At whits end...again

I decided to go visit my niece and nephew today. Its about a 2hr drive and I usually don't get out much because I rarely feel well enough to enjoy myself. Anyway today wasn't much different. I started off with a 62 sugar in the morning which wasn't really too bad. Ate my usual cereal and within 30 minutes of eating I felt horrible. I just dealt with it because frankly I have no choice. So I get in my car and off I go. As soon as I got to the highway I started having severe panic attacks (far worse then I ever had) due to my sugar of course. I contemplated turning around but forced myself to continue. I knew If I didn't correct the sugar I would would have never made it two hours. I should have just pulled off the highway to test but figured let me grab a few pieces of candy suspecting I was low. Within a couple of minutes I started feeling better so I continued to eat a little more. Maybe 20 grams total. For the next hour I felt rather fine but then again started feeling not so great. When I got to the rest area I still had pretty bad anxiety so I then suspected my sugar may be to high. Sure enough I was just over 300. The mistake was obviously not testing when I first left but for starters I should really have not had a surge after breakfast and second why did eating the candy which made my sugar higher relieve the distress for a short period of time? I am so F*****G sick of this disease I am really contemplating taking an overdose and be done with it. This has been going on for nearly four decades and quite frankly there is just no solution possibly other then a cure. There is just no way in my mind I can keep going on like this. I have to plead for the first transplant that will offer insulin independence without anti rejection drugs. I know I sound like a broken record but I really just can't it anymore.

Perhaps the candy relieved your stress because it’s yummy? Potato chips do that for me. A lot of the problems with this scenario would seem to have been avoidable with a couple more tests and, if you’d have had a couple of eggs & bacon for breakfast, instead of cereal, even though you have maintained elsewhere that it’s fine and doesn’t bother you, your bg probably would have been flatter. Maybe that’s not as compelling as a cure, but it could have made a better day for yourself?

I never eat cereal because I know that will happen. Even though a lot of the endos say with all the new tech. you can eat what you want, I find that totally not to be true and try to avoid foods that I know will give me a bloodsugar spike, not worth the awful feeling.

I had the same bowl of cereal last night and my morning sugar is 58. I eat cereal every night and never get a surge. The morning's are more tricky but sometimes I get the surge and sometimes not. I've found that even I am normal in the morning 80-90 I still need wait at least 45 min after injection to eat any carbs at all. I've been using the man made stuff for a few decades. It's not necessary the control that is the problem (sometimes the levels go haywire for everyone) it is my sensitivity level that is the huge problem. Before I left to come back home I could tell I was somewhat elevated and sure enough I was 150. Not terrible but as far as the way I felt I might as well be over 300. I would bet 95% of diabetics would never experience feeling anything at 150. Sometimes I feel worse at mid levels then really high which is totally bizarre. So I took a few units before I left and my whole two hour ride home was horrible. Well the last half hour I started feeling little better. If I sit back and try and calculate how many days my life has been horrible just due to the diabetes it seems like longer then I've been alive. I have an appointment with a new endo but the reality is I need a transplant. If possible when one of the companies like Viacyte get approved for phase 1 I will plead my case and see if I can get involved. I do believe a better treatment will eventually happen (probably through transplantation of protected cells) but I am nearing 50 years old and time is running out. If I were a teen it would be a different story. I have to get in while experimental to hopefully get relief.

Why don't you try cutting out all that cereal and see if you feel better? There was a period of time when I ate cereal for breakfast in the morning and, no surprise, I felt pretty bad from the resulting glucocoaster. Even on a pump I cannot accurately bolus to the point where I can avoid a post-cereal gluco-disaster. So, I don't eat cereal. Simple as that. Why don't you try eating something more protein-based and see if that helps.

And how do you know your panic attacks are due to your blood sugar? As you've been told on here many times before, you're likely correlating these feelings of panic and depression with your blood sugar levels when they are really due to generalized anxiety or some other issue.

Trust me its the glucose levels. I know the difference between feeling depressed and being down vs poison running through my blood which wreaks havoc on my body mind and soul. Essentially external glucose in the blood is like poison. It amazes me how some diabetics can walk around with elevated levels and not feel anything. I'd almost rather have that then a cure.

sugar relieved your distress because your anxious about blood sugars in general. Its kinda obvious. You have a few peices of candy and think 'well im ok, not going to be low' then all of a sudden you think about it and think 'gee i might have a had a bit too much candy, oh wait i feel a bit off, maybe im too high'...and the rollercoaster continues.
Gary you display serious anxiety related to your diabetes. Glucose is not poison, its just that we need help to utilise it (insulin for t1) or maybe reduce it (t2).
You say your amazed people dont feel anything. The problem is you feel everything. High, low, your hypersensitive to it all. I bet you have felt really anxious and tested and you were spot on with your bs too. I know its been said, but you really need to see someone (professional help) about this because your not living your life mate. Diabetes is living it.

