Right, Judith. I got that…it does not change my opinion that we should not expect the Whole Wide World to only offer what We Can Eat. I try real hard not to be special or noticed other than that t-shirt. LOL
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If you read the bit that I quoted above my post, I was responding to the idea that, with practice, most any foods can be managed. The cereal was an example of a food that, for me, can’t be managed (or at least I haven’t yet figured out how to after many attempts). For others, maybe it’s pizza or burgers or other things that are around at social gatherings.
I, for one, can’t eat most food at social gatherings because of food allergies, some of which are severe enough that cross-contamination (a spoon being used to serve one thing and then another, or shared knives, cutting boards, or pots and pans during cooking) is enough to trigger an anaphylactic reaction. There are many social events I go to where I’m just not comfortable eating and bring my own food. I still go to and enjoy social events for their social aspect. I don’t think anyone here is saying that people must follow our way of eating (that’s impossible, since so many people these days have differing dietary eeds), but only that those around them need to be comfortable if someone turns down food or even chooses not to eat anything at all. Whether or not you choose to reveal the health reasons behind the decision to not eat something is completely personal. You choose not to, I find it easier to do so. Both are OK.
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I do like the Tee shirt!..
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@Jen…These days, the most common offering of alternatives to me are “gluten free” which are usually way to many carbs for me. It’s not hard for me to say no thanks as I always have a snack with me if I need it. I usually try for a brief teaching moment…
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I use 120 for a goal too but am pretty flexible about it, using it as sort of the focus. If my CGM is showing 119, 120, 121, that’s no big deal but if I see 115-120-129, with the delta increasing, I will consider, if maybe I need another bolus. I don’t worry about a 130 per se but quickly consider whether action is needed. The later data would confirm my carb count was “off” somehow and I’d hit it with a bolus and maybe pair that with a 200% basal (Medtronic, so twice the normal rate as @Terry4 helped clarify…) as sometimes raising the basal seems to “push” the IOB a bit. Then glance again, maybe in 1/2 hour or so and see how we’re doing and it usually works and I can cut the basal back then. If it looks like it really “grew teeth”, I might cut the basal back to 7%-50% to balance out the “landing”. If I have cereal for breakfast, I will prebolus 15 minutes, maybe bolus, shower and then eat. I agree it’s pretty spiky, and then cut some basal when it starts to crash, pretty much the same plan. It’s not a lot but just being flexible in my approach and reducing large highs has helped me get my A1C pretty normalized.
It’s pretty much the “Sugar Surfing” approach of unplugging from “good/ evil” and focusing on what I can do to get things back to normal when they head away from it. Dr. Ponder seems fonder of boluses than the temp basal approach but it’s sort of 6 of one 1/2 dozen of the other. I like that a basal can be “untaken” a bit more readily. If I’ve set it for two hours and my BG starts to come around, I can just kill the temp basal where as a bolus is there to stay.
If I’m at a party and encounter stuff like cake after a huge dinner, I simply say “nah, I’m trying to pace myself.” If I need a visual aid, I’ll bulge out my gut and rub my tummy as a visual aid and mortify my wife and daughter. Laughter is the best medicine, after insulin. And test strips and pumps and CGMs and all that stuff…
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Thanks for sharing your approach. It’s good to know I’m not completely crazy (as Mum says ‘You aren’t completely crazy: several important parts are still missing!’) 
I’ve ordered a copy of Dr Ponder’s book.
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I found it very interesting and there were several interesting science tidbits about what I guess could broadly be labeled “variability” in “Sugar Surfing” but a lot of the D-tactics are pretty much things I’ve sort of figured out on my own over the years, including many conversations here at Tu!. I am very glad that the book is out though as it 1) is compiled all in one place 2) it’s written by a doctor 3) the doctor in question has had diabetes for 49 years! 4) the doctor has a whacky sense of humor!!
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i know that this might sound somewhat outrageous, but my own father still tries to push ice cream and cookies on me after every meal we share together. i have been T1 for 30+ yrs, and he also sends me dozens of NY Times articles on T2D. he doesn’t get it. and, whats also insane is that his younger brother was D and wouldn’t take his shots or change his diet and he had one foot amputated and went blind, then he died of pancreatic cancer. you’d think my dad would have figured all this out by now.
my greatest problem w/ social events and food are w/ restaurants. if someone asks me and my husband out to dinner, i go right to the internet and look up the restaurants menu. if there is not a reasonable option for me, i will get back to my hosts and suggest another restaurant.
this has worked well for me w/out much debate.
i have difficulty w/ dinner parties, though. mostly b/c the meals take place over a longer period of time and i am hesitant to do a square bolus w/ my pump. if i can’t eat something that is served i simply say that i can’t eat it/dont care for it, “thank you.” i find that most people are more concerned w/ having their plates filled full than they are w/ my almost empty one. generally people might look at me and comment ,“that’s why she’s so thin.”
if i find myself in a situation wherein i need to explain myself and my D, it has made for some interesting conversation.
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There is no greater joy for me then having ice cream with my dad, and my grandchildren!
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Did it take you long to figure out adjusting your bolus for it–in terms of timing and dose? My mind goes to the practical—like it took me a long time (with no meds yet) to figure out how to safely eat a little rice. At first, it was just easier to say No to all rice because pre-dx, I could eat mounds of it. And then, with my sweetie’s patient help on trial and error, I found that a small amount of Purple Thai rice not only didn’t give me a spike, but was satisfying because the flavors were so dense and many layered…
I know the circumstances are different, but someday I’m sure I will be bolusing so I study you all----you are all my very most beloved teachers on the intricacies of Advanced Management!
