So what do Diabetes and Chaos theory have to do with each other? Well I have decided my word in the hand is: Chaos. Why?
There is hidden somewhere an eerie type of order in diabetes…but it is a very deep and hard order to find. I am convinced it will be found, I think a cure depends on it. Even in things that look perfectly ordered, chaos can lurk behind the scenes. (I recommend James Gleick’s books on Chaos for those who are interested in exploring chaos theory. His Chaos Theory books are on par with Richard Feynman’s physics books. Yeah I am a geek—like quantum physics too—if you haven’t seen “What the Bleep” you should)
So let’s see…Type 1, Type 2, Type 1.5, subcategories of those and yet undefined unlabeled types of diabetes. The bad diabetes—there is no such thing to me—they are all bad. They can have different treatments. But they all are 7X24 jobs. No vacations from the (D)iabetes.
All of them can be unpredictable, just because you got one result yesterday, does not mean you will get the same today. It is a constant balancing act. Do some people have it worse…yes, but that doesn’t mean this is easy. The ‘D’ is HARD work no matter what kind you have.
Dietician, clinician, nurse, researcher, educator and, oh and mathematician(I don’t mind this so much as a number freak—but some people absolutely hate math-yes they had crappy math teachers-different rant!)! We have to be all of these. And so do supportive family members.
Just how much insulin wasn’t delivered because of all those bubbles, or that reservoir leak…and what is my IOB really…and when I do a shot because of all this I know the IOB is wrong…I have to account for that insulin tail in my head…as well as how hot it is, what is my stress level, (is my boss a jerk about diabetes, did I just have a run-in with the diabetes police-yes I can eat that!, my BG is sky high and I have no idea why-yep no keytone test strips left-drat!) and on and on. That’s on a normal day, and if you’re sick…well it just gets more complicated. Teenager with raging hormones, youngster with a growth spurt, pre-menopausal woman…yep those complicate it too.
What number is too high, too low, who can I teach to give Glucagon before the ambulance gets here…oh hell, what else have I forgotten to tell someone that is important. Or didn’t tell them because I have been made to feel ashamed of the disease I have by judgmental people who haven’t a clue?
I could go on forever, but I don’t think it would be additive…I think (hope) the point is already made.
So if this post is a bit chaotic—for those of you who have diabetes you already get it- for those of you who don’t–welcome to a taste of a day in a life of a diabetic!
And who am I…a woman, a wife for 32+ years with a great supportive husband, a mother, a daughter, soon to be a grandma, loyal worker at my company for 11 years, a daughter, a quilter, a jewelry maker, a human being…and yep a diabetic.