I understand your plight, but like the others who have commented here, sometimes our plans aren’t necessarily the best plan. Please don’t look at the overall scheme as a failure, because your young, and you have plenty of time to figure out what your niche is. Let me share a short story with you.
I was raised in a dysfunctional family–my parents were very abusive. At the age of 16 I got drunk for the first time, at the age of 17 I was smoking pot, and by the time I was 18 years old, I was sticking needles in my arms strung out on amphetamines. I didn’t have a clue what I wanted out of life, and in my current condition what ever it was, it was never going to happen. I wound up in the U.S Navy, because I was constantly in trouble. Needless to say, I didn’t fair much better in the Navy, because I had huge problems with authority figures. I eventually wound up in a military pen, and it was in that place that I finally began to take an honest look at my life. But I still didn’t know what I wanted out of life.
Anyway to make a long story short, I got out of the Navy in 1980 with a Bad Conduct Discharge. I worked as an auto mechanic for the next 30 years, and hated it (it was what my father had done). In 2002 my family and I took a vacation to the Chattanooga, Tennessee area. We fell in love with the people and the country side. We went home and sold our house and moved to Ooltewah, Tennessee. My job didn’t pan out like it was supposed to–I was making about half what I was making in Texas, and I became very discouraged.
I eventually wound up in College and it was there I decided God had called me to the ministry. I graduated in December 2006 with a BA in Theology. I received a call to pastor two churches in southern Georgia and was put on the payroll two weeks before I graduated. I have been in south Georgia ever since.
The point is, we don’t always get to choose, what, when, or how its all going to happen, but we have to believe that there is a greater force at work in our lives, and it ain’t us. My very best got me locked up. Things happen for a reason, and we don’t always get to know the answer to that either. But if we’re persistent and patient, it will eventually work out, and one day we can look back and say "I understand."
I wish my life had been different, but it wasn’t. I wish I had tried out for the Navy Seals, but that was something else I failed to that I wanted to do, I wish I had gone to college when I was young, but I wasn’t ready–I never would have made it. I wish I had never been diagnosed with Diabetes, but I was. I was 50 years old when I graduated from College, and I had children that were older than the other students in my class, but I made the best of it. About a year and a half before I graduated I was diagnosed with Diabetes, and I was devastated. It was just another negative in my liife, and I knew it was going to take away everything I had worked for. But I determined in my heart I wasn’t running away and I wasn’t backing up. I bought a mountain bike and started exercising like a mad man. I changed my eating habits and lost 22 pounds. When I graduated from College I have two younger children my wife and I adopted as babies and they were there to see me graduate.
I have had my share of challenges since then, and some days I absolutely hate having Diabetes, but I understand its here to stay. Someday it may well put an end to my ministry, but not today. I refuse to let it get the best of me. I refuse to let it define who I am, and I will not go down without a fight.
I don’t write these things to tell you what a success I am, because I don’t view my life that way. There have been more failures in my life than successes. I write these things to encourage you. There is something for you to do, and in time you will discover exactly what it is. When you go to College take all the academic stuff first, because it may be that in time you will know exactly what it is you are supposed to do, and it may not be at all what you thought it was. Don’t beat yourself up because you didn’t get to fulfill your dream in the military. Put the past behind and press forward to what ever it is that awaits you. Your family will still love you, and they will understand, and we here at Tudiabetes will love you too. One day you will look back and you too will say, “I understand.” Do not let Diabetes rule your life, rather live your life and learn from the Diabetes, but always press forward, leaving the past behind.
Good luck to you, my friend. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.
Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Bobby D. Weldy