I was in pretty much the EXACT same situation you're in. Xander and I were both so unhappy with nursing. If I even STARTED trying to nurse him he got upset. I knew that most women can work through it with additional breastfeeding counseling from an expert, but... I'll be honest, the ONLY real reason I considered a lactation consultant was because I was afraid of what others would say if I gave up. I was also severely depressed and doing talk-therapy on top of a modest dose of Wellbutrin wasn't enough (and, of course, breastfeeding while on medication is always a bit of a concern). When I talked to my husband about wanting to stop pumping and attempting to nurse, he asked why. I explained how I was feeling about everything and then he told me that he thought it was OK and, "if it makes you feel better to know my opinion, I actually think it's the right decision."
And then, something amazing happened.... absolutely NO ONE criticized me for stopping, and feeding became a wonderful, sweet, stress-free time to snuggle with my son. I know a bunch of people who are very big on extended breastfeeding, but not a single person ever said anything about seeing a bottle. Well, actually, a guy friend said, "Oh, he's off the boob now, huh?" I said "yep," and that was it. In the end, everyone recognized it as ultimately my decision and none of their business.
Our pediatrician also didn't bat an eye when we told him, which was another relief.
Oh, and I was able to think a little more about my blood sugar, which was getting out of control!!!
Some people are going to tell you what to do. The "right" answer is to do what feels right to you. If you feel you should visit with a lactation consultant and give it another hard try, do it. If you feel ready to just switch to bottle only, do it. Breast milk is almost always best, yes, but your baby will also do just fine with formula.
(As to another question you asked, we chose to start him on soy formula because I'd read some studies linking dairy formula to increased risk of T1 D. When we asked his pediatrician, he said he doubted there was really a risk but was 100% fine with soy formula. So we stuck with it.)