Hello Domo:
Wonderful thank you for you input.
How can we reach someone who is in that head space? We are their peers… who better than any of us to have ideas how to go about doing that?
Stuart
You know Stuart I don’t think any words you say at that time will help them. Like I said it took having kids that I wanted to be there for to help me. I always thought about the older ppl who wanted to see me make it too. My mom always said that she and my g-father wanted me to be there for them if something happened to them.
Maybe something like “There are ppl out there relying on you"I’ve tried that with my daughter but right now I’m not getting through” My daughter now has 3 kids and if that isn’t something to live for I can’t figure anything else to say to her. Told her about all the complication & such but I feel as though I’m talking to air right now. She see’s how I can pass out at the slightest sound but says “I’ll never be like that” I’ve told her more than once I thought that at 22 (watching my older cousin do the samething) but now is different, She says that she will deal with it then. I really can’t tell you the appropriate words there. Sorry
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Hello Holger:
Thank you for taking part, we appeciate it.
“Involentary commitment” is an obscenely dangerous path. I agree it is one viable approach (sic. obscenely limited context) but how does that line get drawn exactly?
When does our “informed decision” govern? What of free will?
Stuart
a couple of years ago, when TuDiabetes was fairly new, we experienced the first death of a member. It rocked the community like nothing I’ve ever seen. Stuart, I think you were a member then. Kyla Maldonado died from DKA, and left behind two young children. Manny made a video expressing his feelings about it called “DKA can Kill”.
It isn’t about what they do or don’t do. It is about whether you are there for them and willing to listen rather than give advice. Their mind and ears may be closed, but they’ll notice if you are there to support them and care. They get to choose the time to respond, frustrating and scary as that can be.
I think the one thing that could be shared is how much their behaviour scares you, and how you fear them dying early, how you feel angry at them as well as loving them, etc. Laying that out for them once, not over and over, and being careful not to blame or attack, may give them something to think about. Not that they’ll admit it till they are ready.
This issue always reminds me of alcoholism, where you can rarely rush the timing of the person’s changes. Same kind of self-destructive behaviour driven by things in the person’s life experiences. Until they begin to deal with that other ‘crap’, they can’t make good decisions about self-care.
How long will what take?
Rexbiff, what do you mean? Please let us know how U R feeling so we can talk it over with you…
God BLess,
Brunetta
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Death by Diabetes:
These three words have so much meaning within my life. I have always had a passion to live life to its fullest and this passion has always been haunted and closely watched by this monster we all call Diabetes. Ever sense I was child before my mind even could speak the word it has been watching my every move as if to find me weak one day where I had let my guard down so it could pounce upon me and take me away.
Now I have always been about living as normal a life as I thought could be accomplished living with this disease, never hiding the fact I was different but making others aware of what it was and what it could do to me in an instant. I have always thought my outlook was upbeat and I was proactive in teaching and helping others that was until lately as my world has suffered so much this past year and my heart is bleeding away it seems more and more each day.
First I think to understand me you need to know just a little about me and my life. I work in the public safety world where most things others watch on TV unfold before my very eyes. I am the smile and the voice that greets you when your world has just has its worst day. I am the one that made you feel everything was going to be OK despite the destruction and the pain happening at that very instant.
Well I am not one to ponder on misgivings but this year has been one that has hit my life and heart very hard. A major surgery from a work related injury started the year out for me, then brain cancer struck my fiancé with a vengeance, the loss of my best friend my golden retriever last week from yet another cancer event to name just a few of the events, then as if it wasn’t bad enough after my life’s work at maintaining my blood sugars at what was always a fairly good A1C my numbers went crazy and escalated to the worst levels I have ever seen. So as I write this I am thinking to myself was my life worth all the pain and trouble was this daily vigil of sticking my fingers and injecting insulin into my body worth the effort just to find more pain in hardships the very next day, should I not give up and just succumb to this disease is that gods will or just his plan for me………
Not His plan, U R Here for a purpose… Look at what you have done for others in your job You are the source of inspiration and comfort for so many that you cannot even count…l and I am not denying that Your life is Hard…
there will alays be peaks and valleys, and you have beern in the valley for a while…But yes the foinger pokes, and injections are worth it!!! Rest in His love and know that He will hold you up when it feels like no one is there for you… I know from personal expereince how it seems like nothing is going right for you and U question your existence.,…But you are here for a purpose, and that purpose is not to slide away into diabetes-insuced depression and destruction. Honey, I know it is hard… But keep the faith!!! Call others to talk, cry , and vent here when you need to.
