When you've been warned there's nothing you can eat

at a social event by someone who knows you have diabetes, do you

a) not go?
b) bring your own food?
c) eat before you go?

My very busy friend is having a birthday dinner for her youngest child later on today. He was told he could invite one family to join them and chose us; and he was told he could choose the menu and he chose cereal, pancakes, bacon and OJ. Which my friend is making, along with cookies and cake. My friend, who knows I am diabetic, has told me the menu in advance, with her apologies that she doesn’t have time to cook anything I can eat (well, I can eat bacon, but that’s it).

I’m pretty much required by the bonds of friendship NOT to choose A, although I’d really prefer it. Trying to decide between B and C. What do others do? Or am I just unlucky and this doesn’t happen to anyone else?

Perhaps bring a snack but eat before you go?
A combination of b and C… ?

That really sucks…
Not sure you can eat eggs, but I do kind of think that, if they are cooking pancakes, some scrambled eggs wouldnt be difficult and would be low carb enough with the bacon to have a meal with everyone (and thats why I see why you dont want to go)

I can also see why you don’t want to go! How hard is it to throw together a salad? If she had asked you to bring somethiing to contribute that you can eat I’d feel better about it.

Why not go and eat all the bacon before anyone else has a chance at it :slight_smile:

I don’t know, I guess I see it a little differently. You were invited to a birthday party of a child (from the choice of menu, he sounds young?). The child has requested you. I would feel honored at that and would remember that this is not my birthday party nor my last meal. I would unobtrusively choose b or c and have a blast! I love me a good party :slight_smile:

C and just munch on some bacon. Or make a D friendly dish and bring it as your contribution to the meal.

This has happened to me so I try to plan in advance to handle it. I don’t expect anyone to remember what I can and can’t eat so I try not to make a big deal about it. A is definitely out in my view. I find I can have 1 bite of almost anything so I would have a taste of the cake.

Good god that’s a scary breakfast! And followed by dessert? Ick! Except for the bacon :slight_smile:

This is especially awkward because of the small size of the group setting. The good news is that you’ve already informed her of your dietary needs, so I don’t think she’ll be too surprised as you pass the pancakes to someone else. It was nice of her to inform you so that you could be prepared!

I have attended a motherload of baby showers lately, and I make sure I eat a big breakfast beforehand. I go full, so as not to be tempted to “politely eat” something. We all know that never ends well.

When I arrive, I find a cup of coffee or glass of water to hold and just keep busy socializing with everyone. I even offer to hold friends’ babies so they can eat. I have found that most people don’t even notice what you’re eating or not eating. If cake wafts under my nose, I just say, “oh, no thank you” and turn my head and continue my conversation. No one cares that I don’t eat the cake.

The other option is to arrive with an edible dish - maybe an egg scramble casserole or frittata that can be easily reheated if you’d like to eat alongside everyone.

I stayed at my “very busy sister’s” house one weekend, and she told me in advance she didn’t have time to shop for me. I didn’t take it personally at all, I appreciated her for letting me know, and she didn’t take offense when I had meals out or did grocery shopping for myself. You do what you have to do, and I have really found that most people don’t notice what you don’t eat - they’re too busy eating themselves :slight_smile:

We do have some friends who invited us for breakfast and a football game one morning - breakfast being waffles - and we just told them we like to eat really early, so we’d be happy to join them for just the game. They still offered us waffles when we arrived, but we declined and it was no biggie.

Let us know how it goes!

Ditto that bacon comment. Just put the whole plate in front of you and see what they do. Kindly explain this is a normal serving size for one person :slight_smile:

LOL! I’d have to fight her youngest for the bacon. His love of bacon is a long-standing multifamily joke.

Wars could be fought over bacon.

I’d go, sit at the table and mutter something about being really hungry. Sorry but if any of my friends ever did that to me, they wouldn’t be my friends any more. How rude!

I can throw a salad together in 3 minutes, open a can of tuna to throw on top. I can also buy a BBQ chicken and a prepared salad from just about anywhere! I could save some dinner from the night before, or freeze something from a few nights ago that isn’t high carb. And if I seriously didn’t have time, I’d talk to whoever I was inviting and ask them whether they’d like to being something.

I would never, ever tell a guest that I didn’t want to make anything for them for a meal, or not suggest a slew of alternatives.

Since I have Celiac and food intolerances as well as Diabetes, I always take food with me, unless it’s a large gathering with a variety of food being offered. We take a salad or casserole that can serve as an entire meal and enough to share. (Not relevant for this dinner, but I usually carry some kind of crackers in my gigantic purse that will work if a dip will be served.) I’ve got to think your friend was a little bit rude to you; dinner parties are usually for serving guests and making them feel welcome. Try to have fun anyway!

This is just so rude, as far as your friend was concerned. It’s a dinner, not a gathering at which something will be served where you will not be expected to participate. I would bring food if I had to attend. But probably would make some excuse, such as a serious headache, etc. to give myself an “out” so I would not have to attend.

I agree with Kate, you should go and not worry about the menu. Unless you’re on a very restrictive insulin regimen there is no reason that you can’t skip dinner or eat something after you get home from the party. If I’m at a social event where there is nothing I can eat - for either health or religous reasons - I don’t eat although sometimes I’ll bring some nuts or an apple to munch on.


Before a party I often eat a meal at home and then bring some carb friendly snacks with me. I don’t expect others to change their menus for me. I often carry nuts, cheese, low carb crackers or raw veggies with me when I go out.

I get invited to events/celebrations where there’s little or anything I can eat. Close friends have an annual Christmas trim-the-tree pary that’s just dessert. That’s an easy one because I bring dessert I can eat & do my best to ignore tables creaking under the load of goodies. Usually, I eat before I go parties,. If it’s the type of thing where I can bring food without it being rude, I’ve done that also. I’d rather attend than not attend most social events (unless I’m looking for an excuse not to go).

First off, go and enjoy the bacon! Second, bring something that if need be you can eat. Just ask the host to place it in the fridge. Most people are pretty cool when it comes to people not being able to eat what they serve.

Also I guess it most be a D thing with bacon, because I love it. If I could I would have it at every meal. The only sad part would be I would have to add a heart doc to my list of vists each quarter.

Hey Brock… FYI bacon isn’t bad for you! Meat and fat are good… grains and sugars are not so good. Check out the Cholesterol Myth for more info :slight_smile:

That’s ditto for me.

I really dont understand the issue. I travel the world and am a picky eater but I always find someting I can eat and adjust my insulin to the carbs I eat. Bring some sugar free syrup or Diet Smuckers Raspberry preserves and enjoy a pancake or 2! A pancake surely wont kill you, I think we all need to adapt and all the specialized diets is getting a little crazy that we no longer can enjoyy a meal with others because we have special dietary needs.