Staying on track (psychologically)

1

I have found that I am great at avoiding foods I know are hard to bolus for, and also eating low-carb snacks, and generally being careful about trying to anticipate and adjust for everything (and don't mind putting in the extra time) when my blood sugars are stable, because I don't want to mess things up.

However, where I run into problems are days when I do everything right but my blood sugars don't cooperate.

Take yesterday. My blood sugars were 4.9 - 6.0 (88 to 162) all day which is great. I had no problems staying away from junk even though I have stuff like candy lying around from a recent gift. I just did not want to mess up my good streak. I think if every day was a good streak (or at least close) then I would have that attitude all the time.

Then today I woke up at 13.7 (247) for some reason. I started out trying to do things right: I corrected and waited for an hour. An hour later I was still 13.0 (234). So I changed my set and ate breakfast (it was either that or skip breakfast completely because I had things to do). I corrected the high again and bolused for breakfast and even added extra on. Two hours after breakfast I was 11.7 (211). So I corrected that and refrained from eating anything else for a few hours, even though I was hungry because I was high.

At lunch I was 7.4 (133) and happy I was finally down. I meticulously counted carbs as usual and bolused. Then I had a meeting and such so I couldn't test until three hours after lunch.

And I was 14.2 (256). And THAT is when I started to get really annoyed because I find it so frustrating when I get random highs and lows when I'm doing everything right.

I was meeting a friend at Starbucks. And I really wanted a frappuccino. And it's impossible to order a low-carb frappuccino, so I haven't had one in years. But I was like, "Well, even when I'm trying my best it's not working, so why bother?" And ordered it.

And then I looked up the carbs (after buying it), and it's 93g of carbs. So now I don't want to drink it ... but I've already bought it. I will probably not drink it, but that's such a waste of money and I shouldn't have bought it on impulse anyway ...

So, just wondering, how you keep on track when you are doing things "right" and still have crazy blood sugars? I find that's by far the hardest time, mostly because I get so frustrated that I'm putting in so much effort and getting such crappy results. I feel like then why even bother. If the outcome always equalled the effort I put in, then I'd almost never be high or low, but unfortunately that's not the case.

2

I would drink an Americano at Starbucks, zero carbs and probably more caffeine? W/ the AM highs, I generally don't run that high but I still see my BG surge from like 75 to 110 for no apparent reason. It's easier for me to just eat eggs and clean up the larger-than-if-I-just-ate-cereal-mess from that than to clean up a messy BG.

3

Usually I get a tall caffe misto (basically just coffee and steamed milk), which is about 6g. For cold drinks I get a tall iced latte with milk which is about 5-10g (can't remember since it's been a year ...). But that's when I'm not in a frustrated "why bother" mood.

I'm not sure what the high this morning was about. Yesterday I woke up at 5.4 (97). One of the things I find so frustrating, especially when I correct and an hour later it's barely budged!

4

I will be eager to see more responses here, because i feel the pyshological part as a parent and also seeing my son deal with his sadness over his D is the hardest part. this site has been very valuable to me in sharing my thoughts, feeling heard ect. however my son does not want to talk to any other 'special people' his words, yes he is 13 so i think he would be floundering abit without D but the long haul and the idea of being different for him is hard to take.. so any pearls of wisdom would be helpful because i never seem to have the right thing to say. jen do you think you were pmsing or something i know hormones hit hard.. some days are just that way no rhime or reason... so frustrating i think it is the overall picture that counts there will always be bad number days as long as not to many get together. keep your chin up i think the idea that we "grade" ourselves everytime we see a blood sugar reading is rough and one to move away from the numbers arent bad they are just tools to help treat and adjust, i still cringe when i see big numbers always trying to work on those reactions, i try to teach jacob he can control how he reacts, what his moods are thoughts are just thoughts but that is just mom talking nonsense to him! best wishes and better days! amy

5

I'd wonder too about basals? If you are bolusing and are running up, I'd say the 2 hour post-meal is "bolus" and the one after that, or before the next meal, might be indicative of a basal shortage? I had a wierd period recently where stuff ran up, we had a trip, I forgot CGM sensors, we were spending a lot of time on the road, back and forth between LA and San Diego and I was pretty wiped out by the end of it, numbers seemed to be running up so I turned stuff up. It's swinging back now so I'm turning it back down.

Psychologically, I'm sort of horrible. I am sort of bummed about work, super stressful, the 13 year old, with whom I'm "constantly" feuding. I have sort of gotten addicted to working out and am totally prone to getting irritible if I don't. A lot of times, when I have a day off, I'll end up sneaking off to do pushups to get a "buzz" off of it? I don't let diabetes get me down that much as I have all this other stuff to fret about. Exercise sort of takes me away from work and then I'm kind of chill for an hour. Maybe I should be more bummed out around here but to me, anyone surviving with diabetes is winning to some degree because you are taking hard drugs that can totally mess you up. And doing whatever else you do. Even if it's sitting on the couch, watching TV or whatever, it's still out there and you are able to succeed. Running off the rails is part of the deal for me too. These days, I have a new pump and am sort of "gun shy" about getting overobsessive about fiddling with the numbers, since the 523 has finer increments than the 722 it replaced so I'm inclined to fiddle with it but don't want to get carried away going up and down playing around with stuff?

