I have a four-month-old now and I'm finding it very challenging to manage my diabetes. I am also working. I don't have time to cook much and I've been negligent about testing. The lack of sleep over the past few months hasn't helped. I eat when I can, on the run, and so it's hard to do the usual "figure out what your're going to eat and then bolus 20 minutes beforehand." I also have little time to exercise. On the plus side, there are lots of joys. And a walk pushing a stroller is a good workout when I can do it.
I finally looked my son in the eye and said "I promise to do better" because I know I have to do it for him.
Sometimes we have to make hard choices, or get very creative in our solutions. Since your health and your baby are non-negotiable, what about your job? Do you have to work? Really think about this question. Can you cut your hours?
The path you are on will only lead to a major meltdown, or worse. Every new parent struggles to get enough rest, but for diabetics it’s so much more crucial. And you have to have time to plan meals and do self-care. Without the proper rest your brain won’t work, at home or work.
Do you have a family member who can help with the baby so you can rest more? Do you have a friend or family member who can help with preparing meals, or grocery shopping, or laundry, or any of the 1,000 other things you need to do every day?
There are no quick fixes for this problem. You must get proper rest. You can’t play Russian roulette with your health or your baby. If you keep going the way you’re going, you will start resenting your baby or your situation. Try and brainstorm with your husband/partner to find solutions that work for you. You can have everything, but not always at the same time. Good luck.
Maria,
As a mother to 3 boys under 10 years old I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed! The only thing I can say that might help is that it gets easier as they get older…4 months is hard! My kids were definitely my motivation to “do better” and some days I do, and others not so much! Don’t beat yourself up, take it one day at a time and remember that sometimes you have to let the baby cry so you can take care of yourself-we mamas are not very good at that but I think I’m finally figuring that out with my 3rd…
Thank you for these replies. I’m not sure that I see how losing my income and my health insurance would help my situation. And I’ve read everything I can get my hands on about diabetes and reading is a big luxury these days. But I do see that planning and being more pro-active is in order. And letting the baby cry so that I can cook/check my blood sugar/whatever is what I need to do. My husband helps a lot but he has a busy job and I try not to ask too much of him. I was rather hoping that support would help me feel supported enough to make the hard decisions.
Maria
Congratulations on your baby! Firstly, I do not have children yet so you can tell me that my advice is rubbish if you want! I am expecting in Feb and have thought about this a lot! I remember my sister at home with her daughter when she was 3 months old. My sister was still in pyjamas at 3pm and her husband running around the place, neither having eaten yet that day! I know, this is probably so common but let’s face it, having diabetes does not allow to do it! I was horrified that day and now being pregnant, I am thinking that it will simply not be possible to allow that happen. My husband will be working and I will be at home alone after our little one arrives. I also work full time but will have 6 months maternity leave.
So, my plan is. Cook huge amounts of food (buy a chest freezer if you need to) and every few weeks get someone else to look after baby while you cook and fill the freezer. Bolognese sauce, stew, shepherds pie for dinners and soups for lunch. These all freeze well.
Not sure if my advice is any use but thats my plan anyway! Good luck with everything.
Maybe you can cook up a few staples and keep in tupperware in the fridge. I use Goya’s black bean recipe on the back of their dried black beans (add jalapeno pepper, a little canned diced tomato to the recipe), also use the canned black beans with same recipe to save time. This lasts all week. I do the same with spagetti sauce and meatballs. No baby in our house but there are times I can’t cook. Quinoa pasta is good on blood sugars so she can have spagetti and meatballs. Chicken marsala is fast, and can keep in the fridge. Keep healthy options you can grab without cooking in the fridge, hummus, yogurt. Nuts. soups and stews or dishes made in the crockpot can last more than one day. Rotisserie chicken can be for no cook nights. Testing does not take long. When you get up to feed the baby, test yourself as well. Let the housework go if you must.
id suggest food wise buying some Meal Replacment Bars! there not the best thing in the world and they cant replace food but for a mommy on the go that has diabetes they could be helpful… http://www.bodybuilding.com/store/supreme/supremebars.html These ive tried and there great with medium carbs
I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed. I had to put my 2 in daycare at 4 and 5 months so that I could go back to work. My husband was very helpful with so much (shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc). I did not have diabetes at the time and I can only imagine how much tougher that can make everything because you are not getting the rest you need, ever.
Have you tried using a sling to carry the baby around when you are doing stuff in the house? And/or a walk. That really quiets them down, or so I found with mine. Because you work you have to deal with all kinds of guilt issues, you’re really tired, and I completely understand about not wanting to hear a baby crying. We are programmed to respond to a baby crying. But if they are physically close to you they feel more secure. And you can feel like you are bonding to them to repair that break during the day and the guilt.
As for testing, it takes what, all of 2 seconds? Make those two seconds, the same way you make some more minutes to take a shower. The baby will survive. When I had a second child I was a lot more blase about taking a few minutes to do what I had to do, and knowing that nothing catastrophic would happen during those short periods. It’s much harder when you’re a new mother, I know. I went through that too.
