Spouse of a newly diagnosed Type 1

Hello! My husband was diagnosed with Type 1 at the beginning of last month, needless to say we were both a little shocked and of course as you all know life has not been the same since. I decided to join your community because my husband joined and thought I would find it helpful. I am a little ashamed to admit that I myself am a registered nurse (mostly in OB) and found it absolutely astounding at how little I knew/know about Type 1. I have had to reopen my medical library and do some research and I thought it would be beneficial to gain knowledge from people who experience it firsthand, so that is another reason I joined. I could not be more proud of my husband, he has taken the news as well as one can in this situation and has gone above and beyond to take steps in the direction to maintain his health. That is the kind of man he is, always trying to stay ahead of the game and provide the best possible outcome with everything in our lives. I hope he knows how much I love him. And on that note I was hoping that if anyone had any advice for me as far as being a spouse to someone with Type 1 I would appreciate and welcome any and all advice. Thank you for welcoming me so nicely into your community.

Welcome to TuD, Shelly and you both sound like you are dealing with this admirably! It definitely is a lifechanger, but there is no reason your husband can't live his life, doing all the things he wants as he did before Type 1. And don't feel bad, we have all found that medical professionals know shockingly little about Type 1.

Every couple and every person is, of course, different, in how they deal with their D (and their approach to challenges in general). Some people on here have reported frustration that their spouses weren't more involved and more supportive in their management. Others have been annoyed at what felt like unwanted interference ("Are you sure you should eat that, dear; what is your blood sugar, you're acting a bit testy, etc".) I've seen spouses come on here who seemed to think they could save their partner and do it for them (I'm glad to hear he has signed in as well). Imho the best way to help a loved one (with anyproblem) is to ask, "how can I help?" in general, and as time passes specific questions, such as "do you want me to tell you when I think you are low from your behavior (and how should I tell you), would you prefer I come to medical appointments or not; what have you decided to eat and how can I help you with that plan", etc.

Again, welcome!

hi Shelly, we have another Group here for family members besides the ones you've joined

http://www.tudiabetes.org/group/typeiiidiabetes

please join it, and feel free to ask questions and join any interesting discussions.

Welcome Shelly! I was diagnosed Type 1 25 years ago at the age of 27; at the time of diagnosis, we had been married only 3 years. I don't know how I would have made it though all these years of D without the support of my sweet hubby.

I think the thing that I appreciate most about my hubby when it comes to my diabetes care on a day to day basis is his sense of humor. We balance each other out with most things - I tend to be the worrier, the planner, the organizer; He is the lighthearted, spontaneous one. When I get frustrated with my D and everything's out of whack, I can always count on him to make me smile. So I guess I'd say rule #1 is to keep a sense of humor about it all.

The 2nd most important thing I'd suggest is to never judge, no matter what. There will be times that your husband is doing everything right, by the book, and what works one day will not work the next day, even with the same food at the same time with the same schedule. Here at Tu, we like to say it's the Diabetes gremlins at work! :) But never assume that he must have done something to throw things out of whack. Even my endo will sometimes tell me (jokingly of course) "you're giving me a migraine" because sometimes D just defies logic.

Other things off the top of my head might be:
-Learn your husbands physical signs of lows and pay attention if he seems snappy or sleepy or just out of it. Sometimes spouses will pick up on low or high blood sugar before the PWD. I can't tell you how many times my husband has suggested, gently of course :), I test and he's always right even though I would have denied it.

-Find the foods that work for your husband blood sugar wise and have the whole family eat that way much of the time - it's alot easier and it's healthier for everyone anyway.

-Get a glucagon kit and be familiar with it. This should be an easy one for you since you're in the medical field. My husband has only had to give me a glucagon injection once in 25 years but that one time, he probably saved my life.

My husband was diagnosed as a type 2 last month so I'm sure we are going through some similar feelings. Like yours, my hubby is ahead of the game and can be annoyingly upbeat! I found it very difficult at the beginning but things are much easier now. This site and the people have been great, I'm learning a lot and have managed to get used to low carb meals using substitutions. My only grievance is that he is losing weight (not that he needs to) and is passing all those pesky fat cells on to me... lol