6

I have come to accept after 26 years that what may work fine for one day or a series of days can all of a sudden not work for no apparent reason. When that happens I tend to cut back on food a little bit and try to get back on track the next day. That’s really all you can be expected to do.

7

Right on what Cinderfella said. And to answer this "So, just wondering, how you keep on track when you are doing things "right" and still have crazy blood sugars?", all I can say is no matter how "right" I do things, blood sugar just has a mind of it's own sometimes. I have learned to just do my best always. Keeping on track is just that...it should include being able to ride the bumps that come with this gig. I don't try to explain every odd bg that comes along - I'd be bonkers by now if I did. Rather, I deal with the oddities as they happen, and move on.

Oh, and I can't stand Starbucks so I don't have to worry about that bump!

8

I feel like you do about the running and its psychological benefits and resultant addiction. But..at least it's a "healthy" addiction" if you know what I mean.
Let's go Chicago!

9

I'm watching the Bulls game now, going through iTunes to build a better playlist for lifting heh heh heh...

10

My Playlist is an integral and sacred thing....do you like the Black Keys?

11

I've run into them but haven't pulled the trigger, although I don't recall why? My main "long run" playlist has like 800 songs on it. I already got yelled at for going way off topic several times recently but yeah, I love playlists!

12

The Black Angels are really good for running, throbbing tribal beats, maracas, tambourines and sleigh bells along with the dronier stuff. When they play live, they have a couple of miked floor toms and just pound on them and it comes through on their albums too...

13

Okay I am checking them out tonight. I am always in need of great music for my playlists. I have some other musical suggestions for you but I will post them on the marathon site so as not to go off topic and hijack Jen's original post!

14

I think my problem today is that I went from having 95% of readings in range yesterday to having 95% of readings above 200 today when I changed nothing. Very frustrating. Maybe it's just the internet, but I get the impression this isn't a common occurrence for many people (at least on this site). *sigh* I've gotten to a point where I don't care about the odd reading here and there that's high (heck, I'm doing awesome if I can go an entire day without hitting 200 at some point), but it's times when I go from a day that's been great to a day that's all highs that really irks me.

I definitely am PMSing which I think also has something to do with it (both my BGs and my frustration!). :)

I didn't end up drinking the Starbucks so that is good, but I've been stuck in the 300s for hours tonight and am finally down to the high 200s. I already bumped up all my settings, changed out infusion set and insulin, but I might do that again if I'm not somewhere under 200 by bedtime.

I feel like I've wasted this entire evening to testing and correcting my BG (and drinking water ...) when I have other things I'd rather be doing.

15

jen you are not the only one with days like this, monday jacob ran in the 300's most of the day i thought it was post easter fat but he ran high all day, he isnt aggressive about managing things at school just a test and bolus at lunch, well he came home from school with mod-large urine ketones but only .3 blood ( weird) anyways he was due to change his pod sometimes he can run high if his resevoir is running low, his canula looked kinked the culpret! so it was a very hard day! i find if he starts the day high is can be real hard getting him down especially in the morning, if it is a weekend a walk works well, i find lower level exercise sometimes works best for helping get him down. do you exercise? have you thought of doing a temp basal increase on a high day? sometimes i hesitate to reply back to adults on here with long standing D because i obviously dont have D, but i have three years experience with jacob and the desire to help others, i hope you are having a better day today, i feel your pain with the pms thing everything is worse! you are not alone, sending you a sense of calm and acceptance today amy

16

If it's a hormone thing, can you have a different "setting", cranking up your basal rate then? I got a new pump and one of the suggestions in the manual was to have a different "pattern" for those type of situations.

I was gonna ask too how the 10K plans are going? One thing about running is that I'm sort of inclined to think "as long as I'm running, who cares about diabetes?"

17

Personally...I sometimes have to just let myself go off track, have my "poor little me" moment and then get my butt back in gear once the mood has passed. The problem with T1D is there is often so much guilt. Keep in mind that someone without diabetes doesn't think twice about going into Starbucks and getting that drink. But we have to think about every single drop and morsel that passes through our lips. And sometimes, no matter how good we are, diabetes doesn't play fairly. I've had plenty of completely-unexplainable highs. It is beyond frustrating when you're high and have NO IDEA why.

So, yeah, I succumb to burnout. I'd probably have drank about half that drink, attempted to bolus for it, and then would get back on the wagon at dinner time.

Sometimes I just need an hour or two to pretend that diabetes doesn't exist.

18

Yep I do exercise most days. Yesterday I was running a +40% temp basal and I also to exercise, but exercising at 250 just feels horrible! I finally got so fed up at around 10:00 at night that I went on my bike for half an hour. I stayed up until about midnight doing corrections, and this morning woke up at 103. So who knows! Hopefully today will be better!

19

Yeah, already got the different pump settings covered. :) During those times I use basal rates that are 0.2 u/hr higher than other times, and I:C ratio and ISF are also higher. And usually I STILL run high so maybe I need to crank things up even more.

The run is on Sunday although it will probably be more of a walk or a walk-jog thing than a run. I'm signed up for the walking category although they don't care if you run, it just means the walkers start behind the runners. Should be fun! My number is 57,600-something and I registered a few months ago, so it would be cool if they break their record (60,000 people) again this year. I will be taking pictures so may post some here!

20

I think this post was my "poor me" moment. I did feel better after writing it, even though I remained high the entire rest of the day. I did end up drinking about half the drink (divided into two "snacks") and tossed the rest.