Don’t worry. I have had type 1 for 52 years. Only recently have I started sertraline HCL (generic) Zoloft. Still waiting to feel any mental change. Been dealing with anxiety and depression for years but wrote it off as a part of having a chronic disease. You know we have a battle that goes on everyday but so what. 52 years proves that you too can win.
I feel so much better reading everything you all have said. I don’t have any diabetic friends in real life, and I know my friends and family can only take so much. I get a lot of, “it’s been a year now- you should be used to this”.
Since my endo appointment on Friday I’ve taken insulin with every meal, and I cleaned out my diabetes supply drawer, called the insurance company for more strips (because mine all expired) and am hoping to feel better. I’ve been taking the pills, but I know I won’t feel a change until it’s been a few weeks. My endo asked me if I wanted to talk to someone, like a therapist, but it really is something I don’t have the time for. I work two jobs D: he also really wants me to think about an insulin pump. Which I have, I had my heart set on an omni pod, but after all the paperwork was filled out my insurance told me no. They will only cover a standard pump, and I find tubing intimidating.
Thanks all <3
Hey, congrats on your great steps! They are huge, and you should feel good about them!
Diabetes related depression is so very common. Seems that it is just barely starting to be addressed. 30 years ago when I was diagnosed, it was never addressed. In fact, as an adult I now feel like it was all so poorly handled…a lot of “blame” and scare tactics it seemed like (I was a child). I’m sure it wasn’t handled so poorly everywhere though…(?)
I recently joined a group where I live called “Orange County Diabetes Group”. We meet once a month at a the St. Josephs hospital in our area. We always have a qualified specialized guest speaker. It is also nice because I’ve met others who are diabetic and live near by. Anyway, I was lucky enough to be there when Dr. Polonsky spoke. He travels, speaking of the psychology related problems of diabetes & behavioral issues. He has written books. He has a non profit research center in San Diego, CA. It is called The Behavioral Diabetes Institute. It’s worth checking out their web site! http://behavioraldiabetesinstitute.org/about-Behavioral-Diabetes-In…
I find this idea BRILLIANT! Because finally someone is addressing not just the medical effects of this disease but also the equally challenging psychological effects.
Good luck & hang in there!!!
It’s just that antidepressants are really not all that effective. I’m sure I said it before, but all they do for me is keep the suicidal thoughts away. They do NOT make me happy; they don’t take away the deep down sadness, anger and loneliness.
Therapy is difficult, I agree, but I think it’s important to deal with the issues that are causing or exacerbating the depression in the first place. I do think that part of depression is wacky brain chemicals, but it’s certainly not all, and scientists don’t even know yet just which chemicals are going wacky in just what way, let alone have a drug that really targets them.
So an antidepressant is an option, but not a cure-all, and depression needs to be taken seriously. Talk therapy can be quite effective, but takes a long time, and for people with chronic depression, may need to be life-long. But for me, I think the anti-depressant is most likely going to be life-long, too.
I think it is a bit of both. I do not know how long you have been taking the anti-depressants but it takes between two weeks and a month to kick in. There is no shame in it. You are suffering from a long time illness with diabetes, and perhaps other problems you have not shared, but it can be overcome.
Your fluctuating or rising blood sugar levels do have a lot to do with the depression. You simply MUST test and MUST take insulin and every other medication regularly in order to balance your sugar levels. I suspect you might be high and that does not help, but you have to tools to deal with it! You have a testing machine - and that will help your endo to work out what is going on - and you have your insulin.
If you tend to forget, set the alarm on your mobile or something to remind you. Take your kit with you and get used to using it. I know it is hard - I have diabetes type 1 and depression to deal with, but the only person who can help you from day to day is you and you WILL feel better.
Message me if you want to talk.
being diabetic is depressing. complications are depressing our dependency on the medical industrial complex is depressing when my general doc asked about antidepressants I got very offended I think that being depressed is a reasonable reaction to being diabetic as long as I don’t stay depressed
Antidepressants are a very individual decision. They’re not mind-candy, and they’re not happy-pills. I take an antidepressant because it keeps me from thinking suicidal thoughts 24/7. It’s worth, it, don’t you think?
In your case, if you can handle it without antidepressants, more power to you! 
You may just get over your feelings of depression on your own, which would be a good thing.
What you really need to do is monitor yourself, and make sure you don’t slide into helplessness/hopelessness and feelings of wanting to hurt yourself. I really think that’s the basic line. As long as you can take care of yourself, and do the activities of daily living, and ENDURE, I think you will be OK!
Good luck!
I felt really depressed at the beggining too… I was finishing my BS degree and my friends from the University were partying all the time, while I couldn’t even smell the drinks. Felt like life was punishing me.
However after maybe a year and a half, I started using my diabetes as the headwind that would be with me for my whole life. I got more focused on my life plan and the objectives that I wanted to acomplish.
