Dating someone who doesn’t eat healthy


I eat very healthy and my hubby is a carb eater. I’ve never asked him not to eat anything for me, but I do model healthy eating. We have been together for 10 years and he has definetely picked up some of my healthy habits.


This a common source of arguments between my husband and I. I was only diagnosed a couple years ago so it’s still something we are working out. We pretty much never eat the same meal. Oddly he ate fairly healthy before I went low carb and his diet has since gotten much worse. He is against low carb diets and is always trying to get me to eat more carbs and resents that I don’t cook the way I used to or like to eat out. I will make a carb for him to eat with a meal, but I refuse to cook two separate meals so he just gets fast food instead. I resent that he doesn’t eat with us. He used to cook some of the time and won’t now. I’m usually pretty good at resisting temptation, but occasionally I get irritated by him eating something I wish I could eat too. I don’t like the food habits he’s modeling for our daughter and he doesn’t like me modeling a restrictive diet and worries I will try to restrict her diet too and won’t let her have things like birthday cake.

A lot of it is expectations from how we grew up eating. In his family, a meal is meat, two carbs and dessert. Sugar is practically a food group. I grew up with a T1 diabetic father and we all ate the same meals, with the occasional treat he didn’t eat.


When we cook in our house, it’s generally accepted that I don’t eat the carbs majority of the time with meals and if my husband feels like them (rice, wraps etc) he organises it for himself. It has taken time slowly for that though-by now (together 7 years) he’s learnt how much nicer I am when I’m in range! Saying no to things has become easier as I’ve begun to care more about how I feel moment to moment.
We both know if I’m making extra food for him and not having it myself it’s because I want to show him I care about him, so soppy I know.


I don’t consider my diet to be low carb, but most days I probably eat around 100-120 grams. However I went to a Nats game last week and had a bunch of ribs, a hot dog, large margarita, and a beer. I don’t remember what I had the rest of the day, but I’m guessing my total carb intake exceeded 200 grams. My bg never went above 160, and it was at 160 only briefly before dropping down to normal levels (I imagine someone without type 1 diabetes would’ve had a similar spike after a sugary beverage like that).


The first spike is the beer (summer shandy, prebolused with Humalog and maxed at 140), and the second spike is the margarita. Per a study I referenced awhile back (, hitting a 140 or 160 is not unheard of in people without diabetes. The amount of time at those levels tends to be very short for people without diabetes though.

Most of the time, I try to eat foods that are less processed and what I consider healthy (lots of fruits, veggies, fish, lentils, whole grains). I don’t limit myself though on special occasions-
which may occur as often as 1-2 times a week :smiley: or as little as 2 times a month. I dose as best I can and subsidize with Afrezza as needed. My last A1c was 5.5% so I think things are working out pretty well.

I’m not trying to say that my margarita binge was “healthy,” but I don’t think carbs are evil. I consider brown rice and whole wheat bread to be pretty healthy foods, and I eat them several times a week. I just dose for them. I see so many posts on here that say low low carb is the only healthy way to go. There’s more than one way that is healthy…

I’m dating someone now who generally eats more carbs than me. I wouldn’t call his eating habits unhealthy though. They’re healthy carbs most of the time, and he’s fairly active.


I don’t care at all what someone else eats, but I have had years of practice long before I was diagnosed with diabetes 15 years ago. I am a vegetarian, and so often sit with someone tearing into a steak, eating ribs, or whatever. Their choice, but not mine. As long as someone isn’t trying to coax me into eating something that would harm my glucose numbers I am fine with watching them eat foods that I do not, either for ethical or for diabetic reasons.


I also don’t ask my family to eat different because I have diabetes. It’s my condition & I deal with it.


Part of me says to drop him for being insensitive but then the other part says you have to be responsible for yourself. In my experience a lot of my friends and family have cut down on white flour as it just converts to sugar on the body. I am like you in that bread stays with me for hours. If I indulge it is never at night. Can control the highs during the day. Best of luck in whatever you decide. It is a process.


I want to go watch the Nats play major league baseball with katers87. I could handle a nice big slab of jjuicy BBQ ribs and a long hotdog slathered with spicy mustard and diced onions and relish. And a tall cold brew, or two, or three. Er… what was I saying?

The Atkin’s diet lets you focus on eating meats, but just avoid the bread. You are supposed to eat lots of veggies, but where can you get a good salad? I used to go along generally with the Atkin’s meat principle, but I do not eat as much food as I used to.


@Natalie1993 - I have gone to Afrezza and Tresiba so I don’t have to worry about what or when I eat. It makes the small differences my wife and I have in what we eat less impactful on me.

I am not bothered at all if my wife eats differently than I do. It does make it harder for me, as I am more tempted to eat what she does.

But I have a wife that believes she should support me in my diabetes. She cooks all our food, and she does not believe in fast food. She has made adjustments in a lot of what we both eat, to make everything healthier. I’d suggest some changes like that for you.

But there are some things she eats that I do not. But because of the insulins I use, I do have the flexibility to cheat sometimes.

Overall, as a result of us eating relatively the same, we are both healthier though.