For whatever reason, I’m in a down mood today about other people just not getting it. And I’m completely conflicted about the entire thing.
On the one hand, should I be so concerned that they “get it.” It’s not their disease, should they really be burdened with just how complicated it really is? Do they really want to hear me talk about diabetes all the time? Is it even appropriate with people you’re not extremely close to (people other than immediate family, partners, and best friends)? I mean, what did I know about diabetes before I was diagnosed? Not a lot. But here’s the catch that bothers me: the judgments and assumptions.
This is where I go on the other hand. On the other hand, should I not inform people correctly when they assume false things?
- When they assume all diabetics are like a certain subset of type 2s. They don't know what type 2 even is, mind you, but they believe if only I didn't eat cookies ever I'd be fine. Or if I would only lose weight.
- Or when they realize I'm not quite like their older type 2 friends and therefore assume that because I am using an insulin pump that I'm completely out of control and extremely fragile.
- When they think I gave myself diabetes from eating sugar.
- When they think that because I'm on a pump my blood sugar will be completely even all day every day. (Though I will give people who can even progress to this level of thinking credit for it.)
- When they think I can't eat a tiny piece of chocolate, but a huge 150g carb meal of fried food is totally fine.
- When they say eating said tiny piece of chocolate is CHEATING.
- When they always make a huge deal out of including special "sugar-free" options for me at social gatherings, even though I've already tried to explain that they don't need to do this.
- When you personally know some type 2s who think nearly all of the things listed above and know virtually NOTHING about their own disease. And because they think these things, it's near impossible to convince other people around them otherwise.
- When said type 2s see you bolus for a cookie and call that CHEATING.
Is it wasted efforts? I’ve tried to explain the sugar / carb situation to people before and received blank stares followed by a story about their elder type 2 friend.
It’s frustrating. And I feel that I gripe about the existence of type 2 diabetes in rants like this. I feel for well-informed type 2s because they have to put up with this crap just as bad, if not worse because I really feel like the public puts a lot of guilt on type 2s.
But at the same time, I am so ■■■■■■■ sick of people thinking I’m (and well, all diabetics really) are like a certain subset of type 2s. I say it that way, as I realize there are many thin type 2s, heavier type 2s, in the middle type 2s. Younger and older type 2s. There are many insulin dependent type 2s, type 2s on pills, type 2s who can control with diet and exercise. There is a wide variety. But the general public’s opinion fits a certain (truly non-existent) mold, and damn it, I HATE that mold.
I guess part of my problem is that I used to be oblivious to other opinions of this nature. I think when I was younger, I didn’t come across it as much, and I sometimes entertain this theory that young people understand more because 1) they’re more likely to have come across another type 1 in school, and 2) they weren’t alive during the stupid years when everyone thought sugar was the devil for diabetics.
I have noticed that nearly all my problems with misconceptions are with people age 50 and up. Is it because they lived during a time when so little was known about diabetes other than sugar = bad? OR, is it because it is often the case that older people are more comfortable talking about a disease like diabetes and therefore more likely to confront me about it?
Or maybe I was just really ridiculously naive when I was diagnosed and didn’t notice other peoples’ ignorance on the subject.
Whatever the case may be, I find myself lately both regretting I ever told people I was diabetic and also wanting to scream it out loud and go on a twenty minute rant to every poor-assuming person I come across about what diabetes, particularly type 1, is all about.
I also often wish type 1 diabetes had a new name that did not include the word diabetes at all, and no word associated with it could be SUGAR.
Maybe I’m just especially neurotic this morning. Most of the time I can get over it, really.