Sometimes I Just Need to be Pissed. At least I have learned to not take it out on those nearest and dearest to me....Blessings. Hope you all have been able to find that pathway, to.....Judith in Portland

I hope you are feeling better soon and whatever is bothering you disappears!

Sometimes beauty soothes!:

We went to the gorgeous Maryhill Museum in the gorgeous Columbia Gorge today. One area is homage to Loie Fuller who revolutionized lighting techniques, filmography technique and stagecraft as well as inspiring Isadora Duncan...A special place!

And the museum is a 2-hour drive through the unbelievable natural wonders of the Gorge...Friday and Monday will learn a little more and will at least have a plan for coping!....Thanks for Being there.....Blessings, as ever....

That was awesome, Judith!! I am glad that you are not pissed any more. Beauty does indeed soothe. So may I wish YOU endless beauty, fabulous color, sweet scents of nature, sparkles of light, trickles of fresh water, some sweet sounds of bird song and rustling leaves, and even the hum of every day human noise on your journey. Watching a person dance a flower bloom is the most peaceful thing, so thank you for sharing that tonight.

1 Like

How can we help dear lady? Care to yell at an online friend?

1 Like

Blessings, Stuart, Old Friend. Am trying to channel various sensei, but, yes, just plain yelling could help. Friday have echocardiogram and Monday meet with doc again to see how bad liver and thyroid may be misbehaving. And so much for my "inner good girl" who has had very tight control for 7 years. The Universe speaks and one must pay attention....Thanks and love.....Judith

Thanks everybody for your incredible support. The procedure was, actually, quite awful. There was pain due to fibromyalgia tender points and also arthritis in hips and knees as I had to lay still in certain positions, and where he had to press hard to get the image.....And sorry for being an unevolved wimp, but there is no Universe in which a strange man manipulating my boobs and my belly is going to be okay......Spent the early AM trying not to vomit and meditating---body/mind stuff at war.....Made it thru Echo and, grabbing my beloved's hand and tearing out of there, via "high-speed cane technique", all the way to the car before uncontrollable shakes and gasping for air set in. Walked it off, with a focus on lovely landscaping nearby...Mama Earth to the rescue, always!....Oh---and there's also the fact that it was done in a closet with no ventilation---multiple hot flashes which make me gasp for air, sweat profusely and increase my pulse rate a lot.......And after all that---only minor discrepancies to keep track of. So hooray for no significant heart problems! BUT it means WHAT?....This is it? This is the rest of my life? Beached whale flailing through awful pain, shortness of breath, barely able to move for more than an hour at a time?---except for chair workouts, of course. For an old dancer??? The arthritis I expected. I always thought I would teach---cane or not---until I dropped.....Adjustments to make, obviously.....Onward and Blessings...

I am sorry that your tests were painful, but I am so happy that the results were good. The liver is one of the most important organs because it removes toxins from the body. Believe me. It hurts when it is not functioning. Two years after a liver resection I feel great. Fresh food and lots of pure water will regenerate your liver, especially if you have a fatty liver due to complications of diabetes. You can fix that too with healthy fats, not too many of the wrong kind of fats. Nausea is the worst. The water will help. Make sure they keep an eye on your gall bladder. Everything is connected and the digestive system is the biggest immune system that you have, fighting the worst bacteria and other invaders. Keep your diet simple. Cheers.

1 Like

Oh yes, Phooey, huge frustration with having to take those tests. Maybe something good will come from the results, though; I sure hope so. No heart issues is good. Thinking of you, but NOT as a beached whale!

1 Like

Thankful that your heart is ok. You were able to make it through the painful and emotionally draining testing with a sense of humor, despite your questions about the future. Lots has sent great thoughts and valuable message to you. Praying that you can find the best there is still to come from your remarkable life. Love to you.

God Bless,

1 Like

Thanks again, all. For a long while. I thought I was finding the pathway to aging with a little grace. Seem to have lost it. Hearing from you all will help me find my way back, I just know it....See my regular, well-trusted doc (took me years to find her) Monday early, so more soon...Blessings....Love...

Sorry to hear about your body betrayal Judith but glad the tests are over with for now and you have a doctor you like who supports you. Perhaps aging with grace is more of a fallacy than a reality!

1 Like

I agree, Lilli. Maybe we just plow on through and hope for the best! Here's a picture of the sort that helps a lot---My 2 grandsons together for a summer vacation in FLA with their Moms. They hadn't seen each other in a bit but have always adored each other in spite of age difference---or maybe because of?!

Blessings. Will check in after Doc appointment tomorrow.....

1 Like

I found this extremely helpful Judith.

1 Like

Can I say, I totally understand that need....? When I was a lot younger ... like last year, I used to drive to the country (not far in farmland) and just scream) Doesn't work so well in town though. And thanks for not taking it out on your nearest and dearest

1 Like

Oh yeah, sdkate! Did you ever do the "bash your pillow silly with a fist" version of that?.....Blessings!

Thanks, lots, my friend. I know him, of course, but not this particular book. And I have a bunch of credits built up at Barnes and Noble leftover from holiday gift-giving. I may be able to get it for free!.

When in distress, I do my morning workouts to Pema Chodron's Omega Institute online retreat sessions. I love her humor and earthiness.....Love.....

Judith, thinking of you and hoping for the very best outcome. Hugs, Maureen

1 Like
I think it's ok to get pissed!! I can be somewhat cranky a lot of the time!!
1 Like