really struggling with kennedy now, trying to pass off more responsibility to her but she is missing many of her boluses now, several a day. We need to come up with a plan. I have done her boluses at home up until now, but it's hard for her to switch back and forth, me doing some boluses for her and her doing the rest on her own. What have other parents tried that worked well to transition? I'm really scared to see what her a1c is in January. She is 13 now, and having a complete about face.
doesn't help that we can't sync her dexcom, sync not working now for past six weeks and they cannot fix the problem!! Finally to their head of tech tomorrow.
I just feel so helpless...I don't know how to help her.
We have struggled with our younger one for a few years now with this (he's almost 16)
So far, the best we have come up with is to have him bolus all of the time. If he is at home, we check the pump before he delivers the bolus (to be sure everything is entered correctly), if he's out of the house, I have him take a picture of his pump screen to verify what he is doing.
Total pain - but it's working and after a few months we have been able to lay off a bit. We try to be totally matter of fact about it all.
Teen years are really a challenge - our older son is now 18 and we don't have any of these issues so there's hope!
Hi Natalie, so sorry you are struggling. I guess my approach has always been to TRY to keep things light make his diabetes like brushing his teeth and getting dressed for school just wouldn't do without it. He is the first one up in the morning and, I start the day with the double beep listening to see how far apart those beeps are to guide his bs, I check when I am up afew minutes later, I log all his numbers in a book so I can see trends and adjust, he doesn't even go to the nurse at school he just does his thing again going to eat NEED insulin. at home especially super I tend to walk up to him where he is in the house pdm in hand have him test and tell him how many carbs and he usually puts his bolus in unless he wants me to, joke last night ha ha Jacob says I cant I'm a diabetic. so we are still a team, I check everything without it seeming like I am once in a great while he will forget a bolus but very rare. I think the overall attitude in the house and his responsible not a risk taker personality is well suited for diabetes compliance. There are days when I am not happy about his constant grazing, food choices, forgetting to prebolus but I try to step back and see myself in his shoes and try to let him make most of his decisions including those while he is away from me we have a good trust going and I complement him frequently on his good decision making, he knows if he has a major problem he will call me. I don't like the idea of instilling fear I choose to try to empower him yes it is a burden but he has no choice and I am so proud of him for living well with his diabetes. Just a suggestion if kennedy thinks its a good idea, take a break from the CGM?? one less thing to worry about for her esp if it is not working properly I know some people love the idea of CGM but if you were a child with diabetes would you like that constant reminder of what your bs was at every moment. She should know how her body tends to run now and should be able to adjust her boluses, food choices, temp basal ect around what she is doing so that she feels safe without always knowing her number. again no judgement there, just a thought, I hope things get better, maybe she isn't totally ready to 'take the reigns', she's got her whole life ahead, let her decide what is best, and if that is kind of pretending she is just a kid while you handle most of the management then that is her choice. keep it positive! amy
Anthony is 10 and I am very lucky that he is a strict rule follower. As much as I’d like to permanently stick to his side for the rest of my life or until we find a cure I have to accept that this is his diabetes and I have to let him own it. He checks his own blood sugar, he knows where his meter and supplies are, he does his own bolus. He is in charge of everything. If he needs to pad his bolus for high glycemic foods or extend it, we discuss how much and how long and decide together. Do I watch him like a hawk? Absolutely! But he doesn’t necessarily know how much. He has to be in charge. I would try letting her do everything. I hate diabetes. I want to do everything for him so my baby doesn’t have to burden. That’s now realistic as unfair as it is. Try giving her as much responsibility over it as possible so it becomes second nature. Kids are amazing. She’ll quickly learn that she’s not feeling well due to high numbers because she forgot to check or bolus and will become more adept at remembering simply to avoid the symptoms. Good luck to you! I hope things get better soon.
OK! So I am not the only parent walking around checking the pump to see if she has bolused or not? good. I find if I ask if she bolused, she will always say yes, whether she is listening or not! Easier just to look. we have done some texxting of screen shots and that does help with the dex thanks for the help!!
do you think jacob would mind kennedy to email or text him sometime? just for some moral support? I'd like her to find some good diabetes role models that can help her. She has some friends from d camp, but Jacob is a little older, right? Kennedy is 13 and 4 months.
