Depression sucks the will to take care of ourselves right out of us. We need to fight back against that urge to just wallow and give up. Easier said than done sometimes? Oh, yeah. You'll be reminding me of this in the not too distant future. That's diabetes.
A few ideas: Are you getting enough good-quality rest? Are you monitoring and correcting your vitamin D levels? Do you consciously inject humor into your everyday life? I mean consciously make an effort to surround yourself with humorous cartoons, funny movies, people who are amusing, funny songs, silly cat videos, whatever makes you smile? When you have a choice between renting a melodrama or a comedy, do you consciously pick the comedy? This is a kind of mental hygiene that I have found makes a big difference in how I feel day to day, week to week. Wallowing in sad movies, books about famous suicides, dark and melodramatic symphonies, etc. feels "comfortable" when we're depressed, but that kind of mental "diet" is NOT helping us pull out of our temporary darkness, our hopeless phase.
Instead of bashing yourself when you're already down, make a list of the GOOD things you are doing:
1) You are pumping. That takes a lot of effort. YAY for you!
2) You are using the CGM. More effort. Take a bow.
3) You are testing four times per day. That's more work. GOOD.
So you're not perfect. Who is ?!?!!!??
I applaud your efforts and know that you are doing a lot of work in the face of this nasty disease. Give yourself a certificate, a dozen roses and a hug. We can all do better. Every one of us COULD do better. But if your endo only had negative things to say (? or was that just the depression talking ?) then he should take a walk in your shoes one week and see how hard it is -- and how hard you're working.
If you're seriously worried about being a burden to your husband, try thinking of one especially nice thing you could do for him each day. If the nurturing and caring is flowing both ways, then there should be no question of things being unbalanced. As a side benefit, thinking about nice things to do for other people is a good way to distract ourselves from our negative thoughts; it helps love flow through us and lift our spirits on the way through.