I was dxd 4 yrs ago T2, then about 2 yrs ago with LADA. I have been on insulin for two years, the last 15 months or so on omnipod.
Here's the deal. I don't know what my problem is, but I can't seem to CONTROL this thing! I forget to test, forget to bolus, eat wrong things -- all as if it won't REALLY make any difference. I *know* this isn't true, but I think somehow in my heart of hearts I am not *believing* this. I think at the base of my problem is that I don't really believe anything is going to particularly WORK, as I frequently have different results with the same situations. I know this isn't news to anyone reading this.
I have had spells where I have done really well, but I sit amazed when I read all the diabetics on TuD that control their diabetes consistently.
I need to FIX this before I start having real trouble. I've gained quite a bit of weight, have developed plantar fasciitis, and no other big symptoms as far as I know. My A1Cs have been in the high 7s for the last year.
Is there someone out there with a great locker room speech, or know of a great book that speaks to motivation or success or something? Over the next eight months my oldest daughter and her husband are having our first grandchild, my second daughter is getting married, my older son is graduating high school and heading to college, and there are two more kids after that keeping me hopping! I cannot just fade to black, and I feel like that is what is happenning.
REALLY, I am trying not to whine, and I know this is my fault, but my head is kind of swimming at this point and I would love a fresh input of encouragement. Have any of you kind of FINALLY gotten with the program somehow? How'd you do it and how did you stick with it?
OK, maybe I am whining, but I really want to make some changes!
How about some mixed metaphors and other stuff thrown in?
You are running a marathon, so don't expect to be able to run like the hare and finish the race.
Start out with the basics and work from there. Can't remember to test/bolus/eat "wrong" things? Pick one thing and do it for 21 days (aka 3 weeks). Studies have shown that repeating an action for 21 days is a significant key in developing a habit.
An example would be to test every morning @ 7AM. Set an alarm, tell your boyfriend, husband, neighbor, vagrant, etc so that you wake up every day at the appointed time with your testing device on your nightstand and TEST! Expand from there by placing your focus on the positive, while throwing out the negative.
Here's my hard core motivational speech. All fluffy sweetness discarded. A zillion people on this site will kill you with kindness. Very few will provide this:
Here's a simple test. It's borrowed from Robert Mager, researcher in education and training:
If someone put a pistol to your head, could you manage your diabetes? Could you remember under threat of life? Of course you could. If you are not managing it now (but know how according to the test above), then you have a motivation problem, you're lazy, you're addicted to crappy food, or you can't postpone gratification. Or a combination of these factors, and a few more thrown in.
Nobody is going to fix your problem for you. And the simple fact is you are killing yourself slowly. Your choice, and a pretty poor one. So - even though you know what to do, you choose not to. Review these facts. Think long and hard about which way you want things to go. Then fix it. Or don't. Your choice.
You forget to test? You've been on the OmniPod for 15 months? Forgetting to bolus? You are deep into denial. Your feeling that it basically doesn't work is a kind of a cop out. There are so many things that affect us and our glucose levels. Just because you don't get the same results twice doesn't mean it's not working. It means that maybe you had a stressful morning or you're upset about something.
You gotta make a plan. The discipline for this comes only from you. You're on a pump already so you've got what it takes. The OmniPod will let you set a test reminder. Do it. Have you read "Using Insulin" by John Walsh? Give it a read. It was the thing that got me doing this thing right. Once I started doing it right, I found that it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be and that I didn't feel deprived of anything. You can do just about anything in moderation.
But it has to start with you. I have to endorse what Joe said. He said it plainly. You do have to make your choice, if you make the choice to not take care of yourself, you are going to have a lot of gall bitching about poor eyesight and failing kidneys.
