Good god that’s a scary breakfast! And followed by dessert? Ick! Except for the bacon
This is especially awkward because of the small size of the group setting. The good news is that you’ve already informed her of your dietary needs, so I don’t think she’ll be too surprised as you pass the pancakes to someone else. It was nice of her to inform you so that you could be prepared!
I have attended a motherload of baby showers lately, and I make sure I eat a big breakfast beforehand. I go full, so as not to be tempted to “politely eat” something. We all know that never ends well.
When I arrive, I find a cup of coffee or glass of water to hold and just keep busy socializing with everyone. I even offer to hold friends’ babies so they can eat. I have found that most people don’t even notice what you’re eating or not eating. If cake wafts under my nose, I just say, “oh, no thank you” and turn my head and continue my conversation. No one cares that I don’t eat the cake.
The other option is to arrive with an edible dish - maybe an egg scramble casserole or frittata that can be easily reheated if you’d like to eat alongside everyone.
I stayed at my “very busy sister’s” house one weekend, and she told me in advance she didn’t have time to shop for me. I didn’t take it personally at all, I appreciated her for letting me know, and she didn’t take offense when I had meals out or did grocery shopping for myself. You do what you have to do, and I have really found that most people don’t notice what you don’t eat - they’re too busy eating themselves
We do have some friends who invited us for breakfast and a football game one morning - breakfast being waffles - and we just told them we like to eat really early, so we’d be happy to join them for just the game. They still offered us waffles when we arrived, but we declined and it was no biggie.
Let us know how it goes!