Inside a different discussion thread came another topic. Please answer this question, as I believe it is an important one.
A member asked: “When you think of your diabetes do you personify it? Give it a face? Talk to it? Get angry with it. I am curious.”
Thanks!
To me, No, it doesn’t have a face or a personality- if that’s what you mean.
For me, it’s “myself”. When I’m angry at T1, I guess I’m angry at myself. When I don’t want to test, or inject, or am just frustrated, in my mind I KNOW that I’m really punishing MYSELF when I ignore it.
So, I guess T1D is MY alter ego? Like the “bad” side of me that I can’t control or talk to?
Maybe T1D is like your cousin who’s always on drugs. You can get him to talk and act nice sometimes- sometimes he just stares out the window and completely ignores whatever you’re trying to do to help him- and sometimes he lashes out at you for trying to help and gets completely out of control- then you have to bring in the authorities to bring him back under.
Well, I consider it as a close friend that is always with me!! More like two-face in batman!!! LoL
But I never consider D as someone to talk with or blame :o)
I think of it as the guest in my person(being or body) that won’t leave and is going to destroy the place unless I keep it happy. You can talk to it but as it has never listened so I gave that up years ago. It has let its nasty friends in the door and they won’t leave either. I don’t think of it as having a face or even a personality. But it is difficult to keep happy and when it is mad it stays that way for a while.
Another way I have thought about it is the gang next door that takes shots through the wall at me. Diabetes is the leader and the side effects are the gang. Sometimes you don’t dare leave the house as they might kill you. Other times you are too scared to stay home. And every once in a while they just shoot their guns through the wall. I have gone to the Dr more than once after being hit by these stray bullets. If they get drunk they may slash your tires or key your car(other organs or parts of your body). And to top it off you can’t move. The CDE and Dr are the cops they do what they can but it is up to neighborhood watch to keep them under control. In this scenario I have never looked them in the eye to see their face. Who would dare. I just stay locked in with the TV turned way down as not to make them mad. The TV is my BG I guess. The other neighbors (friends and family) aren’t any help. They say it is my problem.
good analogies. Please look at us as neighbors. We will help you keep the gang at bay.
I have three children for whom I am responsible–I know where they are every minute of the day and what they are doing. A boy, a girl, and the Big D. Keeping them all alive and well is what I’m all about! Oh, a wet nose just reminded it is actually four I’m responsible for… here is a photo of my 8-year-old “puppy” who pulled the toilet tissue all the way down the stairs from the upstairs bathroom yesterday while I was on a phone call!
I curse at it…" You %@*&% Diabetes!" Then, I do what I have to do. and move forward. Only when it is giving me a bad bs day! Other then that …no.
To me diabetes is like having blue eyes and (mostly) brown hair, it just what I got dealt. I don’t get angry at D per se, but I do get frustrated when things don’t work “right”. I test and I’m at 300 when it shouldn’t be, those are the ones that frustrate me. I’ll say a few choice words and then fix it.
For me, anyway, I find it dangerous to personify it. If I do that then I might start wanting to get “even” with that SOB, oh say, by not taking my insulin, not checking my sugars, trying to ignore it. There are times when I have just been in “cruise control” mode, doing everything I was supposed to, but not actively managing the condition. It had become habit and that was when I’d have the high A1c, the high morning numbers etc.
As has been said, it’s all day, every day and so are my devilish good looks…
/wink
Scott
It kind of reminds me of an annoying houseguest. It’s pretty annoying, but for the most part you can deal, as long as you’re cordial to each other. Then, out of nowhere, you get a random, stubborn high blood sugar. It’s like the equivalent of the house guest saying, “Hey, I used your toothbrush. I hope you don’t mind.” Those two things REALLY ■■■■ me off. haha, but for the most part, you deal with it because you have to, just like you would if you had someone you didn’t like living with you.
I do talk to my diabetes, or rather, I yell at it. I kind of localize it and just yell at my pancreas, just so I have some where concrete to focus on. I know that my pancreas is busy doing other things, but since that’s where the problem is, that’s where I like to direct my angry thoughts. This way i don’t feel like I’m yelling at myself too much, and I still have a place to vent my anger (stupid pancreas why can’t you just work right!!!)
Scott,
You are a good lookin little devil, if I may so! lol
you may! you may!
I give it this face it helps me to pray.
i give it the face of my meter. i want to chuck it out the window when it tells me my BG’s are 151 or higher. then i want to do the same when my BG’s are 70 or lower. then when it’s normal for a long time i want to hug both my meter and my pump. it is like that annoying little brother that just won’t shut up about anything.
After 32 years with this disease it’s difficult to separate myself from it. I mean, it’s part of who I am, it’s shaped my personality and the choices I made throughout my life. It doesn’t define me, I have lot’s of other nuances but it’s part of the big picture.
thanks Danny!