We did loosen up the alarms on the cgm which helps quite a bit.
You are right the fear doesn't work and I just feel awful any time I use that tactic on accident. I regret it any time.
She did all of her boluses today and took care of herself all afternoon at home, and at a basketball game this afternoon.
What you said is exactly how I feel. I wanted to do everything for her to take the burdeon away for as long as I could, but now that she's 13, it's time for her to take more of the reigns. It's just a hard transition for us, and deciding who is going to do what and when! We need to work out a plan. when she's doing it, when I'm helping her ( like at night) Thanks!
Hi Natalie glad she had a better day! Is kennedy your first child if she is then Jacob and her definitely have something in common, First children tend to be overachievers, a tad selfish and like a lot of praise, to name a few traits I can think of, working with their psychology helps, Jacob definitely likes praise and I pile it on, appropriately of course but I feel the positive reinforcement helps to keep him on task. I will talk to Jacob about texting kennedy, he has always been pretty closed mouthed about this but it could clearly benefit him as well as he has never really shared with another person with type 1. i'll let you know, he is 15 now. I agree that sitting her down and deciding who does what, how she wants to handle things is a great idea and yes I almost always check to see if he has bloused, we also check up on the insulin on board feature with the new pump because sometimes he needs more insulin than the pump suggests, he might miss this part but is getting better. she doesn't need to know you are checking! the good thing about omnipod and the PDM! we are all doing the best we can, keep praising her about all non D accomplishments too, sometimes i think they think all we care about is their D control and numbers. Once Jacob said i only love him for his diabetes or something, that really stung, he knows that's now true but if it tends to dominate conversation i can see how they would feel that way. talk soon! amy
Use a reward system like ManageBGL, and use the points system to motivate them any way that makes sense to your family. $100 towards a car purchased after graduation, itunes vouchers, a new book or magazine subscription. The rewards and suggestions of how to earn more (e.g. eye tests, kidney and blood tests) are based on the UK's NICE guidelines, as well as on seeing your endo/dietitician/educator etc. Give it a try.
She should try to switch to doing all her boluses herself. Its gonna be a bumpy ride but its best for her. The diabetes center we go to in NYC tells us at 12 they should be responsible for all their testing and boluses thats their goal. My daughter, diagnosed at 12 is 15 and she is pretty self sufficient. I am an ICU Nurse , so it was pretty hard for me to back off when she got her pump at 13, but my endo encouraged me. Does she miss things yes, but as a teenager they have to self manage. I check her meter and scroll through it sometimes when she is home from school and ask her what her BG is at times and she tells us. I usually ask at the end of the day "how has your BG been today" and she will tell me. At 15 she is at school all day, does volleyball and is out and about with her friends alot of the time, so she is not around , so we have no choice but to let them self manage. she always tells me when she has a low immediately even when she is in school , she will text me and tell me how she treated it. Teenage years are tough as they struggle with lots of stuff. My endo tells me that its hard to get their AIC's in as good of a place before they hit puberty because of everything they are dealing with, physical and emotional. Good luck hope the transition goes well.
My son is in college now but went through a time where he would not test or bolus when he was eating with friends. He wanted to act normal and would not test or bolus until he was on his way home sometimes an hour after eating. His #s were horrible.
His CDE finally got him to admit it and came up with a plan. He would test in his car before going inside to eat but would take his Omni controller in his pocket and bolus while eating under the table. We emphasized that if he would not bolus, he could not go. But, we were secretly pulling for him because for the first year after diagnosis, he had no social life he was so self conscious.
They do finally grow into their own. I was surprised to learn that my son gave several of his College Communication speeches on diabetes and his last and longest "Greatest Invention" Speech on the Omnipod and the upcoming Bionic Pancreas.
My friend just shared her battle with her teenager with the same issues you share and she shared that I may go through this when my son begins his teen years. I guess sharing and showing our kids the dangers they put themselves through when they don't take care of themselves may help. I know that I've tried to talk to my son but it's like he doesn't hear me sometimes. I want to help my friend also but don't know how. I will read all the comments here and hopefully someone's experience will help us. All we can do is love, support and encourage our kids to love themselves enough to do the right thing.
