Back On the Wagon . . .

I’ve not exactly been handling the whole diabetes thing great since late July, when I came to stay with my best friend. Maybe I just needed more time to digest and get myself set into a routine, I don’t know. But my being constantly tired and mentally and physically given out after the simplest of errands really has me looking back and wanting to smack myself in the head with a skillet for adding to my already annoying health problems.

I think I might have something like CFS. (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) because the fatigue and exhaustion with and without stress came on so suddenly a year ago last May, that it just doesn’t seem to be all related to my diabetes. However, a post on this forum really made me smack myself and vow to do better with my own self care and diet.

Sometimes it’s really difficult for me, though. My doctor didn’t mention any structured diet other than just going low carb for a while, then asking to come in to talk to a nutritionist. I actually understand a lot about nutrition, but really working on my diet is the hardest thing. Since talking to him, I have heard about so many other choices diet wise. I almost wish I could just have a structured meal plan to get me on the right track. I’m good about following rules, but I often feel like he left me in left field to fend for myself too much.

Plus, Metformin?! Ugh, I have to be honest, I dread taking that pill every day. I hate the side effects.

Which is part of the reason when I relocated to Austin, I decided to find a new doctor. I guess the only problem with that is getting one who takes the Amerigroup insurance they’ve paired up with Medicaid. I also have United Health Care through my parents, but that’s going to be a headache and a half because I am out of network, so I might as well just deal with what I’ve got Medicaid/Amerigroup,

I came up here to take care of my best friend, who’s having some severe back pain and difficulty getting into a local neurologist because of her own horrible insurance. I know I’ve been experiencing some classic caregiver stress with that, because I am so used to living by myself in a dorm type environment, and I joined her and her daughter (who is now out of the house, looong story with that). So much adjustment for me there. I love being here in Austin way better than Houston because the bus system is so much more thorough and kind than the one in Houston. I can get anywhere and go see/do anything I want here, even if my friend doesn’t want to come along.

Another issue with roommates is the whole food situation. I would love to hear how other diabetics survive and live with their roomies. I mean, do you buy separate food, work together on buying meals, but buy your own extra veggies, low carb options such as whole wheat pastas/tortillas? I am trying to do what is best for myself without making my friend feel upset or left out. This is not always easy, but I wanted to live up here for a lot of reasons, and this is just one of those hurdles I’ve gotta jump in order to get adjusted.

I’ve also applied to my dream college up here for the spring semester. I’m fairly certain I’ll get in, without being too cocky about it. I’ve missed being in school and accomplishing goals of that sort so much. When I moved and got out of UH, my parents were almost deathly afraid that I was about to drop out – Ha! I can’t just not be in school, or striving for some sort of career goal. It almost hurts not being there right now, but I was honestly sick of putting my life and desires to the side in order to gain their approval (overprotective parents as I am also legally blind, have left sided cerebral palsy, and was hit by a car two years ago). I am finally at that stage where I can let myself fly, and I’ve done so without abandon. It’s just the landing that’s rough . . . .