Dear Quiet Warrior in Training

I know I’m a little late jumping on this Diabetes blog week thing…sorry. And deal with it. :slight_smile: I just saw the prompt for Tuesday (letter writing day),

“You can write a letter to diabetes if you’d like, but we can also take it one step further. How about writing a letter to a fictional (or not so fictional) endocrinologist telling the doctor what you love (or not) about them. How about a letter to a pretend (or again, not so pretend) meter or pump company telling them of the device of your dreams? Maybe you’d like to write a letter to your child with diabetes. Or a letter from your adult self to the d-child you were. Whomever you choose as a recipient, today is the day to tell them what you are feeling.” and I knew I had to jump on the bandwagon. This is a letter to little, emaciated, newly diagnosed, 9 year old Carrie. Enjoy.

Dear Quiet Warrior in Training,

You just got dealt a really ■■■■■■ hand. Life threw you a curve ball, and hit you right smack between the eyes. You will go through a lot of emotional torment over the next few years, and I want to tell you a few things that I hope will make it easier. Pretty quickly after you’re diagnosed, you will develop severe agoraphobia. You will refuse to go to school, or anywhere, for that matter. When your mother takes you to the psychiatrist who counsels newly diagnosed patients in your endocrinologist’s office, he will simply say, “Well the only thing to really do is put her in a psychiatric institution.” while not even missing a beat, or even looking you in the eyes. Thankfully, your mother will not follow this advice, but just that statement will have a profound effect on you and the way you see yourself for the next…oh, 18 years. DON’T DO IT. Do not internalize someone else’s judgement of you and let it affect your sense of self worth. When you’re sitting in class and start to feel faint and suddenly realize you’re low, GET UP AND GO TO THE NURSE’S OFFICE. Don’t try to suck it up because you know the other kids talk about you when you get up and leave. Screw them. You can’t gamble on your health because you’re afraid of what other people are saying about you. When you are in high school and your friends start to tease you by calling you “Shelby” and laughing hysterically while chanting “Shelby drink your juice!”, don’t swallow your tears and put on a fake smile to laugh along with them. Simply say, “Hey guys it really hurts me when you say that. I didn’t choose this disease and it feels like you’re teasing me because of something that I cannot control. It’s also really personal.” If they do anything but apologize, screw 'em. They must not have been real friends anyway. When your high school boyfriend’s mother drags you in front of a mirror and tells you exactly how soon your organs are going to fail in exactly what order because of “how sick you are”, shake your arm free of her grasp and just leave. Walk right out the door, and don’t ever look back. That guy is going to break up with you because you don’t want to lose your virginity to him, anyway. :wink: When you’re in college and that idiot you’re dating makes fun of you and laughs because you’re drinking a kid-sized juice box when your blood sugar is low, punch him right in the face. Then tell him to get out. Are you seeing a pattern here? When someone tries to tell you that you can’t or shouldn’t do something because you’re diabetic, prove they’re wrong or walk away and forget about it. You are a Quiet Warrior. You’ll realize what that means someday, and once you do, you’ll scream it from the rooftops and proclaim it in many microphones for many people. Once you put your mind to something, nothing, and I mean NOTHING can stop you. Keep your head up, and pin your ears back. And always remember, “A quiet warrior, is a warrior nonetheless”.

Love and Light,

Future Carrie

Hi Carrie, I really liked your blog. I think there are many young diabetics who would identify with it. Even old man Richard liked it. Lol! Your getting all these feelings off your chest probably makes you feel better. There is no better place to do it than on a diabetes website where all the people who read it are your fellow diabetics. They will truly understand! They get it!!

Carrie, I love the overall finale and message of this: a warrior, to me, is someone who continues to fight and persevere and face their challenges. I’ve never thought of people with diabetes like that before, and you hit the nail on the head! And to add the word “quiet” is PERFECT, because when you look at us, you can’t see what we go through every day and the responsibilities we take on. LOVE IT! Thank you for this.

Good stuff Carrie. I work in a middle school where there are quite a few “quiet warriors”…I am going to print this. I have been forwarding links of blogs for the nurse to read and share with them…some minor editing may be needed but they will get it. A couple of them are moving on to high school next year. Can’t wait to hand it to them. Thank you!!

I’m still playing catch-up with a lot of my tudiabetes emails and dblog stuff b/c of all of my recent family drama, but I had to comment and tell you that this is F-ing beautiful. Quiet warrior. I LOVE IT. You definitely have a unique, charming, and brutal voice as a blogger. Use it and keep on writing! I can’t wait to hear more.