Believe me I understand how you feel. It IS tough but it is very good that you were smart enough to reach out to others, I became much more isolated because I didn’t know what I needed to do. Family was and is 3000 miles away. None of my friends had children yet when I had my first AND my second. And the mothers I saw in the pump room at work lived no where near me. You are starting off on the right foot by admitting that you can’t do it all – and you can’t. You have to make split-second decisions about most everything when you become a parent, and being able to digest this radically new existence along with a mode of operating that can only be referred to as improvisational without a net is a life-altering experience!
My recommendation is strictly from the perspective of an outsider, never having had children. My nephew and his wife had their first child and were very protective of her. They were able with their differing schedules to have one of them home a lot of the time, and the rest the only helper they allowed was the maternal grandmother. Now Cooper is 2 1/2 and that grandmother is burnt out and they are a bit tired of having her around. I live in walking distance, have lots of free time, and have offered to babysit several times. They reassured me that it wasn’t personal but that they didn’t feel comfortable leaving her with anyone else. Now they just had another baby a bit closer than they had planned to her older sister. Hopefully they will be a bit more relaxed and accept outside help. So that’s my “outsiders” advice: accept help!
I also agree with the people who said to prepare large amounts of food ahead and freeze it. When I was working fulltime and teaching 2 courses at night, that’s what I did so I could have a good tasting and nutritious meal in the time it took to heat in the microwave.
Remember the airline rule: Put on your oxygen first so you can then be in shape to assist your children. I grew up with a mother that ignored her own needs to care for her children. It didn’t work well for any of us. (and she didn’t have diabetes!). Finally, since I know from my friends/family that having a newborn is inevitably stressful time, do something nice for yourself whether it is closing your eyes with headphones and the sound of the ocean, or picking up a new color nailpolish along with all the diapers! Oh, and congratulations!
Congratulations! I’m a mother of two children…4 and 9. There is already a lot of really good advice here and I apologize if I am repeating it. But I can tell you my experience in hopes you find something that will work for you. Wasn’t diagnosed with diabetes with my first child, although I had to watch my blood sugars my entire pregnancy. I was diagnosed when she was 1 year and I had my son after I diagnosed with Type 1. I don’t work, so I am sure that this is something that is an extra load on you. You should be commended on your efforts to balance it all PLUS diabetes. Having said that, some of the things I learned are, my diabetes is a top priority. If I am out of commission, we all suffered. So the baby crying for a few minutes for you to check yourself or treat a low will seem awful, but necessary. You could always put the baby in a bassinet or baby seat close to you and still talk to him. When I was nursing, I had a basket close to me that had essentials, like juice boxes, granola bars, glucose tabs, my meter, the phone and remote. When I cooked (especially on the weekends), I cooked simple things and made larger portions to freeze and on the really crazy days when there was nothing in the freezer…it was a breakfast for dinner. One of my favorite go to recipes was for lentil soup that took 30 minutes, start to finish (including prep time) and I would eat it with cheese, chicken andouille sausage (precooked) or grilled cheese and a salad if I was hungrier…and it freezes great! I always kept a supply of snacks that consisted of nuts, granola bars, yogurt, crackers and cheese sticks because I knew how well I would do with those items.
I also learned that not everything will get done. There were days it looked like a tornado swept through the house. I did what I could and put the important things first. As your baby gets older, it gets a easier little by little. For me, it was around age 3 where I really started to feel some relief and by age four…well, it’s tremendously better. If you have people offering help, find something you can delegate.
Oh, one more thing that made a big difference for me was, my husband made sure that once I take my insulin for a meal that we were eating together, he makes sure that he takes care of the kids and what they need.
Hi Maria. First of all, congratulations on your new baby! I’ve had T1 for 30 years…diagnosed at age 3. I am mom to a 2 1/2 year old and 8 month old twins. So, I totally understand! My advice is to absolutely test, test, test. It’s the first thing I do in the AM…even if a baby is crying. I never eat without testing either. And since you have the Paradigm, you might want to look into the cgms? Also, I came up with some super healthy, quick and easy staple recipes. I make enough so my hubby and I can eat it for dinner and eat it for lunch the next day. Or, eat it for several dinners. Like others have said, 4 months is tough and your little one WILL sleep through the night eventually! My twins sleep 7:30pm-6:30am these days! Yay!!! Just make sure you take care of yourself…I know it’s hard but your baby needs you. Feel free to send me a friend request if you want to “talk” more. Warmest wishes to you…~Pam
Pam,
I’m writing a book about women with diabetes and would love to use your advice on my chapter about motherhood. Could I interview you about your experiences as a mom with type 1?
Hang in there things get so much easier. I am a mom of a 11yr and 9 yr and have been diabetic way before they were born. It may seem tough but you learn to live for your children and no one else. As they get older they learn what all you do for this disease. They also learn to help you and monitor you because they think it there job to keep you healthy it is quite cute to watch. But just remember how precious you baby is and that can give you all the motivation you will ever need.
And I’ve read everything I can get my hands on about diabetes and reading is a big luxury these days. But I do see that planning and being more pro-active is in order. And letting the baby cry so that I can cook/check my blood sugar/whatever is what I need to do. My husband helps a lot but he has a busy job and I try not to ask too much of him. I was rather hoping that support would help me feel supported enough to make the hard decisions.