Diagnosis

I've had my share of heart breaks
Of times I've watched people I loved walk away
The loss of my children brought a pain so deep
I struggled years to make a new way.

I grew up care free,
A true free spirit at heart
You couldn't tell me right from wrong
My mind and soul would never part

I always seen the best in every problem
Answers and solutions were like my best friends
For every tear you had to shed
I was finding a reason for those to end

Ive always had big dreams,
you couldn't tell me I was weak
When life has hit me hard each time
I'm always the first to speak.

I'm always the first to stand up
Because my mother taught me I should for what I believe
I refused to be just another face
So I made sure I was always true to me

When I lost my boys,
I spiraled really down hill
My mind was weak, my heart was broke
What I thought.. I did not know

It took me time, but I finally stood
As tall as I could stand
I forgave my past, I opened my heart
And I realized I needed no man.

I worked too much, forgot to play
Life was about a more harsh struggle
To find a new day

The yawns, the coughs, all the times
I felt that I was sick,
I thought I over worked myself
Told myself to get over it

I refused to be weak again,
because that didn't get me far in life
I'm not a complicated creature at all
I just wanted more then to be someones wife.

My life has honestly been quite simple
I've just always done as I pleased
Never felt any consequences
Until the doctor said "Diabetes"

I felt my head spiral
"No, this couldn't be me"
I should of listened as my body screamed
"What you're doing is hurting me."

I've never been more determined to fix
Something that I just can't help.
My whole life changed in one second
My whole thought process became hell

I've never been more scared of
actually dealing with something
But I have no choice,
this is what they are telling me.

I have to change so much about me
That I wasn't prepared to see
Time for me to take a break from over working
Time to concentrate on me.

My body has been yelling
"Amanda, you're hurting me"
But I didn't understand until the doctor said
"Ms ORiley, you have Type 2 Diabetes"

Amanda…very touching… BE STRONG and keep your head up. I been a diabetic for 23 years and have had my ups and downs literally but have always had the support of family and friends . YOU CAN MAKE IT…