I have to admit, I have always been a moody person. There are some days when I am not sure what kind of mood I will wake up in. It’s something that has always annoyed me and made me feel a little bit insane. But it is also what makes me well me. I was extremely moody this last weekend, very antisocial, annoyed with anyone and anything around me, just plain moody. I realized a trend. When my blood sugars are acting up and all over the place my emotions tend to do the same thing. Last week I mentioned I have been having a hard time with my numbers due to this insane summer heat. Well, the chaos of my numbers has finally affected my mood. And as much as I hate to admit that my diabetes affects my behavior, it does.
Since I have had diabetes I have gotten a lot more in tune with my body. However, it has taken years to get there. My mood usually will dictate where my blood sugar levels are. If I feel irritated, have high anxiety, or could just started bawling my eyes out I most likely have low blood sugars. I will never forget my most emotional break down due to diabetes. I was putting gas in my car, realized I had low blood sugars and went inside to grab a soda. I rarely carry cash on me, and chose to use my debit card. Big mistake, not thinking clearly I punched in my husbands pin number, not mine. Our bank locked my card down after the third attempt and I was not able to pay for the soda I so desperately needed. When the clerk looked into my eyes and said she was sorry, but my card wasn’t going through I had a total and complete breakdown. As my throat began to tighten and tears began to fill my eyes, I apologized to the woman behind the counter and said I had low blood sugars and couldn’t understand why my card wasn’t working. She looked at me with empathy and gave me my soda for free. I couldn’t thank her enough; I got back into my car, drank down my soda, and calmed myself down. I was so embarrassed by my reaction, but there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Low blood sugars are not the only time I become moody. When my blood sugars are sky high I become an introvert and want nothing to do with the outside world. I just want to sit in front of the TV and make it through the day. Usually I become annoyed with whoever is around me. One day my blood sugars were getting particularly high and nothing was bringing them down. My sister was worried about me because the only thing I wanted to do was lay in bed all day and mope. We watched my blood sugars for about an hour and when my numbers kept creeping higher my sister wanted to take me to the ER. I remember barking at her about how that was the dumbest thing I had ever heard of, but agreed to let her take me to the urgent care. I grumpily got into her car and hunched over in my seat. When I finally decided to lift my head we were pulling into the hospital parking lot. I was furious, I remember telling the front desk girl how ridiculous my sister was being, then telling her I wasn’t feeling well and that someone else could fill out my forms. My sister was handling the situation very well considering everything I had to say to her was putting her down (which I feel terrible about now, even though I would never have admitted that to her then). Thankfully she had done the right thing by taking me to the hospital. They flushed the sugar from my system and slowly the dark cloud hanging over me was lifting.
Over the years of diabetes I have learned the signs of my blood sugars going out of range. For lows you have the shakes, sweats, disorientation, and the ability to throw a fit in a matter of seconds. For high blood sugars my skin dries out, my mouth dries out, I have to pee every five seconds, and I become very irritable. It’s definitely been a road of trial and error and really learning to listen to my body
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