Eating out...what do you do? (Type II on meds)

Saturdays are girls day for stamping and having lunch together. I am NOT going to give up this ritual just because I am diabetic.

So we went to a restaurant that has all sorts of meals and many of them would be okay, they do make every effort to accommodate us and our food needs. So I picked a chef salad, took out the egg, left on the cheese, had the ham and rest were vegies, no dressing. I had a small bisquit with a little butter, and then another woman ordered appetizers. You know the ones, fried, fried, fried…everything. I was fine with HER ordering it, but not with me eating it, so I pushed my chair away from the table just enough that it would be a stretch to reach for them. So I figured with the salad I had my 30 carbs for lunch with 15 left over just in case. Well, I reached, and it was four mushrooms, two chedder bites, and a potatoe wedge. So how do I count that, all fried of course? I am counting it 30 more carbs and hoping that comes close.

So here’s my question, since I can’t do anything about it today, and this is just a “practice” week on new meds, and new dietary plan. What do you do when you go out to eat; and you aren’t in charge of picking the place; people order things to share; and you have to go along with it…not necessarily eat it, but do go along. Funny thing is all three of us today are diabetics. But how do you plan and count for that?

I’ll be fine, pork with no fat for dinner, a salad, jello and a bowl of vegetables. But shoot, do I have to give up a social life, too?

Don’t give up your social life!

Be an example to the other diabetics when you go out to eat.
Even if you don’t get to pick the place to eat, you might suggesting skipping the appetizers. Explain to them why. You want to have all your lunch carbs for the meal.

When I go out with friends, many times they will eat healthy because they know I am diabetic and don’t want to tempt me with fried foods. Some of my friends have become healthier eaters because they realize that the diabetic way is a healthier way.

Keep up with your Saturday lunches. Most places have food on the menu we can eat and will adjust an ordrer to your needs.

Have fun and good luck!

Well, this is just my first week eating and acting like a diabetic, before this it was Weight Watchers, and I’ll tell you that it’s not as easy as it looks, so I expected there would be challenges…and this was one. I didn’t fail, I just didn’t get the gold star. Thanks for your advice. I know that these two women are learning an awful lot just being around me.

I also recommend, if you can, looking up the restaurant online before you go (if you have a heads-up about where you’re going). I use sites like Calorie King and Dottie’s Weight Loss Zone. They help me make the best choices between items (the soft tacos are lower carb than the burritos…) and feel more confident about my carb counting (those appetizers are x grams each or I should order the vinaigrette instead of the higher carb dressing).

I agree that peer pressure when dining out is a huge challenge. I’m kind of a creature of habit though, so once I find what I love to order at a place, I often stick to it. That allows me some confidence walking into a meal with friends. I know one friend will always pressure me about dessert, but I can confidently tell him I didn’t account for it this time and will have to pass. And I can order what I know I can eat and love to eat without feeling like I’ve called any attention to myself for my choices.

Cathy, it can be a challenge at times, but once you figure out your needs and limits it gets easier. The fact that the three of you are diabetic only means you have similar concerns. My diabetes is different from your diabetes yours is different from each of your friends. This is one thing with this disease it is individual. Your needs on meds and foods will be different from mine. My boss picked a restaurant for a group meeting after an international conference and I had a bit of a time finding a satisfactory meal, but made out ok maybe a little low on carbs but ok.

I think what bothers me the most about the other two gals is that they ar3 ignoring the “D” the have and going for broke on a by-pass surgery and if she gets as fat as she can, this is her ticket out of problems. The other gal just eats, and then they tease me about being a “born again Diabetic”…it’s all in fun, but I can’t help but to believe that some of it’s not fun, some of it is real. But my life is my own, and I have to protect it as best I can, you are right.

Aberdeen, where I live has only fast food restaurants, and about 10 other full service restaurants, all mom and pop stores. We don’t have many franchises. We are restaurant poor. So many of the places listed on Dotties don’t exist here. SAD to say!

But I will check it out. Calorie King is not a book that I can obtain readily, so will keep trying. I have two excellent ones now, that give me the information I need to get started and be aware. Now it’s time to practice what I have learned.

