A Sister's Goodbye

I wrote this for my older brother, Joshua Caleb we were just 14 months apart and were reffered to as twins by most. He was diagnosed with type 1 when he was 11, and he passed away last febuary from ARDS and hypoglycemia due to medical malpractice while in the hospital being treated for pneumonia. His death has made a huge impact on my life, and I miss him more everyday. It has taken this long to forgive myself and to let go of guilt, but he is in a better place not suffering from down syndrome, hypothyroidism or diabetes any longer. He was the best big brother I could asked for, and I will always miss him

In Loving Memory 3.29.91-2.9.09

From day one, without knowing it. I loved you with all my heart.
As i grew older I looked up to you and to no other.
Yes, we fought many of times, but you supported me in everything i did.
You were my best friend and my hero.
At night i miss the sound of your music.
I miss your comfort and the way you made me feel safe.
I miss our nonsense arguements and all our wrestling matches just to pass time.
I like to remember our times together, good times and bad.
I regret the times i yelled at you when you were only trying to help.
But you know i only did it, because you did it to me.
I wanted to everything you did,
because i wanted to be JUST like you!
I miss your smile,
and I miss the way your room smelt of your cologne.
But most of all, I miss your reassuring hugs and playful kisses.
I wish i could go back and tell you how i felt, tell you that i really need you no matter what i said.
I will always love you, no matter how long it's been,
since the day your life came to an end.
I miss my big brother,
and will to the very end.

A big HUG… I am so sorry for your loss… I lost my dad to Diabetes, and I miss him so much, every day, but you are right… they are in a better place now. It is because of him, and for him, that I take good care of myself… Hang in there.

It’s just hard for me, knowing that if I had been awake with him, he wouldn’t have passed. I mean, maybe his passing was meant to be, but in our technical world it was ruled preventable. I am so sorry about your dad! I never met my dad, but my step dad can be pretty cool at times.

You have my sincere sympathy in the recent loss of your Brother. He was only 18? Way too soon gone.

The poem that you wrote could be perfectly written by me for my Youngest Brother(Type 1) who was 2.5 years older than me. He died in 2005 and although his leaving has become easier, there are still times when I miss him soooo Bad. When we were younger everyone thought that he and I were the Twins also, although it was my older Brother(Type 1-died in 2003) and my Sister who were actually the Twins.

It is still so early, let yourself grieve for your Wonderful Brother. It will get easier. You know that he loved you Dearly. Thank you for writing this Wonderful and meaningful poem.

Sweet child, I’m so sorry for your loss. This letter is so touching yet a lesson to be told. To love no matter what, because once it’s gone all you have is memories. Thank you for reminding me of this lesson. Patti

Yeah… mom had said something that the doctors gave him the wrong medication for blood pressure? don’t remember correctly – but that some test came out not accurate, because he was stressed out, and whatever it was they did, caused his kidneys to fail… so he had to struggle like that for 2 1/2 years, before he passed… It’s very hard trying not to be angry… But you are in my thoughts, and prayers… It’s okay to feel upset.

He was almost 18.

So sorry about your loss. You have a wonderful poem.

Oh Honey, I am so sorry for your heartache and loss. I know how you feel, I lost my bother 20 yrs ago. I miss him and think of him often. Memories have become a comfort to me now. As they will for you. What a beautiful sister you are, you were loved by him as much as you loved him. Wishing your heart and soul peace.

I’m sorry for your loss beautiful words

I am so sorry for your loss. Your brother was so fortunate to have a little sister who admired him, adored him, looked to him for inspiration. I know that he must have admired, adored, and looked to you, his little sister, for inspiration even when you might not have thought it possible. The love you shared is apparent in your heartfelt words. One paradox in life is: when you love so much you feel so much joy, and you feel so lucky to feel it. Yet when you love so much and feel so much joy and that light from a soul departs, the pain and tremendous feeling of loss is just as devastating as the joy was elating to us. Why is life filled with such highs and such lows? I am glad you have the courage to share your joy and your pain with us here. A big hug to you.

All of us here being diabetic, I just want all of you to know, that Doctors are amazing people, and they do amazing things for us, But they are not always right. If anything ever seems out of place or just not right with your care, please, please fight for what you so deserve. Joshua was nonverbal and was unable to wake me and tell me he couldn’t breathe or that he needed juice, But WE can know, and do know when something is not right, us not paying attention and advocating for him cost him his life, and a year of lawsuits and reliving every second of resuscitation, something I hope none of you never have to see, so for him, advocate for your health. Do not ever give up on something you believe is right or wrong.

Im so sorry for your loss…Im sure your brother will always be in your heart…and he will always look after you.

What wonderful things to say and feel about your brother. It is obvious you loved and cared for him in a very special way and I believe he definitely knew it. I lost my older brother to cancer a year ago Feb 24. I wrote and read his eulogy and I’m glad I did as hard as it was. I wish you peace, comfort and happiness.

So beautiful I am sorry about your loss and by your sweet words the memory of your brother comes awake.
I hope your ok and rememeber we are all here for you.

I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad recently, very suddenly to a blood clot. I often wonder, could something have been done to prevent it or was it just meant to be. I miss him everyday as you do your brother. Sounds like you and your brother had a great relationship. Luckily you have good memories to live by. Best wishes to you and your family!

That is heartbreaking and beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss.

Awww Rachemoon…I’m so very sorry for your loss. What love you have…I pray that time will not erase, but simply make it less painful for you and your family.

Loving Tribute and so sorry for your loss