Hi, I am Rebecca. I am type 1 diabetic, for 14 years. For the past 3 years, I have been suffering from eating disorders (EDNOS-eating disorder not otherwise specified). I am very restrictive, exercise too much sometimes, purge and will fast for days. I am not trying to seek attention or anything.
I know I have a problem.. but this past February (2013) I was rushed to the hospital at 7 AM in an ambulance from my boyfriends house, as I woke him up with my screaming, but he couldn't wake me up. I was told I was shifting into a coma, and I almost died from low blood sugar.
I have been seeing an eating disorder counselor for a few months now. They want me to go into treatment, as in the last 5 months I have lost just shy of 35 pounds due to my not eating properly. I have noticed I am not digesting food properly anymore when I do eat, and I feel sick when I try to eat, to the point of involuntary throwing up as well. The past month I have noticed I wake up with bruises all over me, legs, arms.. and I think its because my body is malnourished to the point that I can't heal very fast anymore.
I don't know how to help myself. I've tried to start eating but I always relapse back as soon as I notice weight gain. I have a serious fear of food and weight gain. I want to be free of all this, but im scared that I never will be.
If anyone has advice, or understands my struggle, please share with me. :(
Note: I am also on depressed and on medication for it, I have chronic insomnia, and anxiety (panic attacks) and I am not allowed to work due to my condition. I need to start working again, but until I sort myself out, Im not allowed. Dr.'s orders.