My guess is because your friends are diabetics who are making very poor choices for themselves, and making snide comments to you that they are not very supportive of your eating well and might even go out of their way to tempt you to make themselves feel better. Not exactly my idea of friends, but they seem to have their own issues (who doesn’t?). Personally I would not be comfortable going out to eat with these friends and might look to get together with them in a different setting. That’s just me.

ON eis highly supportive, yet, she has her own diabetic problems. Like she has low sugars consistently according to the experts, yet a high for me 300 is more like a 120…so we are all different in that. Her doc is working on it with her, could be all sorts of problems. She can eat those things and not suffer the consequences. The other gal, is in denial, and we’ve all been there once or maybe even twice. She has only food in her life that “makes her happy”. It’s a sad situation. She seems to think that weighing over 350 will get her by pass surgery, yet we know it won’t. They are good people, and I am learning. So I wouldn’t throw them out the window yet. There are times, I refuse the invite, and then there are times I accept, because I think I can handle it. This was a surprise situation. I’ll know better next time. As it is I was at 145 in total carbs for the day, so I couldn’t have done too bad.

But what do you do when you go out to eat…sometimes it’s a surprise dinner invite at the end of the work day, sometimes it’s a family thing that is planned, but not as controllable, sometimes it’s just coffee with friends after a movie. How do you plan for the occassions? That’s my problem, not the friends…for right now.

As far as your friends go, Cathy, I would suggest that you encourage them to say the same things about you that they say about them. Say, “we all have different needs and I really need you guys to lay off when I make a food choice that’s right for my body.” There is almost nothing they could say to that without feeling ridiculous.

They aren’t meaning to sabotage you, but just as heavier friends or relatives often subconsciously sabotage one’s efforts to lose weight, friends who aren’t accountable to their own needs are tougher on us when we try to be.

You say you did Weight Watchers, right? There’s always that bank of emergency points. Think of eating out like that. And don’t be afraid to say no sometimes and sometimes, it’s okay to relax and indulge - a little and within reason. If they order something to share, have less. If they suggest you each get pie, offer to split a piece instead. If it’s coffee with friends, have coffee! Eating has been and will always be a social activity for human beings. Maybe you could be more forceful about where you suggest everyone go. If you know the salad at Joe’s local diner has little effect on your blood sugar, offer Joe’s local diner up as a suggestion.

Also, since you live in a town with only a few mom&pop restaurants, have you considered going in during their off hours and talking to one of the cooks about ingredients or portion sizes? I love supporting locally owned restaurants, but it’s so much harder there to estimate carbs. We have a little French cafe in my town and one day, on a whim, I asked if the owner/head chef was in. Asked him anything I could about which breads had the least carbs (he didn’t know) or the least sugar (he knew that one). When he didn’t have the info I really wanted, I explained why people like me could really use that info. Maybe he’ll consider adding that info to their menu someday. If I don’t ask, he won’t know a customer considers it important. So sometimes you find the info and other times, maybe you just open the dialogue up for them to consider providing it.

MelissaB, I could hug you (consider yourself ((HUGGED))…my husband is a chef, and I asked him about your suggestion to visit with the cook…he said he’d be happy to sit down with anyone during off hours and talk to them about needs. He is working in/with a franchise place, but they can always “special” fix something for someone when they understand what is needed.

As far as my friends are concerned. I am sure that I help them feel guilty about their own health problems. I tend to take them very seriously, my health, that is, and they just go on…I want to live to be 85 — and with my family history, that would be a feat. Your ideas about WW are perfect, something I can understand without math. Thanks so very, very much!

As a diabetic T 2, I know what I can eat and what I can’t. Sometimes I cheat and pay for it for 2 days. I know I can eat as much salad as I want, as much meat, eggs, cheese and veggies. Most dressings are ok as long as they don;t have sugar. I would skip the biscuit (20 carbs) It’s taken me 2 years but I no longer crave bread anymore and I save lots of carbs. When in doubt I always order a grillen chicken breast and mushrooms.

Jeannie, that’s a great idea…I’ll have to remember the grilled chicken. I do have one question though, I know that cheese has lots of fat in it, but is a lo carb food…wondering how that works out with the calories we take through out the day? Since I am also trying to lose weight…I have to watch both, calories and carbs…any ideas about cheese?