Personally I find “we mad a special treat just for you cuz we know you can’t eat what normal people eat” one of the most galling and uncomfortable things imaginable. Not least because they almost always get it wrong and then you’re really screwed (at work, they once brought nachos instead of cake when it was my b’day. Arrggggh! Just bring CAKE–it’s FINE!) But I didn’t see anyone here trying to make it the hosts’ responsibility for accommodating us. I thought the thread was more about those circumstances where you’re kind of cornered for one reason or another. Seems like people are pretty creative in how many different ways they come up with for dealing with that.
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Yes, I got the gist of the thread. I guess I am one who has simply never been cornered or felt the need to explain why I won’t eat this or that. I am one who does not wear the Scarlet D on my head though, as you must have figured out. As said, I don’t have occasions where I get “a special treat just for me”, so I guess I don’t know what I’d do.
Oh wait, yes I do!! I would say, “Why, thank you. May I take that home for later, I was planning to have blah blah blah”.
i read your posts all the time and i find them fascinating. i cannot imagine being able to bolus for even 1/2 of the things you eat. i wish i could walk in your shoes for a day or two or more. btw, what is your A1c due to all of this creative eating? if i have just 1 C of coffee before 11am, i spike terribly ( >100 points !!! 
) if i take a larger bolus to try and compensate for the spike, i go low. but at other times of day, i can drink coffee w/out spiking. i spike from dairy and any simple carbs. UGH. HOW DO YOU DO IT???
simple carb, dual bolus or not. its very frustrating, so much so that i would rather not eat the problematic foods at all.
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[quote=“Daisy_Mae, post:56, topic:47783, full:true”]
simple carb, dual bolus or not. its very frustrating, so much so that i would rather not eat the problematic foods at all.[/quote]Yes we know! But Cocheze was talking about social etiquette and the struggle with being polite and how to deal with that kind of stuff. I think Cocheze is quite a bit younger than you or I, and said "food aspect of being social has made me less likely to go to parties or other social gatherings where food might be." I never saw where the way to handle the food with insulin and such was a problem, just the distress of being different and feeling the need to explain.
Daisy Mae, you probably should get that basal testing over and done. And Yay that you have found a way to deal with problem foods by choosing to avoid them. Cocheze wants to fit in and not feel made fun of.
Cocheze, I know you have not participated in your own thread but I still want to encourage you to learn not to let your diabetes keep you from enjoying parties, and dinners, and whatever. You don’t have to explain yourself, if you choose to do that and find the audience to be unkind or incapable of understanding, then leave.
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Adding my own “Amen!” to that one.
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my basals are great when i don’t eat all the carbs. i think it is probably an issue w/ my bolus/ insulin:carb ratio, perhaps. but i do know that when i fast, i have the nice flat line of about 120 on my cgm. and i feel good at that level.
i know that you must know this about me already, but i will state it again: i even need to bolus for all proteins. my system is just wired that way.
and yes, i also realize i missed the boat on the thread about social etiquette. i was on another planet and my mind just wandered.
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I’m new here and saw this. I had to finally drop what you called the “D bomb” at work. There was a guy who handed out candy to everyone. I’d politely decline it each time and finally, he got mad at me and said something nasty to me. He was offended by my refusal so I just told him the truth. He doesn’t offer me candy anymore, which is good. Trying to fit in on a social level is difficult when I’m trying to behave and not jack up my bs but I can usually find veggies or something to nibble on.
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Visiting Alternative Reality Tunnels is one of the privileges of being human! I used to congratulate my students on their creative booboos–they always led the class to try a small side-path that might just lead someplace fascinating…
I don’t bolus yet and so am intimately involved with the need to manage by what I eat and how much I exercise. Balancing carbs/fats/protein is a constant battle for lo-carbers who had to learn it late in life…Thanks for participating, @Daisy_Mae. It’s nice to get to know you…Judith
Welcome @Ladybelle…I’m happy you found us…I would like to ride into your workplace and whack that co-worker upside the head! Yeah–I have a Dona Quixote streak. Some folks are Rude out of lifelong habit, or just never learned empathy. Or curiosity, even. They are to be pitied–not us, who know how we need to live day-to-day to be able to “live long and prosper.”
I don’t know his story. If he is someone you have to deal with daily, you might try something like: What fun—let me take a couple pieces for my friend/child/mom/whoever. It is Halloween month, after all, this probably won’t be the last one of these goofballs. And, if you can afford it, you could bring in an alternative treat—food or not–a silly little charm or plastic skeleton to “sillify” their desks…
My grandson is 10 and has buddies of all kinds now. His best friend has been on a pump for a few years! They have all found fun, goofy Halloween treats that aren’t food, for instance…Anyway, we all get it…My very first time ever to test my BS in public was jury duty and I was mortified!..Blessings and be welcome…Judith in Portland
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Work situations seem to generate a lot of problems. For some people there’s job risk involved in “coming out.” In my case there isn’t, fortunately, because there are several people in my immediate group who are really into baking, occasionally doing sales to raise $$ for causes or just bringing examples of their special recipes in for us to enjoy, and it would be extremely difficult after a while if I hadn’t been open about my reason for abstaining. So it’s avoided a lot of trouble that I haven’t made a secret of my T1. At the same time I’ve been very clear that I’ve had decades of experience saying “No” (I find I just have to have a zero-tolerance policy for sweets because once that roadblock is breached it’s that much more difficult to put it back up again), and I’d be much more uncomfortable if people didn’t have them on my account.
And every once in a while I get “lucky” and have a hypo on one of those days when someone’s brought something special to share.
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