Diabetic Couples: Do any other diabetic couples exist?

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Questions:

1. Are there any other couples out there where both of you have diabetes? What Type(s)? How long?

2. What are some of your challenges and successes, as a couple, in light of the fact that both of you need to give attention to managing diabetes?

3. What encouragement and support do you contribute to your loved one's efforts to manage their own diabetes? And, what do you receive from your spouse?

4. How do you manage the on-going costs of doctor visits, meter strips, insulin, medications, etc., with both of you needing extra medical care?

5. What kinds of diabetes complications are you contending with, and how are you doing as a couple, as you try to live with them?

About Us:

I've had T1 since age 35 (now 53). My husband and I surmised during the end of May (2010) that he's gone from glucose "challenged" to T2 (at age 53). I gave him my old glucose meter and he's been counting carbs since he began feeling fatigued after eating carb-loaded meals. A BGL of 227 is the highest so far. Using what we know in managing T1, we've learned his body can't handle but a little of carb-packed foods (potatoes, ice cream, pasta). So, he's been able to keep the numbers down and his energy up. Of course, it will be an on-going effort for him, and for me as his support. (He's a responsible, mature man, so, of course it isn't like supporting a child or teen.)

My main man, er, support, has been my husband. He's learned nearly as much as I have about Type 1 and its management, over the 13 years we've been together. And now, both of us get to know more about Type 2 and its management than we ever imagined or wanted to. "Sigh" (His dad and my mom had T2, so we have some familiarity with the disease.)

I imagine we'll gain a a better understanding of some of the differences between the two diseases - and the differences in management - than most people. I don't recall asking for this assignment!

I wonder if I should share my food scale with him or get him his own? (laughing!) Actually, we've been sharing it on and off for awhile, when he's kept track of his calories and carbs to loose weight. Turns out that his weight problem might be due to the suspected prediabetes he's had for a long time.

Anyway, let's see what we can learn from one another as we contribute our input!

Take care,

Teresa

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  1. I’m a Type 2, and so is he.
  2. I’ve lost 70 lbs, and he has lost about 30.
  3. It’s a struggle when your partner loves and misses junk food so much, that sometimes… We have to manage and make concessions here and there. Bargaining for what groceries we buy is a huge deal, sometimes. I do give him a lot of encouragement with his numbers, and he gets so excited to see the really low numbers, and he also helps me come up with dish ideas sometimes, with lower carbs. I’ve taught him to carb count, and he helps me not be so afraid of food, sometimes… that I can portion it out, and carb count it. We can talk about struggles with those who don’t get it, or at restaurants, or with meters… Or have a good laugh at idiots.
  4. Right now, none of us is employed… it’s difficult. I get help from friends and family, when I can… and his father in law gets him strips sometimes. Friends on TuD have helped me immensely.
  5. As far as complications, we do not know for certain yet, as we don’t have insurance… But I am pretty sure he has some degree of neuropathy going on in his legs, issues with ulcers that don’t heal, vertigo/balance issues, etc. I used to have 20/15 vision… I’m not sure I do anymore… but can’t tell without a proper eye exam. One day, we’ll be in a good spot again… It just might take a lot longer than we’d like. I try to be as patient as I can, and deal with his pains and aches… but I also remind him that things won’t be better if we don’t commit to working on it, together…
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Hi Teresa
1.Me T1 for 27 years, My OH T1 20 years

2.Challenges: different styles of looking after our condition, though we don’t tend to cross manage (too much) LoL and simultaneous hypo, that’s always fun ha ha ha
Successes: Someone right on hand who physically understands that though you don’t look sick, sometimes Highs and lows make you feel dreadful, We are tuned in to each others lows and usually spot them before the sufferer

  1. What encouragement and support do you contribute to your loved one’s efforts to manage their own diabetes? And, what do you receive from your spouse?
    Really it’s the same as the successes, erm… I gently push him to medicate with lucozade rather than choc as it acts faster, he will run to the cupboard for me too if my sugar is low. He is a more prolific tester than me so his testing prompts me, I usually keep an eye on whether he does or doesn’t do his insulin after food too, as he is quite forgetful, and it’s dreadful when you double dose or forget and have a crippling high :oS.

