Having lived the T1D Suck for 52 years that description pretty much nails it. And the new hybrid loop 670G is just as clueless on how to effectively deal with a early failed infusion site as I ever was so it’s anything but a cure.
It’s a full fledged battle every single day, sick or well, tired or energized, hard at work or on vacation. There’s always hope as long as I’m willing to do the finger sticks, calibrations, boluses, corrections, injections, temp basal or temp targets, set changes, site rotations, sensor changes, cartridge changes, lab work, foot examinations, detailed explanations to my health care team and staying informed on what is covered and what isn’t by my health insurance.
… sitting in the opthamologist office waiting for the news - good or bad.
… waiting for the results of kidney test wondering if dialysis is in your future
… that … of so fun … emg test where they put needles in your palms and in the muscles in your foot, and zap you to see how high you jump.
… the pain of joint problems like frozen shoulder, carpal tunnel syndrome, trigger finger …
… the extra challenges in sports where your friends have to worry about fatigue, you also have to worry about balancing glucose
Does it sound depressing? You bet because this disease can be darn depressing sometimes. Do I hate my diabetes, you bet. Do I deal with and handle it? You bet. I don’t have a choice. I don’t want to sit in that eye doctors office and get the news I’ve been dreading most of my life. This disease is not nice, it doesn’t play fair and it can disrupt a persons life on a daily basis.
That being said, I do what I need to do and I do it as well as I can day in and day out. I don’t whine and complain a lot mainly because no one who doesn’t have the disease is really going to get it, so I don’t even try. It is what it is and I move on. The waiting for a cure in “5years” went out the door a long time ago and while I am starting to feel hopeful about that cure again, just don’t know if it will be in my life time.
So while mainly found it depressing, I found it very factual and while I tend to put on a very happy face and always try for the glass half full mentality, it can be so tough when you are constantly being defeated but a condition that doesn’t play by the rules.
While the disease is depressing, I find myself pushing the depression down to a level where people don’t see.
In reaction to this writing, my family said “That’s not you at all. You’ve handled this disease with an amazing attitude”. To which I responded, “your not seeing how I feel deep down”.
Michael- I so hear you. My family thinks the same. They always say what a great job I do & how well I handle everything but that is because I have always felt it’s my disease & I am the only one who has any kind of control over it ( if there can ever be control of it). I just suck it up & deal with it everyday. Even though my family has been with me every step of the way, they don’t hear the half of it everyday. Because, really who wants to hear it everyday!
Depression can be cured. One does not lead to the other. Diabetes is easier if one is not depressed. Self pity doesn’t help. After 50+ years I like the challenge of it.
I have been following this thread for a couple of days, and I have some observations and comments.
First, diabetes does NOT suck, it is NOT unbearable, it is NOT an obstacle. It just IS.
I refuse to be a victim of anything, including diabetes. If you are a victim you are already a loser. And ultimately, if you are a victim, you are only a victim of yourself because you are the only one who decided you are a victim.
We have diabetes, a disease, that insinuated itself into our lives. But it is there and we have to control it and not let it RULE our lives. If you let diabetes control you it has already defeated you.
Bitching and moaning about it is destructive and really serves no useful purpose. The bottom line is Just Do It!
While I do disagree about the “ultimate suck” line, I like this piece of writing overall.
I think that most people, looking at my life, would say that I suck it up and do what needs to be done without complaint a vast majority of the time. I certainly haven’t let diabetes or anything else stop me from doing things I wanted to do.
But does it suck sometimes? Yep. I’ve written pieces very similar to the above. Does that make me a weak loser who’s given up and lets diabetes rule? Definitely not!
I don’t think it’s a bad thing to acknowledge and express negative emotions during moments that do suck. For some of us, it’s part of what allows us to get over it and get on with it the rest of the time.
Acknowledging and confronting vulnerability looks healthy to me. I see it as the mark of a winner, one poised to take on the long game that is diabetes.
When you actually read it again and absorb whats being said its spot on with the truth in dealing with diabetes. It is…
"…every minute of every hour of every day …and never knowing how many of those we have left
Diabetes is….the ultimate suck.
Diabetes is this and so much more…but mostly
Diabetes is…still without a cure!"
We definately need a cure and getting the truth of experiencing daily struggles with diabetes out there, maybe someone will realise its not just about controlling BSL’s, its about daily struggles in dealing with this disease and the effects it has on our organs and life expectancy. WE NEED TO FIND A CURE!
Thank you Slaight Brad for being brutally honest.
I am always so excited when I see so many of us with the positive attitude and outlook to their diabetes. I have always had the other feelings. The scary thoughts and feelings that started from the very beginning. When you and your family are told the horrible things that were in your future, it’s very hard to see the glass half full and everything with a positive glow. And while that fear has helped me keep things in line for me, it may not work for everyone. I do hate my disease. I hate how much control it has over my live and those around me. But I deal with everyday, every moment, all the time. At this point, much of it is automatic but it’s still there every moment and it demands my attention and respect every day. It does suck for me but it doesn’t destroy the joy I feel for life. The joy I have with and for my family and friends. And as hard as it is for me to say, there is much that has been good about the diabetes. I fact that I am healthier than many of the people I know a because of my diabetes. I probably wouldn’t walk everyday, or eat a well balanced diet everyday, or see the doctor as often as I do. So yes, some good but still don’t like it or how it controls my life.
This is in response to this entire string of comments. I have been T 1 for 63 years. And can honestly say I have never been depressed about it or really struggled with it. It is a challenge at times, but everyone (not just T1’s) has those in one way or another. When I was able to receive a grant to cover college costs for people who had handicaps I thought who me handicapped?? It probably did help my family with costs related to my T1. Obviously I haven’t had to worry about life expectancy since I am now 71. I did have hemorrhaging in both my eyes starting in 1982. But with laser treatments as needed over the next 12 years I have continued to have good eyesight to this day. To any younger person who develops T1, I would say don’t let it limit what you want to do in life. Learn how best to handle it and go for it.
@Sally7, I really like your reply. That is exactly the way I feel. When I look at so many of my relatives who smoke, are overweight and who eat so much junk food, I know that my lifestyle is much healthier. If it was not for my 71 years of type 1, I think I would be so much like my relatives. I think I might have a longer life because of diabetes.
The original point of the post was not about “attitude” positive or negative, dealing with it or not, living a healthier life than non diabetics but the simple fact if we don’t do ALL the high maintenance stuff to take care of ourselves we won’t be posting to a forum, we’ll be lying 6ft under!
And even following all the recommendations and vigorously working out, eating small quantities of healthy food, we still have a higher risk of cardiovascular problems! THAT’S WHAT SUCKS!