@meee, I am sending you a big hug!!
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Here’s another big hug from me, meee! 
️
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And me. 
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So much of health care is based on fear mongering: do as I say or you will die an excruciating death. You just have to do this, do that, stop eating this, that…
3 am in a hotel room I worry if I will be able to get my blood sugar above 40 or if the maid will find my corpse. If things don’t turn around, it won’t matter whether I had the mammogram, or the colonoscopy, or any of the other reasons I am considered noncompliant.
Threatening me with death only makes me distrust you more.
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Thanks for starting and keeping this conversation going.
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Hugs for everyone!!! 
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40 years, 5 months, and 15 days…T1D March 22, 1976- I was 12 and a half- I know what you’re talking about but there will be a day where you don’t recall what it is like not being T1D, or what is like not having to take medicine, etc…it is a crap sandwich we’ve been dealt but countless blessings to endure- I tell this to my daughter who is 16 now and was diagnosed at the same age- you set goals, overcome objectives, and set the example of enduring for the next new T1D… there are plenty of days where doing everything right will result in this disease winning, so make the days where doing everything right counts in being healthy and move forward- if it is the only life we get, make it count- I have quite the scrapbook now- cherished moments and more to come- ■■■■ on the complications- Enjoy life, and endure-
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The terrible part is anyone who has considered diacide has thought of using the very same thing that saves us to kill ourselves. A large dose of insulin.
And the terrible part of THAT is that it doesn’t necessarily work, and can leave you worse off than if it had. Claus von Bulow allegedly tried to commit murder that way, and his victim just ended up in a 28 year coma.
Instead of lamenting what we don’t have, why not cherish what we DO have? When I was diagnosed at age 12 – 50 years ago! – my doctor told my mother, “She will live to be 99 because she will eat healthy food, take care of herself, and exercise daily.” Am I forced to do that? Actually, no. I could deny reality and not take care of myself, but the result is that I will feel like crap and not enjoy life. So instead, I choose to remember the old adage, “Life is what you make it; always has been, always will be.” I choose to enjoy my life. I have millions of healthy, good-tasting food choices, I have the ability to walk or bike or swim or do whatever exercise I enjoy, and I have the loving support of my husband and family. My devastated mother of 50 years ago is now 93 and doing fine. She has watched me grow up, have a fulfilling career, marry, raise two wonderful daughters, retire, and enjoy a grandson. I don’t regret having a normal life because THIS IS MY NORMAL LIFE, and it is pretty wonderful as it is. Yes, I take medication, but so do most of the people I know at my age. I use a pump which has given me even more freedom to live what others may describe as a “normal” life. I watch what I eat, enjoy my walks and bike riding with my husband, and cherish the pleasures of life. Don’t envy others. Just do the best you can and enjoy YOUR life.
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Good point.
But it’s equally important to lament what deserves lamenting and to have those feelings validated.
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I never meant to suggest that those feelings were not valid. We all have had those maddening days when no matter what we do, our diabetes does not cooperate. And for those new to the condition, I can empathize that finding what a “new normal” is can be challenging, frustrating, discouraging, confusing, and sometimes downright painful. I agree that those are all legitimate feelings; we all have days when we just want to give up. However, I also know after 50 years that new developments will continue to make this condition easier to manage, and that if I love myself to take good care of myself (as everyone should!), that I will feel better and have a better outlook on life. I feel that I am leading a fairly normal life. I don’t make an issue of my diabetes; I just quietly take care of what I need to do to live a full, productive, positive life. I encourage others to do the same, and if those maddening days get you down, that is what the support of forums like this are all about.
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By definition diabetes is an autoimmune disease which literally means self-immune or in a broader sense, self destructive. Given the damage that unmanaged diabetes will cause to the human body, including, potentially, death, it is not surprising that many diabetics at some point in their life struggle with thoughts about "just ending it all’.
As someone who has experienced the loss of a loved one by suicide (she was manic depressive) all I can say is don’t. It is difficult to fathom the tremendous hurt, grief, guilt and other repercussions that a suicide has on people, including friends and family members, other than the one who dies, but those consequences are very real and should make anyone considering ending their life have second third or fourth thoughts before thinking about proceeding.
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I am glad I came upon this topic today. I have not been dealing with diabetes as long as most of the people in the chat but lately since my doctor said that my BS was doing good 5,9 on my last A1c I have been going crazy eating everything I know is not good for me… Since the medicine I take seems to be workin good for me right now and keeping my BS at a good level I am not doing all the things I need to do. Not checking my BS regularily, eating food I know is not good for me, not exercising, I was just wondering how other PWD keep themselves on track and if others feel that they don’t want to deal with it anymore and I found this topic. I don’t want to get the complications that can happen but right now it just doesn’t seem to be all that important. I guess I just want to be like I used to be and not have to be concerned with the diabetes, but I know that Diabetes is a progressive disease and I need to keep on top of it. It is nice to see that others have this issue from time to time.
“The first day we are born is the first day we begin to die.” - Benjamin Franklin
This was such an amazing response @Brian_BSC.
Thank you. Choosing to Live. Perfect words. ️
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that you’ve never thought of suicide, but depression and diabetes are not necessarily two separate things. Often times, those with a chronic illness also fall into depression.
…At times we aren’t even aware we are depressed. We also might not be fully aware that we are taking actions that will eventually move us into a grave faster.
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yes to this!
Absolutely luv what you wrote. It reminds me of a post on this site where many told a young girl that was struggling that the Big D will not stop her life. We can have kids. We can travel. We can hold full-time, well-paying, high-stress jobs if we want. She can go away to college. And yes…we can even eat a piece of cheesecake and take steps to correct ourselves later. 
i like to find inspiration from reading about others’ lives- people who have been faced with tragedy. by tragedy i mean that the situation they are in is unrelenting- there is no light at the end of the tunnel that will relieve their tragic circumstances except death. some in those situations find a way to continue with some sense of peace in their lives. when i think of those kind of extreme examples, it helps me deal with difficult things in my own life.
examples that i am thinking of are like a person with a cancer that has metastasized. they know they have little time left. how do they deal with that? my mom was in that situation. some people would go into denial- but my mom dealt with it by picking her grave site, taking into account the beauty of the area and if it would be at a convenient distance for family to visit, planning her funeral, down to choosing the menu for the lunch afterwards (she wanted the family to gather and enjoy the food). she took a trip to California with my sister even though her toes were blackened by side effects from chemo…she had to take Xanax to deal with the anxiety and morphine to deal with the pain. but she kept living in the midst of tragedy and tried to enjoy herself.
another example is the rugby team from Uruguay who had to eat the bodies of their dead teammates in order to survive. or parents who have children with cancer, or people whose spouses are slowly deteriorating from dementias… such tragedy- but some find a way to endure and still feel that life is worth living. i look to their examples.
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