  2. We live in the UK so we don’t have the medical cost

  3. So far I have been rather lucky, as has my partner, as neither of us suffer from and complications that we know of.

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My husband and I are both T2. He is on insulin and I take metformin. We are both 56. It is hard for both of us to turn the carbs down. We have insurance that helps with our costs, however, we have looked for new insurance and find that no one wants us . . . I think we both encourage one another but don’t smother each other - however, I do nag him a bit because he doesn’t have his labs done often enough.

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Emmy, thanks for the link to the “Married with Diabetes” group. Of course, it includes those couples where one has D and the other doesn’t (which was the two of us for a long time). I read a bunch this morning, and learned a bunch too. Thanks, again!

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Hi, Debby. My husband can relate to the challenge of turning-down the carbs. Maybe you know all of the following, but I’ll go ahead and provide it for those who are just beginning to learn some important details about T2, like us. (And, actually some of this relates to T1s too.) …

We recently learned the carb craving occurs in T2s because the body is starving for energy and initiates hunger. (It’s also why T1s crave carbs when their blood glucose is low.) There’s alot more complexity behind that simple statement, of course.

The carbs eaten, which turn into glucose during digestion to provide a form of energy for the body, aren’t able to be fully be used by the cells (in T1s and T2s); the cells can’t effectively and optimally do “their thing” without extra assistance of the person in that body.

In T2s the body produces insulin, in response to the glucose (T1s bodies don’t produce insulin - most don’t, anyway). Depending on the individual body, an amount of insulin continues to float around in the bloodstream, unused, because cell receptors for the insulin are missing or broken. The unused insulin, it has been discovered, may be one of the culprits of a T2s difficulty in maintaining healthy weight. Also, the starving-for-glucose cells, cause carb craving. Then, add to the mix, the fact that as we age our digestion and other systems get less efficient… and we can put on weight for a myriad of reasons (thyroid slow-down, among them).

Sooo, both my husband and I do our best to eat less carbs and calories, try to maintain good nutritional input (a few supplements), stay relatively active (avoid being sedentary), and enjoy what we can - around the disciplines of our respective diabetes issues. And, as we age and our health slows further, we’ll try to adapt. But, I have to admit that adapting is so much harder the older I get. It’s as if my brain is getting stiff along with my joints! HA!

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Lou, I’m so in awe of you and your husband - BOTH of you with T1, and “hanging in there” together! I’m not so easy to live with at times, and my husband can often tell when my BGL is out-of-whack. He sometimes helps, when I’m obviously debilitated.

Putting aside diabetes for a moment… most of my heritage is English, Irish, Scottish and Dutch (though our family has been in the U.S. for many generations). So, it is WONDERFUL to communicate with someone from the U.K.! I’m glad your healthcare is covered, but aren’t your taxes terribly high? As you probably know, our country is struggling with the issue.

Oh! I just looked at the time. Gotta get to the post office before it closes!

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What a great post. We are a “T” couple in our house now. I have had Type 1 for 38 years. Just two years prior to us getting married.

Just this past New Year I notice him sleeping a little more, stopping to pee more often and not quite feeling himself. I knew immediatly what was happening to him. I made the Dr. appointment, gave him my old meter and had him test ever before the appointment. He is very good about testing, taking his med, but he just does not get the food thing yet and how it effects him. But he is trying very hard.

He has been a major supporter for me. He has picked me up off the floor after a major Hypo. He recognizes the differance between high and low, and what my needs are. He has supported me about my entire recent pump process.

My opportunity in this “T” couple world is for me…NOT BE A DIABETIC POLICE. Help him to make the right food choices. I will get it eventually.

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Hey there, you hit the nail on the head, we just hang in there :0)
It’s weird as I don’t really think about the tax, it just is if you see what I mean and nearly everyone gets good health care from it (sounds terribly utopian) on the other hand if we didn’t pay tax then I think alot of people would fall through then health care net.
Most people pay a fee for prescribed medicines too but T1’s are exempt
I’d love to keep in touch x

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Thanks!

Kerry Cater
Wayne, NY