Thank you folks. You are all exactly right In my own defense, I DO actually test -- 4-6 times a day really. I do bolus at times, but my eating schedule is very erratic and I think "gosh I'm eating now and I didn't bolus 15 mintues ago". I am not a total diabetes deadbeat, but I'm having trouble sorting it out and making it work. Clearly, I need to find a way to put my health first, before the 5 kids, the full-time job, the oblivious friends and family members (not my kids - they are awesome). Sometimes I think I've read too MUCH - Bernstein, Atkins/Vernon, ADA, dLife, the John Walsh books, etc. etc. I would like to get that gun-to-my-head kind of motivation, because that's an accurate picture of what this disease does to us. If *I* were talking to me, I"d probably sound a lot like Joe. Everytime I read a good piece on "complications" I feel motivated, but you can't stay hysterical forever. So I guess I'm asking, what does motivation look like day by day? My D may be more or less hard to control than someone else's - I don't know. But you are exactly right. It's my call. The fix for this is all in our hands. No surgeon or oncologist or cardiologist is going to improve our situation. It's not that kind of situation. Ok, see, now I'm peptalking myself. I think I'm going to go pedal my exercycle for awhile... thanks for the kind, tough words!!! Mwahhh!
I'm a Type 2, and not a LADA... But I tell myself that I need to do the things that I don't want to do, so that I can do the things that I do want to do... I focus on the things I want to live for... and the people who would be so sad and angry, if I wasn't there, or able to enjoy life with them. I also focus on forgiveness a lot -- forgiveness for myself, for failing here and there -- and I make it a habit to get back up again immediately, and not overthink it, because if I do, I'll never get back up again... because overthinking things can get overhwelming, or tiring, or scary... So I just do it... do it and not think about it. That's how I keep pushing through... If I make it as mindless as brushing my teeth, then I can do this thing.
Rebecca, have you not also heard us complaining about how sick we are of this constant math and worrying about what we eat and what happens when we exercize too much or accidently bolus too much? It gets exhausting! And, if you didn't have moments of feeling overwhelmed, you wouldn't be a mom, and you wouldn't be a diabetic. You are not expected to be perfect, just try your best. Also, you may still be making insulin, so that is an impossible thing to get perfect, if you still are, so really give yourself a break.
Oh, and plantar fasciitus sucks! Stretch those achilies tendons, numerous times a day, or what your dr recommends. I feel for you.
Remember, the better your sugars, the better you will feel, and the more you will enjoy everything. The best motivation for me comes from people I love, because the more I focus on my health, the longer I get to share my life with them. If you ever start to feel like life is taking over and your health is being compromised, you need to take a step back and take a little time for yourself. Give yourself a few 5 minute timeouts to catch your breath (mentally, emotionally, whatever).
When my mom was dying and living with me, I was the sole caregiver and I was totally overwhelmed. I started doing crossword puzzles and sodoku. I would take a puzzle book with easy crosswords so I didn't have to think. I always had a puzzle book hidden in the bathroom. Maybe my mother thought I had some digestive issues, but I didn't care. My mind could go almost completely blank for 3 to 5 minutes, and I stayed sane. Then she died, and I lost the sanity for a while, but that was how I coped. Cheaper than a shrink.
Here's what works for me sometimes. It's the parent thing. I can't take care of anybody or be there for them if I don't take care of myself first!!!! I didn't do the Type 2 to LADA, nope straight to Type 1 at 52. My goal that also helps me is I want to see my new granddaughter finish College (she's about 10 mos now). LOL I Will Get There!!!!!
Well, I had a bad depression, and neglected my diabetes management and went into a coma. That was encouragement enough for me to get back on the horse. I never want to do that again!
Part of it is caring for yourself first, just so you can properly care for others. (I know 5 kids and a husband take a lot of energy), and having the self-discipline to do the things that you need to, in spite of not WANTING to. One technique is to promise yourself at bedtime that you are going to do such and such things tomorrow -- and those things are your diabetes care. I find promises to myself are very effective -- especially for things I don't particularly want to do.
The other thing is not to let a bad day discourage you from doing better tomorrow. Each day is a day unto itself, and you get a fresh chance to do it right.
And finally, check out your emotions on this topic. Sometimes emotions get in the way, and sometimes, a psychologist or therapist can help.
