When I was a wee lad my mother once said to me,son nothing in this life is for free,you reap what you sow,and in time bad memories do fad,sadly that source of wisdem passed away some years ago and although my relationship with my mother was not good and I often ended up on the other end of her hand giving me a good thrashing you only get one mother in this life,my body is so full of drugs there days 13 different medications for prostrate,heart failure diabetes and now gout it is a miracle I can get out of bed some mornings is this any sort of life I often ask myself,on the plus side are my children all 5 of them love them to bits and our 4 grandchildren soon to be 5 who have given me second breath my Angel who has stood by me for 47 years when I was fast going downhill with no breaks or reaching for the Moon on a big ladder finding it was still out of reach.
You can be surrounded by loved one's and still feel totally alone depression does that to you at times,was I ever the fun loving person you find at parties confident self assured and out going the answer is a big NO, it was a case of putting on a brave face sometimes a blushing face if a woman looked my way,your home environment the love you get as a child and parents who want only the best for you I am sure provides some of the qualities in life you need, sadly most of us never get any of those things yout parents are more concerned about themselves to give the child what they really crave for love and a cuddle now and then,I canonly speak for myself I am sure my brother and sisters would tell you a different story, I do know one thing becoming sick and not able to fend for yourself is a demining life when your home is falling to bits around you and you cannot mend it like you use to when you are short of breath and your grandchild wants to play more,when some days you cannot get up the stairs or get out of bed or sleep because of pain cannot be good for the body never mind my soul.
Since getting diabetes in 1995 or was it 1996 and having ta heart attack in 2004 getting prostrate problems in 2006 and gout this year my life Jim as we know it has never been the same,you try to deal with the physical and mental problems and condition illness or disease you have and true some of use do deal with it and live an almost normal life but I am not one of those lucky persons,I do not hacve the character stamina or the will power to lead any sort of normal life,so mom you were right you reap what you sow and only time will tell,it is wonderful that wise men passed this way and forsight is a gift not many of us have, and knowing what is good for you is a gift not may have sorry about the spelling spell checker still on the sick list, all i want for Christmas is to be fit and well is that too much to ask.