Advice for Struggling Diabetic

I do things that a diabetic is not supposed to do like not checking my blood sugar for days and then wing how much insulin that I take. I seem to be pretty consistent on my Lantus dosages 30 at 630am and 30 at 1100pm. Though that’s also because my husband gets it for me. I don’t eat like I am supposed to, though I hardly eat anything at all. I am 5’10" and only weigh 136. My doctor hasn’t said anything about my weight but my family is starting to notice the weight change.

I get really sick and then I straighten up for awhile by checking like I am supposed to and then I seem to slip back into the other form. I haven’t figured out how to stop this from happening. I have diabetic peripheral neuropathy and am on a captopril for my kidney function though nothing has showed up on the tests only lots of protein being shot out of my kidneys. I take 1800 mg gabapentin for the neuropathy, 50 mg of Trammadol (Ultram) 3 times a day, and have rescue lortab for really bad nights at 5mg every 4 hours as needed.

I want to change this but am struggling on how to stay checking my blood sugar like I am supposed to, taking my insulin like I am supposed to, and trying not to get other complications. Any help and advice would be appreciated. I was wondering about a wellness coach and wondered if anyone has had or has one them?

Here’s the kicker. I’ve been diabetic for 8 years going on 9 years in October 2009. My mom says that she wishes that I was diagnosed younger than I was. I was diagnosed 16 during my junior year of high school and it was also the week of homecoming. Probably one of the most devastating things that happened to me.

All help and advice is greatly appreciated.

Hello Cherise!

Unfortunately, there is no cookie cutter motivational tool that you can use to motivate yourself to take care of yourself. Everyone must find their own driving force to deal with diabetes. It all comes back to what you value as important in your life, and your desire to see your long term goals and dreams come to fruition. From a quick look at your profile, I saw that you’re young, married, and an artist;perhaps growing old with your husband, seeing your art work attain a level of fame, or raising children and starting a family are all dreams you hope to obtain. You need to keep these things in mind when you think about your diabetes care. Remember, not checking your blood sugar doesn’t mean that its not a problem; the more often you check and the sooner you can correct for values, the better your overall control will be, and the less likelihood you will have of running into further problems.

Good luck to you, I really hope everything works out for the better!

I don’t know where to begin. You’re taking large amounts of painkillers daily, you hint at anorexia, and you know how to control your diabetes but you admit you do not want to, in so many words. No “wellness coach” is going to solve your problems. I think you need to get to the bottom of the psychological issues motivating your present behaviors and address those while you get back into a routine of checking your blood glucose, eating, and taking the right amounts of insulin.

It may help you to pick up a new meter, perhaps something that can test on alternate sites such as the Freestyle. The “newness” of the device and a relief for your fingers may provide enough motivation to get you started at least monitoring your blood glucose levels.

Personally, I found that committing myself to technologies like an insulin pump and continuous glucose monitoring system, and new drugs for Type 1s like Symlin, things that require more effort on my part to implement, these things kept me more focused than I otherwise would have been. They tend to payoff exponentially when you get the quarterly report card from your doctor. But honestly, I don’t think you’re ready for this approach. Like I said before, you appear have some emotional and perhaps other psychological issues that need to be addressed before you will be able to muster up the immense amount of strength it takes to manage Type 1 successfully.

quick answers: transform negative energy into something positive or constructive, fight back, take control of your life because that is the best revenge when it comes to beating diabetes. When you fall down, pick yourself back up. Use your anger to make change. All that wasted energy all stressing over what your doing wrong needs to change into facing what you have to do, even if you have to kick and scream to make yourself do something.,kick and scream then do it. Realize that nobody is perfect, that we all have bad days, but we have to keep on trying because we want to live long healthy lives. Somebody asked me once if i wanted to die, and i said no, so if i don’t want to die then what’s stopping me from living? Be prepared, re educate yourself. and find the strength to overcome your stubbornness. No it’s not easy, and believe me i’m very stubborn, but we have to try because we’re all getting sick of being sick and watching our lives pass by. Being a bad diabetic is like being suicidal, we hurt the ones around us and we fade away. My denial lets me eat whatever I want because i feel angry that i can’t, i get depressed because i know what i should do and i get depressed that i can’t be like everybody else, so therefore you feel guilty for being bad. I guess the real battle is trying to find normalcy with what you have to do, and not let it tie you down. In the end we must mimic a HEALTHY body to the best of our ability, and of course letting out our emotions so that we can do better for ourselves. Because i know i’ll always wonder “why me,” and get angry, but i also try to direct that energy to more positive me. Realize that diabetes isn’t your end all label, take control of it and become person who just happens to have diabetes. Working on this for the rest of your life is a daunting task, it’s not like we can switch are brains automatically. Just like everybody else that struggles to live healthy and good, we shall to. That little number on your meter doesn’t define you as a person, it’s reference to bettering yourself and preparing yourself for the future.You have to accept that you can’t change everything, but the things you can can impact our health the most. Sometimes we have to force ourselves to move on and do what we have to do, through trial and error, you can take control of your life. it’s the best revenge.

Domo! The last sentence of your post reminds me of the R.E.M. song “Living well is the best revenge” - seems very apt!

i’m trying to make my motto up so far i got "Living your life and taking control of it is the best revenge “(in reference to diabetes)
I also like this quote!
Razors pain you… Rivers are damp… Acide stains you… And drugs cause cramp… Guns aren’t lawful… Nooses give… gas smells awful… You might as well live.” – Dorothy Paker, “Resume”