Glucose is not "poison." You have to have glucose in your bloodstream otherwise you're dead. Too much glucose can certainly be deadly, and without insulin, glucose levels will rise, but the levels you're describing are just not enough to cause any noticeable difference that I'm aware of. In fact, the longer you live with T1D, the LESS SENSITIVE you get to changes/fluctuations in BG levels (hence the development of hypo unawareness).

From all your posts, it sounds like you have serious anxiety related to your diabetes. You need to seek assistance from a mental health professional. Anxiety is a very real medical condition, and you need treatment.

Perhaps there’s an asyetundiscovered mechanism (acidrock phenomenon, for lack of a better name…although part of me wants to reserve that for exacerbated DP after very flat BG days…) that accesses your “home grown” insulin occasionally under the influence of cereal? Since they’ve found insulin production in Joslin 50 year medalists, perhaps you have some floating around too, just not enough to work all the time? Perhaps there’s a stress link too, if you are chill at home, the home grown works but, hit the road, or a job or some other stressful situation and it doesn’t?

I still think you shoud try eggs and bacon for a week. Augment it w/ some lower carb toast if you must but give it a try.

Tecnically I had about 20 grams of carbs which raises me about 60 points. When I checked my sugar I was a little over 300. Do the math. The sugar was high to begin with when I got on the road. I really wasn't sure whether I was high or low but knew I was nowhere near normal. I took a chance with the candy figuring if it doesn't fix it then I was wrong and would have pulled off the road to test, correct and been miserable the whole way up. Because I felt releif I assumed I made the right choice. Obviously had I checked before (the right thing to do)I left my calculations would tell me I was in the mid 200's.

^ I am not gonna argue with you there. Everytime you eat carbs (any carbs and inject insulin) you run the risk of lows/highs. If I wake up in the morning and am at a good level, eat just bacon and eggs my glucose should basically stay stable. Does that guarantee I will feel perfect? Probably a hell of a lot better then being 250+. Still it makes no sense to me that being slightly over 100 I feel I start getting symptoms. Let's see if there is anything this new endo wants to check in my lab work. Still I am praying I can get in the phase one trial with Viacyte and for better or worse having a shot at being free of this whole nightmare.

I don't see how you can hope to get into a study group when you don't keep records of your BG, insulin and carbohydrate intake, Gary. Doctors want to have a good picture of the candidates in their research and are not going to accept someone who simply demands that his anecdotal statements be taken as gospel.

I also don't think it's responsible for you to be driving when you're unsure about your BG levels. You have a significant history of DKAs. Even being "off" (whether at your personally-determined levels or those that most other people would feel) doesn't make for good reaction times and judgment in traffic and on highways. I understand that you feel free to write about your suicidal thoughts, but I don't see how you can be cavalier about potentially endangering others on the road.

Do you weigh your cereal? Another “missing link” can be the societal tendency to have “a bowl” of cereal that may be more like 2-4 “servings”, which might account for your varied results? If you have 50G of cereal instead of 40G, and are bolusing for 20G, it would also be in line with your results. Once I started weighing cereal, I realized how dense it is and how massive the margin of error ends up being? A scoop is pretty reliable but I think a scale will get you the best results, or at least improve you chances of success and provide a victory to start you day, instead of what you usually report.

1. Your brain runs on glucose, so you need at least SOME to survive.
2. That is why if you do not get any glucose from your diet, your liver will produce it. Hence, getting a high reading when you only eat bacon and eggs. I tried that a few times before my dietician told me about my liver.
3. Do you have a Dexcom or some other kind of CGM? I think that would really help you. As mentioned in the forums, it will not tell you your exact bg reading, but will give you a better idea of whether you're holding steady, rapidly rising, rapidly falling, etc.

Gary whatdo u want from us????? Everytime any of us try to help u out u come up with something else. U ALWAYS have an excuse. The TuD community has tried and tried to help u out but u just won't listen. I've been a D for a few years longer than u and I just don't get u. I hate this disease BUT I've decided to live with it and I also have a daughter who became a type 1 at 11 ( I became a Type 1 at 10 38 years ago) and she's living with D too. She now has 3 children of her own AND she's a CNA. U know that it seems u want to blame the D for everything and it's just not so!!!! Yes the D does cause problems but other things are connected too. PLEASE let us know what u want us to do! Life MUST go on. Ur not the only D here.


Ann I have never caused or gotten into an accident due to my diabetes. I've been driving now for about 28 years. Tell me this, what did people with diabetes do before there were glucose testing machines? They didn't drive? As far as getting into a trial whomever is running the trials when they happen will explain the criteria. Personally I don't think logging down blood sugars will be something that is mandatory.

I don't want anything from anyone on this forum and never suggested in anyway that I do. It's your interpretation. I'm typically expressing total frustration of how bad living with this is. For those that don't have a terrible time with it they are extremely fortunate IMO.

U know it maybe my interpation of it but honestly I've had some REALLY hard times and I don't post them up here. I just live my life and keep going. ur making it sound as if the D is totally running ur life and I've found that it's not only the d that is at fault for somethings. Other things come into play ALOT!! Just saying...........