic in the States and the World. Do your research, ask your questions, find a
support group both on and off line and know your Disease. " Diabetes is known to the Gov. as the Silent Disability. "
Everyone here at TuDiabetes has known: anger, depression, denial and acceptance of Diabetes. We are here for you with answers to questions and lots of Hugs. If someone doesn’t know the answer, someone else will. When you form your goal, make sure, you control your Diabetes and not let Diabetes control you.
Whether you are T1 or T2, you are you, keep it that way, don’t close yourself off from every one you love and care about. Just " LIVE, LAUGH AND LOVE. "
i just came across your post, i am a T1 diabetic myself. i am 21 years old and have been diabetic for 14 years. it really hasnt stopped me doing anything. i was a national standard swimmer, achieved good grades at school. had a good job, and now at university. it seems sifficult now but you are not a different person to the person you were before, you jsut need to inject and becareful of what you eat. i have a boyfriend of 3 years and great friends and family who all know that i am diabetic. diabetes is some thing you live with and adapt to and so long as you control it you will be the same as anyone else. g
ood luck with everything
Cas x
I’m glad you found this website, as I’m newly joined as well but hardly a new T1 diabetic (16 years). It’s amazing what kind of reaction you get from other people, including family, when you let them know about your new diagnosis. It’s a learning experience in itself and it lets you & others discover more about the disease (eh, I hate that word but there it is).
I highly recommend attending a diabetes camp over the summer (it’s not just for kids!). They’re always in need of cool, calm, collected counselors! I’ve been attending mine since the age of 11 and have grown from a camper to counselor and now medical staff. Our camp is full of experienced T1 diabetics (I’m assuming most diabetic camps are similar), as well as newly diagnosed ones who at the beginning of camp felt that they were the only T1 in the world (yes, I’ve been there), but go on to find lifetime diabetic friends (priceless). Let me know if you have any trouble finding these camps and I will surely help!
I sat and read this, and got a big lump in my throat.
I think your Fiancee is your first, sounds like she is going to become your life long partner:) The rest of your family needs to know after that so there is no Secret to be leaked out…you know what I mean.
There should be no shame. You can count your blessing that it was found before something worse happened, or they all would have been scared to death and of course they all would have known…
And a heads up, it is wonderful having someone that knows you have it, so when you do get a Low they know, or are there to help you.
I have to tell people, when I eat out, or at there home I have to give myself a shot and food choices have to be made for me.
It is just part of being a type 1…
Your still very cool, and can still be calm and be yourself…
I get angry, and have learned it is ok to vent my frustration…I usually do it right as my better half is giving me a shot! He knows all of me, and the best part is The Diabetes belongs to us both now:) it was a agreement. So someday the sickness and health part of our Vows will have a very special meaning:)
I hope you find peace with this Type 1, you have lots of people here that will befriend you and you can rant and vent and all of can relate:)
It’s a huge jolt to a person’s world. My head was reeling for 3 days after diagnosed with T1, before I decided I would give it a shot, (Uh, bad choice of words - 27 years and I’ve never used that particular phrase). For me, there are times I can’t believe it - I’m a diabetic! And I wonder how other people must see me. There are times when I feel sorry for myself. There are times when I see others struggling with life’s difficulties and I am so thankful all I have to deal with is diabetes. Yeah, it sucks, but so do a lot of things if you dwell on that fact long enough. Bottom line is: it is what it is. It’s your new accessory in the journey of your life. I understand not wanting to share with other people. So many respond in the strangest ways or with comments that I would never even imagine saying to anyone, but there are also a few people who think I’m amazing for handling it “so well.” My pat response is, “I make it look easy.” I know it’s not easy, and I know well-meaning people who tell me they know someone “who doesn’t or didn’t take care of him/herself” have no idea what is involved in taking care of oneself. I find I’m happiest when I repeat, " Like I said, I make it look easy, but it’s not." And that’s become the extent of my defense for myself and everyone else who has diabetes. Explaining yourself to people will be challenging, and you don’t need to if you don’t wish to. You take all the time you need to share it with others in your life. Unless a situation requires disclosure for a safety issue - yours - it’s your new thing. Now you’re cool, calm, and collected and also have diabetes which makes you … still cool, calm, and collected. No blame, no shame.
Ooops!!! To clarify here, when I said …My pat response is, “I make it look easy.” I know it’s not easy, and I know well-meaning people who tell me they know someone “who doesn’t or didn’t take care of him/herself” have no idea what is involved in taking care of oneself… I meant they likely have no idea what is involved in taking care of oneself when you have diabetes! …
Echoing Julie Ann’s comments, what people need to know is that you have Type 1 diabetes, not that you are “a diabetic”. It is not your identity. You are what you have always been - a human being.
Good luck.
It is all right my diabetic brother. In time perhaps you will find the words. For now the world on which you live has suddenly started spinning backwards, and the sky has turned orange. You will find the words in time. Allow yourself to find them.
Have you shared the knowledge with your fiancee as yet, or is that relationship in the past tense?
Stuart
i was diagnosed at age 30. i was a runner like you. diagnosis was a big shock, and i can’t say i have gotten over it completely. it is hard adjusting to a new reality, but you will do it b/c you have no choice. approach your treatment like you approached your training as a runner, and maybe you will come to terms with it. i don’t think you have to tell anyone about it though, except your fiancee, b/c she will have to deal with it someday guaranteed. be thankful you have someone to help you and share your secret.
I was 22 years old in 1996 and at Great Lakes Recruit training when I found out I had type 1 diabetes. I thought it was the end for me. I had always wanted to be in the Navy and now that was over. I had to come home to all my family and friends in shame after they had such a fine send off party for me. I made it through that and found that eating low carb (before anyone heard of dr. adkins) and did it my way. Since finding that out I have stuck with it for 15 years and no complications at all doing great. Last A1C was high for me at 6.5. I have never been to the hospital and only had one low that my wife (got married twice in that time span and have a son) had to help me with. Seems with the low carb diet I don’t have nearly as many lows as I did when eating lots of carbs. I hike and go on long backpacking trips by myself just always carry plenty of snacks and glucose tabs. I have never let it stop me just don’t think about it much more than a small obstacle when many others with cancer and the like face extremely large obstacles. You my friend are really fortunate and blessed when you look at things that way. Shouldn’t stop you or your marathons just go do it and learn from them and adjust. You will feel even better about your accomplishments knowing you overcame more than the other guys yet beat them all!
Welcome to the club . you are experiencing what every LADA person has felt. It’s okay to get angry and you don’t need someone to be angry with to feel this way. you’re trying to be logical .Feeling are’nt logical. just don’t take it out on someone else,like kicking the dog.This is a shock ;your whole life has changed in a blink of an eye. Yes ,there is something to be sad about ,the person you where is gone .It’s like part of you had died . It’s okay to mourn that loss as long as you don’t get stuck in feeling sorry for yourself.It’s not only alright to grieve for your loss ,it’s a must .weall have done it.
It’s not crazy that you are finding it hard to tell your family .It’s like once you say it ,it will be cemented in reality.
I’m a marathon runner myself . I was dx’d a couple weeks after a race . I couldn’t believe what I was hearing . I was too healthy . I couldn’t be a diabetic . I thought I was too old to be a type1 and to fit to be a type2 . I never heard of anyone my age becoming a T1 . It took me a year to accept it . now it second nature.I’m still running at 56 and mylast marathon was 5Hr 15min.(not too bad for an old man) You’re not alone ;we are here for you!
I plan to out live them all!!!