"Please shoot up in the bathroom"

Was this the first time you ate at this place? Will you consider going back? If your answer is “yes” then I’d call and talk with the manager. Let them know that the server was way out of line in his comments. You have federal law on your side, BTW. I’d decide to return there only if the manager responds appropriately. If you wait to say anything until you return there, make sure you speak with the manager first. The server might be very familiar with bg monitors because of someone in his family, but there’s no excuse of his behavior and the manager needs to made aware of it.

1 Like

This is a stretch unless they’re letting all of their other customers inject with syringes at the table and singled her out to request she not do so because she has a disability

I did this too when I was mdi. Gotta watch out for the bleeders, though, lol.

1 Like

@MayaK ~ I have been at this for 33 years now. As a child my father would give me my insulin in the open since, as a male, he could not take me into the bathroom to medicate me. (Some will argue that we have “family” rooms for that today.) Nonetheless, we often got reactions from stupid people at neighboring table and security guards telling us: “We don’t do that here.” Aside from the fact that they must have been plain stupid and/or crazy because who allows a parent to inject their child with heroin and/or other illegal drugs?!? Perhaps it would also be good to mention that in this time frame insulin was from vile(s) and hypodermic needles.

Nonetheless, today, If I am in a fancy restaurant, I will go to the restroom and take my insulin there. (I won’t lie, I am just much too lazy to lug around my glucometer.) If I am in a McDonald’s, food court, rest area, school, etc., I will take my insulin in the open. I have only had a problem twice…the first was at College. My classmate was actually a nurse and had accused me of being on illegal drugs because of the language I used one night when I called my mother to bring me a “clean needle” at school. (All the needles I had on me had already been used. Another debate for another time.) The second was at a McDonald’s in Washington, DC, which by the way, has a large heroin problem! When the security guard came up to me I was ready to fight! After all, the American Diabetes Association is located in Alexandria, VA. He actually came over to tell me he was one out of five brothers and sisters that did not have Diabetes. The encounter actually left me feeling empowered!

Nevertheless, I am torn about this topic right at this second because I am not embarrassed in any way shape or form to inject in front of other people. However, why do I feel that a fancy restaurant deserves a different set of decorum?

On the other hand, while taking a certificate course in Washington, DC, I often joked and told those around me: “Yea, I gotta’ shoot up before eating.” Someone else on this site mentioned that we as a community need to be cognizant of our words…maybe that us truer now more than ever.

@MayaK and @Nicole16

First and foremost, I apologize since I wrote earlier, but just saw this particular reply and would have included it in my earlier reply. Just an opinion, but I believe Nicole16 has the perfect solution. It would have gotten the attention of the Manager and/or Owner of the establishment. It would have been open to the public, including other Diabetics, so that they can make their own decisions about the establishment.

Moreover, if the “server…was being a jerk,” maybe having his name plastered all over the internet as an indecent person would teach him something. By the way, I don’t think he was “being nice” later on because he is a “nice” person, I believe he was afraid his “t.i.p” was in danger of diminishing. (TIP = To Insure Proper Service)

1 Like

Not a PWD but I am a P(arent) and a (P)sychologist WD. When a situation like the OP’s catches us unawares, it makes us angry, indignant, sad, and pained. I think it’s important to anticipate the rudeness and ignorance and be prepared. Thanks to the OP for helping in this regard. My $.02 if it appeals to you… Have the “how can I educate others” script at the ready. Rehearse how you might handle
things firmly, assertively, and with an eye toward educating not alienating or attacking others. A card is an interesting idea. How many of you have seen the Diabetes Etiquette cards at behavioraldiabetes.org? It’s got some really great suggestions. For this situation: “DON’T look so horrified when I check my blood sugars or give myself an injection. It is not a lot of fun for me either. Checking blood sugars and taking medications are things I must do to manage diabetes well. If I have to hide while I do so, it makes it much harder for me.” Make up your own and keep them in your wallet, ready for enthusiastic distribution. Feeling empowered and confident in how to manage situations helps us feel effective and masterful about living with diabetes, rather than vulnerable and agrieved. Ok, so that was more like $1.02, but … Take what you will and leave the rest!

I"m so sorry you’ve had these experiences! I wonder if it’s because you are (or appear to be) a younger male…I’m female and now 52, with 40 years of type 1, almost all of it taking shots, and not once have I been treated badly or anyone asked/told me not to in public.

