Anger. Frustration. Fear. Terror. Sadness. Tears. Overwhelmed. Frustrated.
Yes, that was frustrated twice. As a parent, there is nothing worse than when a child lies to you. I know we have all done it. As a child, you seem to have to try to see what you can get away with. You want to make your parents happy so why show them some of the ugly reality? Besides, they tend to get mad and you get in trouble.
As a parent, its a knife in the heart. Its that perfect little person that you held in your arms those first few months and promised you would protect at all costs. That perfect little child grows and will tell you what they think you want to hear and the hurt when you find out its not true cuts you to the core.
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Diabetes Nazi Mom
You are really a warm, caring mom. I have lived with type one for 42 years, we did not have any of the tools that we have now for good control… and most of us made it out ok. Most lows DO NOT lead to “death in bed” nor to a hspital say. You did not ndicate wheter he is hypoiunaware, not whether the misreported readings were low or high…The more you “punish” your son, the mnore he will wat to lie to you and make up numbers. As an athlete, It is important that he makes sure that his numbers are not too low. does he carb load or adjust basals prior to exercising?> He IS on a pump?. Has he ever been around any other teens with diabetes, or met any other athletes with diabetes, check out the JDRF in your city or your children’s hospital for support groups, Your son needs to know that he is NOT the only one. And I assure you, continuing to be the diabetes “Nazi Mom” willk push him into more rebellion. Does he like to use the Internet.? I think there is a teen chat room on the CWD ( children with diabetes) website. some times it is easier for teens to hear about good contol tech bniques from someone other than mom.
As a T1 who once was a teen … I wasn’t perfect. I survived lots of hypos at and away from home. Your son will too. Neither your son nor I are “immortal” but we’ll survive.
I’m not sure you’re old enough to remember the movie “Steel Magnolias” but I remember seeing it decades ago and I freaked out at the hypo scenes. But you know what? I’ve had hypos worse than that, and I did survive. It’s not anything I would wish on anyone else, but they’ll survive too.
Thank you everyone for your sound advice and comments.
I do pray that my son will survive. He is not aware of lows at night and that terrifies me. The lower he gets, the more peaceful he appears and while DiB may be rare, I have personally lost friends to it and that adds to my fear.
My son is a pumper and has been very good about testing when exercising (with Mom’s guidance). The desire to leave diabetes at home has been an issues that we dealt with previously. I had received guidance on the issue from a very well known and well educated psychologist. His belief is that not taking care of your diabetes should receive the exact same discipline as not doing your homework. In my house, lying is lying and will be punished. I have never focused on the numbers as anything but tools and he knows that. He knows that he will NOT be punished for highs or lows. He is and was reminded that we are a team and I cannot do my job without data. Only he can provide that for me when he is not around.
My son has been around many children with diabetes but is not a social child. He has learned more from the adults in these sessions but with time, his teen brain seems to forget what he learned. When this issue first arose last year, he was in a classroom filled with children he had literally known all of his life. He has had diabetes since he was 2 so neither he nor his peers were new to the routine. He is in a new school now and I have stressed that having even one friend or teacher that you tell about the disease can only help you if you get in trouble health wise.
For those who wondered, no I did not freak out in front of my son. I saved all of my venting for my blog and our conversation was serious but calm. He did not realize that he had fallen asleep when low and hopefully we have worked out a system now that will work for us. The “punishment” that was given is the only thing that he currently cares about. It is equivalent to taking away an iPod or X-box for him. He still has many other outlets to continue to workout. I am hoping the short term reminders will help him to get back on track and in the habit of testing.
Again thank you for the thoughts and taking time to make suggestions!