I always eat low-carb and rarely am a guest at someone’s house for a formal dinner. But I do wonder, what is a diabetic to do when invited as a guest for a meal? Are we suppose to eat whatever they fix and just let our sugars go high or can we let them know there are certain foods we can’t eat? I was a girl’s friend one time and her daddy was a surgeon. He had a fabulous $4 million mansion and they fixed this enormous millionaire’s feast. There was no way I could eat all that food. I had to give a 20 unit bolus to cover it all and that was still not enough and then I ran out off insulin so I couldn’t do a second bolus. They served over 200 grams of carbs for that one supper! There were foods I couldn’t eat like jelly for the biscuits but the daddy offered me the jelly so I felt compelled to eat it. Then there was a sugary fruit salad. I explained to him that I can’t have sugar, but of course, to him, it’s fruit , so it’s ok. So finally I just couldn’t handle anymore food and my sugar felt about 270. He said “You didn’t get any mashed potatoes, did you?” and I politely declined them. Long story short we get in an argument and he says I’m being rude. And he kicked me out of his mansion. Now was I in the wrong here and should have ate everything or what?
The secret is your girlfriend should know about your diabetes, right? Ask her to explain a bit about your diabetes long BEFORE the dinner. If the family knows beforehand, then they don’t have the right to feel offended–it’s THEIR problem if they refuse to accept that you may not eat (or eat a lot of) certain things.
The other half is to let them know of something you can go whole hog for–steak or pork–or whatever (inquire about the planned menu). Then you can heap praise on the thing that you heap on your plate.
It’s completely reasonable, responsible and adult to let them know before the dinner. If you were allergic to peanuts, you’d let them know, wouldn’t you? This is no different.
She took me to their mansion after class one day. I had never met the parents. The dad insisted I eat with them, even after I said “no thanks” and “I’ve already ate”. He said “Well, eat again”. I did let them know I was a diabetic but he wasn’t buying into it too much and into the low-carb “excuse”. The jelly, no, I can’t eat. In hindsight, sure I’d eat the potatoes but it was all too much too fast. The fruit, no to that either, but he said fruit is natural sugar. And yep, he knew I was diabetic. Also, when I told him I was a type 1 diabetic, he said “Well, I guess you won’t be having kids then.” And he kept going on about how I couldn’t have kids being a diabetic. Honestly, I think he was trying to get me away from his daughter and get rid of me. He did a good job.
I’m just honest with people. I tell them I can’t eat whatever it is because it will send my blood sugar skyrocketing or because it will cause (or risk) an allergic reaction. Due to food allergies, it’s nearly impossible for me to eat at anyone’s home without them preparing something separately for me (which I have had offered), and if that’s the case and it includes something like rice, I’ll eat at least some of it and bolus for it. Like @Timbeak48, if I’m invited somewhere I let them know about my allergies beforehand, or will get the name of a restaurant where an event is being held to contact them ahead of time (I don’t usually go into diabetes just because allergies carry a much higher risk, and also many meals that are allergy-friendly for me happen to also be diabetes-friendly). Usually, I eat beforehand and often bring my own food as backup in case there’s nothing I can safely eat. Diabetes is a lot easier than allergies because in most cases it’s possible to eat at least a small portion, but with allergies the foods can’t even touch the plate or other food. In the end, I’m not willing to risk my health just because it’s a social tradition to accept food. I’m not rude about it, but if someone decides to be offended, I’d rather them be offended than having to deal with a health crisis for the next six hours because I decided to eat something due to social pressure. I should note that I wasn’t born with this attitude. I learned it the hard way: after eating foods people insisted were safe and having dangerous allergic reactions or eating something I knew would not be good for my blood sugar and then spending hours battling dangerous swings high or low. Now, it’s just not worth the risk, and I’m comfortable telling people that.
Situations with food have come up at lot in my 22 years as a type 1. I have been told I was “rude” on several occasions. I don’t think passing up certain foods is rude. There are food allergies, religious restrictions, other diseases, etc. Diabetes isn’t the only issue that can come up when it comes to food.
I guess as a safe, last resort to just not go to the person’s house. Like I won’t eat pizza ever so I wouldn’t go to a pizza party.
Sounds like it was HIM and not you, so I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. Any girlfriend who wouldn’t defend my position in this situation is (for me) a deal-breaker. I want a woman who fights for what is right for US–and sometimes that is fighting for what is right for ME. I would fight for what is right for HER. That’s the type of woman (and man) people are looking for in relationships. When you feel THAT way about someone, you’ve got a keeper.
I think it is rude to try to force people to eat food they are denied because of diet restrictions. I just eat the meat and vegetables, will take a small portion of potato of pastry but leave most of it on the side of my plate.
Desserts can be tricky, mainly because I love them, but again I plead being too full up to eat more than the smallest portion.
yeah they had a crap ton of food. I’m surprised they weren’t fat people. but I had to bolus over 20 units of insulin, so that goes to show you about how many carbs it was. my ex-best friend and I would go in on food together. we were like room mates because I was always at his house. He didn’t practice any of that fancy crap onto me. We just ate whatever we wanted.
Haven’t found a worthwhile woman yet. Most of the ones who agree to date me make me get rid of my pump and do pens. I think I’m hanging out with some shallow people.
You have a vivid imagination.
How so?
You dodged a bullet there. Good riddance of him I say! If he was trying to pressure you into food you declined, what other things would he have pressured you about? Seriously, you can get to know a person really well real fast by the way they respect or disregard your preferences or needs. You were not rude and if it had been me in that situation, I would have excused myself early on. When people care about you they will accomodate you, not get pushy.
I have no problem, whatsoever choosing the amount of food to eat. I don’t remember if your plate was made up or not. I mean, if there were a number of dishes on the table, I’d just take from the ones I choose.
If I prebolused I would be able to estimate an amount of carbs to be in the ball park. And if the host or other guests insist I try a food not D friendly, I have no problem remaining polite and courteous while telling them of my health concerns.
Incidentally, there’s many a time when presented with a deluge of yummy desserts, that I would allow myself just a sliver of cake, etc. If my bolus needed to be adjusted, so be it. Been there, done it dozens of times.
As for this surgeon, he sounds insensitive and ignorant. The world is full of people like him.
Anyway, Cocheze, here’s to better dining experiences!
My plate wasn’t made for me but I would get just a very little bit of some stuff and he’d be like “Get more than that!”. It was just a 1 in a trillion chance event I think. Hopefully it’s not a typical way that people treat their diabetic guests at dinner.