I have always tested and taken shots with syringes, pens or now a pump wherever I was - sometimes the bathroom is the most convenient place, but if I’m at a table or on a plane, I do it there. I’m always discreet, but I don’t try to hide what I need to do to be alive either!

I’m usually surprised that no one notices, even if next to a stranger on a plane.

@Cocheze I hope you don’t let those ignorant, insensitive people keep you from living the life you want and deserve!

How very unpleasant for you. I think you did really well to state your point of view and not to comply. :relaxed:

1 Like

It could very well be a challenge for those of us who are younger. I remember having more encounters with other people who thought they could share their opinions than I do now that I’m older. I think I have that 50 year old resting bitchy face that says “don’t even think about talking to me about taking this shot if you know what’s good for you.”

3 Likes

I have let them take over my life. I can’t imagine going on a date or out I friends with a pump much less injections. I eat by myself or carry out nowadays.ive put up with enough carp.

Cocheze, I’ve probably said this before, but you might want to consider talking about this with a professional therapist or mental health counselor. There actually are ones who specialize in dealing with chronic conditions. I suggest to you Diane Herbert, the mental health counselor at Gary’s Scheiner’s practice. They do most of their consultations remotely by Skype or Google Hangout.

You don’t have to live like this.

7 Likes

There seems to something in human nature that, if not kept in check, always jumps to conclusions and always puts the worst possible construction on what it sees. One of our oldest members (“old” in terms of tenure with TuDiabetes, that is) was once involved in a traffic stop. The cop found a syringe in the glove box and it took hours and hours and hours to straighten that out. She laughs about it now, but there was nothing funny about it at the time.

1 Like

The bathroom of a public restroom is likely far less clean than the table, and I’ve never had anyone react in that way in over 30 years as a type 1.

I hope to heaven you did not leave a tip… I would have followed my visit with a letter to the owner at the address for service of process that I was deliberately made to feel uncomfortable and unwelcome by the server due to my medical condition, that I would never return to the restaurant, and that they should promptly address this inappropriate reaction with their staff.

So sorry to hear that! It sounds like you live in a town with many uneducated, unaware people. I hope you’ll find some new friends who will accept you as you are. Maybe there’s a diabetes support group in your area? Best wishes to you!

1 Like

I’m sure I would make fun of them somehow, it would really depend on the specifics of what they said but I’d make fun of them somehow…

2 Likes

Why did you continue to stay and eat at a place that had no respect for you? I would have voted with my feet if any “jerk” said that to me. I would have made sure the management knew why I was leaving as well.

i’ve been told to not use my pump at the table.

i see a therapist and psychiatrist for bipolar disorder. not one other type 1 diabetic with a pump has told me of any social problems that they have come across. so maybe the problem isn’t the pump or diabetes, maybe the problem is my bipolar disorder. perhaps i have a certain look on my face or i give off a bad vibe or look shady. i don’t know what to think anymore.

I used to be just the opposite, where I would go to the restaurant bathroom to bolus until a therapist I saw said, “Why are you doing that? Don’t you think the people you are with, would like to have the additional time to be speaking with you?” I realized the therapist was right, and stopped going into bathrooms to ‘shoot up’. Now I use a pump, and will also be going to Afrezza inhaler, and use both in public no longer going into bathrooms to bolus.

4 Likes

Glad you didn’t take your shot in the bathroom. I’m NOT going to a public restroom to check my blood glucose or to give myself a shot. I’m currently taking a break from pumping. It might be permanent because pumping didn’t make that much of a difference in my A1c levels. (What’s made more of a difference is having a CGM, but that’s another discussion for another time.)

All of that to say after a break of 10 year so years I’m back to injections. I’m an insulin dependent diabetic. Full stop. I will take care of myself. I will check my glucose level when I need to and where I need to. I will also give myself a shot when and where I need to. I was diagnosed years ago in the 90s when I was in college, and it didn’t take long for me to take that perspective. I’ve lived and traveled abroad, and I’ve never had a problem. Recently, I was on a company trip abroad and was a little nervous as we have folks from other countries there, but I had no issues during company dinners. I think your waiter was really just being a jerk.

I think I would have left the restaurant. However, I can understand that at the end of a long day, you really just want to relax and eat. I would have, however, reported the server to a manager.

5 Likes