God BLess,
Brunetta
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Sometimes it is the familiar routines that hold us together. Keeping up with testing and shots might be the only constructive thing happening when the rest of my world is falling apart. It is the part that I can control. The rest of it has to be coped with, endured, survived.
The horrible chaos does pass, and life becomes worthwhile again. Have faith in that, if you can, and give yourself a chance to have a better future.
death by diabetes well probably, last year i had a heart attack and was stented 3 months later a coronary artery that had been 40% blocked was 97% blocked. walking from the car park up to A&E nearly killed me. even worse was having to answer the usual questions before i could get treated.
Thing is I know the problem was ignoring my diabetes and there is lots of people want to pretend they don’t have diabetes if you don’t check your sugars then how do you know other than getting a bit thirsty in the night.
so for me the consequences of neglecting diabetes is nearly ending up dead. I’m not ready for that so i fight day by day. About a third of the guys on the ward was diabetic and one blind as well I so don’t want to end up like that.
funny thing in ireland they tend to give you daily asprin, but i was diagnosed in the uk where they don’t. that might have saved me a heart attack…
why bother saying this? because long term effects of diabetes seem a long way away so you needn’t worry right? trouble is i had that heart attack at 44 and i was diagnosed with diabetes at 42. You can’t ignore diabetes.
Hello Cathy:
Thank you for participating.
Point of clarification, it’s not my dia-cide. It is merely a view, a perspective I can understand small pieces of…
I like your approach btw… action.
More soon… be well!
Stuart
How long wll it take to run its course? You know what I mean.
Actually, I don’t talk things over. I just do what I have to do. I just wanted to know how long it takes for high blood sugar levels to finish their work.
Agreed. Occasionally, it is actually not the Diabetes totally that is the cause of Dia-cide but other constant/unbearable circumstances in one’s Life, on top that can cause the deep dark pit for some Persons. I know of a few. People such as this, would need total counseling and other basic needs met to keep them here. Unfortunately, some keep their problems to themselves and/or do not receive adequate help.
Stuart, growing up, II watched my father commit “dia-cide”. When he finally “got it” and started living a healthy life, it was just too late. I was diagnosed type 2 approximately 2 years ago. I think of my dad often when I get in a rut and get an “I don’t care” attitude, I keep telling myself that this rut is just a season in my life and will pass and then remind myself to get with it and control this disease so that it doesn’t control me. Life is too short and I follow Nike’s lead and “just do it”!
Hi JOJ, I’m new to this website, but was quite taken with your photograph, oh wait- I guess that’s a picture of Mr. Lizard Spit, sorry. As you might have guessed from my webname, I like to claim irishhood although I and my parents were born in California, USA. However 3 of my grands were born in Ireland and one in Scotland, so there is a fair amount of green blood flowing through my veins. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
I named my dog Blarney McCool, so perhaps we are related somehow as you put your home town as blarney (small b?) Like others who have written to you, I had always hoped to visit the old sod, but it never happened, and now I’m too old and infirm to go, woe is me!
Anyway, I hope you will send a note now and then. Looking for a bit of “Irish laughter”.
Erin go braugh
Yes he is rather defiant, and I’m trying to be positive these days trying to get myself a future.
hard to get work here right now so I am doing a couple of courses started them yesterday.
I guess thats the thing got to keep going sure beats getting depressed about things
Hello Terrie:
First thank you for taking part as well…
I’m asking specifics, re: exactly how to help someone with/in this kind of dark headspace? What words, what technique do you use to nudge someone back from the edge of their vortex.
Stuart
Hello Teressa:
Thank you for taking part as well… Verbalizing that this is a “temporary state”, simply a rut works??? What kind of things does that perspective work effectively for? What has it not been effective against?
Stuart