Oh. My. Stars.
Last night I had THE WORST anxiety attack of my life. I’ve been taking any anxiety medication for about 2 years now. I have also been taking sleeping aids to help me fall asleep at night. When you take one and not the other, the balance can somehow explode like it did last night.
I’m normally on generic Effexor, 2x/day. I’ve been taking that regularly. I am also prescribed Xanex for those times I feel I’m having a panic attack. Well, I’ve been out of Xanex for about 3 weeks now, and was using it about 2-3x/wk. So you could imagine my level of worry, pure panic and anxiety!
At about 11:45 I took a sleeping aid, generic for Ambien and went into bed. I started to feel extremely nauseous and then quickly became wide awake and worried as to why I was nauseous. I checked my BG and it was 150. I was sure happy with that, especially going to bed. So, it wasn’t my BG. My mind started RACING, trying to figure out if the sleeping pill I took was a good idea. For some reason I thought I had forced myself into an overdose of Ambien. I had taken the (1) pill when I wasn’t tired, at all.
Given the fact that I was already worried about…well…a lot lately, not having xanex to comfort me caused me to experience an ugly anxiety/panic attack. My head started getting really warm. It felt like it was swelling up. My body became rushed with warmth and tingly. My mind was taking over my very small ability to rationalize. It had been 2 hours now, since I took that first, and only, sleeping pill…and I still wasn’t asleep. That worried me so much! I started freaking out! Thinking, this medication is messing with my brain and its functions.
I was able to call on my Lord and Savior for help in calming my every nerve that was now, causing me to shake. I started singing, to myself, worship songs that popped into my head. I tried all that I could to keep my eyes focused on Jesus, and the comfort and love I feel through music. My husband, now asleep, did all that he could at the time to calm me, which was holding me hand and drawing near to me. It’s all that I know that will help me. Words and rationalizing are the last two things to help me.
Well I finally fell asleep…I’m alive! And…I made it through the storm. …W/O xanex. Can you believe it? I can’t!
For someone who struggles with Anxiety and Diabetes, I would love to hear from you. It makes me question, Do you deal with Anxiety? Do you think it derives from your experiences with Diabetes?
Cheers!
~Katherine