It has been really tough at some points, but mi advice is to keep in mind you’re not alone and **** happens to all of us. Keep your true friends and family close to you, and forget about those things you were told you can’t do anymore. It would get better for you, believe me 
… a healthy life is not that bad
You CAN and you WILL. There are so many diabetics out there who have achieved marvelous things. Diabetes should not stop us from acheiving what we want to! Only other people do that with there constant drip, drip, drip. They do not know, only what they hear from the press or pre-conceived ideas. In fact, diabetes forces us to look after ourselves better and we eat a healthier diet than the average, non-diabetic and we can be fitter!
I have been “sacked” from a voluntary job because of my diabetes, just last week. There loss. I had been looking for a way to hone my hours there anyway and they took the pressure off me. Apparently, I am a liability. If I was allowed a break and allowed to eat, no problem. Problem was, the boss was fit and healthy (physically, anyway) and expected the rest of us to keep up with him!
I have been barred from going into prisons locally to help young people to read and write and take part in a restorative course. Again, their loss. I would have been good at it.
The first year i was diagnosed was extremely crazy emotionally. I have had Diabetes for, well Sunday will be 13 years. And to be honest i am just now starting to be okay with the fact that i am a Diabetic. It was so hard to deal with lots of tears were shed and lots of sleepless nights. But I have come to the conclusion that this is who i am and if i want to be the best i can be for my family, now and future family that i need to get motivated to take care of myself. My parents were also a great motivator, helping me come up with ideas to get me to take my count and now that my A1C is down to 8.2 from 14. I want to take my count to help it drop even more! It made my doctor visits so much better! I feel for you on the depression with your Diabetes. It does get better i promise! Good luck and keep your head held high and your Heart strong!
Hi Dear Sara
Thanks for sharing your struggles with us. I think that the most important thing here is that you are aware that you want to pursue a best bg management and thats the first step to make the change. It was exactly the same way with me. I have had an awful a1c for years, my a1c was around 9 and 10. Well my life quality was really bad and my humor the same.
Probably yes, the crazy sugar levels affects the nervous system… I ve read that in a diabetes magazine… and for me makes alot of sense. When my sugar levels are high i feel irritated… As soon as I got my sugar to normal levels, my humor got better also.
I agree with kestrel that looking for a therapist could be great. I think that the antidepressant can be a tool to help someone but just after a psychological treatment, that many times is enough to help the person. I have made a therapy for years, and it really helped me to find a better perspective to my treatment and life.
Keep us posted… Take care.
Fabiana
Sarah,
Last night I hit a very huge low and ended up in the ER. The reason that I ended up with a low is because I wasn’t taking care of myself. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed for me and my partner.
I know how you feel. It is so tough. You aren’t alone.
Every time I feel lazy about my diabetes I start to think about my future kids and my partner. I think of all the places I want to visit in the world and the experiences that are waiting for me to have. Taking care of your diabetes means living. You don’t want to end up on the hospital bed close to death. Life is needs you, I need you.
I feel for you. I have become very lazy too, in the last few weeks. Almost too embarrassed to go to the Endo next week. Am also suffering from depression, worse than I expected, having been on a high for several weeks in January! Grrrrr!
Have you tried meditation? or journaling?
I journal almost every day and while I journal, I make sure to put positive and self loving messages in there (rather than my journal become a negative zone) http://www.healyourlife.com/ this website is amazing!
I try to give myself five minutes every morning where I either lay in bed and focus on my breathing and positive energy or when I have my morning cup of coffee (before I check e mail) I think positive.
I have been a T1 for 23 years now. I used to take Paxil, then I did not have to take anything for a while and every few years I need a “reset” where I take anti-depressants. Diabetes is a P.I.T.A. and always will be. And yes it did help for me; both control wise and personal wise. Don’t worry so much about the pity party thing either, most all of us have gone through it at some point in time.
See if you can find a group of T1’s that have a get together in your area. I am not trying to dis any T2’s, but it is a bit different talking to another T1 compared to a T2…Like seeing everything from the same shade of light. Just remember to ask when you think/feel you might need help or advice, I doubt anyone will turn you down.
Glad to see I'm not the only one , also. Never wanted to let this disease get the best of me mentally and I've always been pretty tough about it (32 years now), but lately I've found myself crying, ALOT. I can no longer drive, so I'm stuck in the house, and I lost a lucrative Lead position to this disease, and I guess it's finally gotten to me. I'm not a believer in feeling sorry for ones self, but I guess the totality of it all has finally gotten to me. What are you gonna do....
Eric
the tubing of the pump is no big deal
Take it from me Sara, complications do NOT happen no matter what you do....they happen when you don't rise to the challenge and fight it. The best way to live a full and happy life is to meet it head on. Please trust me on this...I used to feel the same way and paid for it heavily. It was only when I realized that the disease was just part of the problem....what was really causing complications was my denial of the truth and my refusal to deal with it.
Eric
So sorry to hear this.....this is why I believe we should have a universal healthcare system in this country. Until the profit motive is removed from healthcare, people are always going to suffer for it. Sheesh!
Eric