D & d #11

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Diabetes and Dialysis #11

I guess it happens to all of us. I know it happens to my fellow diabetics regardless of what type you are. Of course it also happens to me. You get to the point where you are just sick of it. I find myself with that feeling tonight after my five and a half hour four hour dialysis treatment.

I am still using a chest catheder because my av fistula access has not matured yet. Chest catheders, I have found, are very cantankerous. Move your head wrong and flow goes to nothing. No flow you get alarms. You get flow alarms and the pump stops. When the pump stops the treatment timer stops. When the treatment timer stops you have to spend longer connected the that blasted machine. I think that catheders are a spawn of satin.

I got my av fistula done the end of April. Most people heal and mature in about 12 weeks. I am at the 16 week point and feel like I have accomplished zilch...nada...zero...nothing.

I may (emphasis on may) have my grandson down here soon and I want to have water fights with him. No can do with the catheder. And for those that say tape a plastic sandwich bag over it all I can say is grown some chest hair and get back to me. Plus, I have tried that little trick before and found out that it ain't gonna work.

Not only water fights with the grandson but showers...nope. Sitting in the rain during a sumer rain storm...out. I did something this weekend that probably lead to some of my problems today...I went shooting. No long guns mind you. Just some pistol shooting.

The dressing over my catheder is ALWAYS visible to people. Unless you want to dress like a catholic priest or always wear a suit and tie. Have I ever told you how much I hate ties? Well I do.

I guess I could lie to people and tell them that I had a gross mole removed. But those that you see every day ain't gonna buy that one. Sixteen weeks for that little surgery to heal...come on.

I could just tell them that I am diabetic and I heal slowly. They see how fast my surgery for the fistula healed so no way that will play either.

Usually I just tell them the truth. Always have been that way and I was today as well. I told the entire center how I felt about dialysis in a very colorful way. If that don't get the point across how about I talked like the sailor that I am.

I told the center that I was ready to quit. I had enough. Disconnect me and let me the hell out of here. They did the right thing of course. They have seen this kind of attitude before. "We'll be there in a minute." That minute turned into another hour. Yep, they had handled that one before.

Oh I was still pissed when I got out of the place. Five plus hours and had the worst treatment number of my nearly forty to date.

So this blog is a rant plain and simple. I said that I was going to chronicle my travels dealing with this and well...this was the feeling today.

Will I stop the dialysis portion of my D & D parade? No. I understand what's at stake. To stop means a slow and somewhat miserable end. I might be 58 but I am not ready for that yet.

So I will hang in there.

Going to have shrimp for diner tonight. One of those things that is discourage by the dietician in my center. Well tough. I is eating shrimp tonight!

Bless you all for reading and especially those that comment. Writing this and having you folks read and comment is a great therapy for me.

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I always read your blog when you post..and i'm just amazed what you go through..you seem to do it with such humor...I bet your a blast to hang out with :) Thinking of you and hope you feel better...I know I get sick of diabetes almost every other week I've only had it a year or so and I'm only 26 I still have my whole life ahead of me dealing with this damn disease but you really have to live one day at a time... :)

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Sparky- You are taking your situation like a trooper and sharing it with us too. I give you a lot of credit to hang in there, you know that you really have no other option. I get frustrated with my D too from time to time and I also have other medical problems to deal with. I guess we all just have to grin and bear it with our lot. Say hi to Sharon, I try to keep in touch with her.

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You tell 'em sailor! You have every reason/right to get totally po'd now and then.

It gets old having people stare, too. When I had chemo years ago I walked around bald in August - I wasn't wearing a hot wig any more than you'll wear a tie LOL. Had some fun with people over it too, I got to feeling mean once in a while ;)

You are amazing, and insightful, and brave and..... So glad to 'know' you Sparky!

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Shayla, catlover and jrtpup,

Thanks for the kind comments. Taking it like a trooper? I could go other places but I will leave that rock unturned...lol.

I would not wear a rug either jr. No way. My hair is a goin' and I don't really care. I sweat enough as it is.

Cat...message delivered. She says "hi" back.

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Oh yeah, brother. Been there, done that. There were more than a couple times when I was VERY close to stopping treatment. I felt I could not stand it a moment longer. And then, the time deal - "we'll be right there" is the biggest flippin' lie on the planet. Sheesh.
My fistula took way longer to mature also. And, yes, people were always asking me what the bandage was. One time they were in a hurry and put the bandage on crooked so part of the cath was exposed. I had a cardiologist appt the next day and showed it to him and the color drained from his face.
Hang in there, my dear friend. Keep thinking of those waterfights with the grandson.
Here is a post from my blog re the fistula:http://www.kathy4762.blogspot.com/2011/09/no.html

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Reading this I see I really have no problems to complain about. Hang in there and hope things start getting better soon.

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Hey guys, I am proud of Sparky. I am amazed it took this long before he really got mad about his situation at the dialysis center. The techs and nurses like him there a lot and they handled his frustration well. As mad as he was, I am glad now I did not do a drop in visit like I had planned. It would not have helped him if I came to see him during all this. Seeing me could have made it worse. I would have let him rant and cuss, but having someone else to complain to would have taken him longer. He and I both know when its time to leave the other alone and not talk. We can text each other, and he did, which was enough, but I truly didn't know exactly how bad it really was going. We are very worried the catheter in his chest which is the only access they have hooking him to the machine, is clogging up with clots big time. I am afraid it will no longer work and he will end up having another one put in on the other side of his neck. This does happen to people, apparently frequently which I read about on a site Ihatedyalisis. People only have to sites on their neck to the veins and artery to the heart: right and left side. After they fail, I don't know where they go to but trying the fistula in his arm which is not enlarging as fast as it should. The time its taking for that to "mature" is not that unusual, especially with a diabetes 2 patient on dialysis. All this is part of the yucky journey of being diabetic and having end stage kidney failure. We'll still go on, hes young and God ain't done with him yet. Oh and Jon, I do not think the shooting we did with our pistols had anything to do with this. The cateter has been clogging more and more even before that. Love you big time Sparky! Hey there catlover! I've been really busy with yard work, pulling down ivy off a wall, and broke my toe, so haven't been on the blogs lately. Love you guys here because ya'll keep us going.

Sharon

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We love you both too, Sharon!!!

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Thanks Kathy!