Feeling bad about numbers compared to others

Type 1 and LADA
41

Hi Lizmarie & Kimberly,

No should feel badly or guilty about having good numbers or not so good numbers. We’re all struggling to do the best we can given the cards we’ve been dealt AND enjoy our lives without becoming obsessed that all we are numbers.

We all deserve self-praise for getting through each day & the many years carrying this burden without going off the deep end. Diabetes ain’t for sissies! Often hard to hold our heads high when we’ve got internal critical voices & external critical voices telling us we’re not doing good enough.

We come here for shared experiences & knowledge not to feel alone in the struggle. We need to know if we’re normal (within the context of other PWD experiences). This naturally leads to sharing of readings, successes, setbacks, doses, meds, diet, etc. & that inevitably leads to comparison. Would be a loss to our community for people to not feel comfortable sharing this.

Cat mentioned that she wasn’t responding to any particular person or discussion.

The people who commented that they didn’t believe that anyone could never have highs or lows were referring to Type 1s. Impossible to never have lows on insulin. I didn’t see anything in this discussion accusing people of lying about their numbers, unless I missed it.

I see lots of congratulatory comments when people post their good news & have never seen anyone shoot down another’s success. Likewise, I read lots of support when people need a shoulder or feedback.

42

@Lizmari and Kimberly:

Cat is T1. I do not think that she has compared herself with your numbers. But if so this would have been boldly wrong.

43

Her comments are word for word things that I have said in other discussions in which she has participated… So I know she’s talking about me. lol She probably didn’t realize I’m a Type 2, and has greatly missed the context of all of what I’ve said… Like I explained above.

44

Brett,

Wouldn’t want to see mine on a graph:) Was a while ago that someone had a discussion on how long they went without a high or low. I think the record was 1 day.

45

Thanks, Danny. Forgot it was your discussion–sorry.

46

I think that Bernstein’s books are full of useful tips, even if you cannot follow his uber-brutish-disciplanarian- “low-carb plan” the little tips and tidbits are still worthwile.

47

Ooo, thanks for that link Danny. Gerri, sort of answer that question for me yesterday but that is something I have been pondering from the beginning but never had straight in my head - how non-diabetics bg numbers really are (after eating, etc) - It interesting that they CAN go higher than the “normal” range and even low sometimes. But they go down faster than we do.

My mom just had a blood test done for something else (a fasting one) and her bg was 67 (if I read the lab right) which seems low but she is definately not diabetic but she takes meds for other problems so who knows how that effects her.

Knowing that a non-diabetic can go up to 160 or even higher and even go low doesn’t make us look so bad after all I guess. :slight_smile:

I know I have had lows before I was diagnosed (shaking legs, racing heart)- I just didn’t know that was what they were or what the number was. If I have a 65 now, I feel fine so I must have been way lower than that before.

48

here’s another one

https://forum.tudiabetes.org/topics/how-long-with-good-numbers

49

I was told on another post that there are T1’s who never go low. I don’t know how to believe it.
I’m considered a mild T2 (I lack sufficient insulin and am not resistant). My A1c’s are in the 5’s. I can’t even keep my glucose between 90-140 all the time. 83-110… That’s not possible for me - not ever!
It sounds like you are doing very good and keeping up on things.

50

Neither of you should feel bad about posting your numbers or having excellent control. You are both type 2 and that is totally different from type 1, people should not be making comparisons between the two in terms of readings. I will admit that personally I don’t tend to read posts from type 2s (posts regarding numbers, at least) because I just cannot relate to being upset at waking up at 115 versus 90 or an after-meal reading of 130 versus 100. Yesterday I woke up at 6.5 (117) and that is a fantastic morning reading for me. This morning, nothing different, and I woke up at 12.8 (230). Two hours after a meal I am doing great if I’m under 9.0 (160). But we are dealing with totally different types of diabetes and totally different types of control.

To me the two types are usually just not comparable, they are different animals entirely. It IS sometimes hard not to compare numbers if I read that type of stuff, so I choose not to read it. Same with posts, as you said, about damage occurring whenever blood sugars are over 140. It just makes me worry too much when I read that because a LOT of the time my blood sugars are over 140, and have been for a majority of my life (and I’m only 28). It doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be posted, though, or that people should feel bad about it. If anything it’s something we have to learn to deal with, not you … It’s just like how I choose not to watch horror movies because I don’t like getting freaked out, and same with reading murder mysteries before bed … Doesn’t mean the directors of those movies or the authors of those books should feel bad about producing or writing them! :wink:

51

Well, this has gotten going quite a bit since I last checked. First please let me clarify a few things:

  1. I was certainly not saying that anyone should feel bad about his/her numbers or about posting them. I was saying that I was starting to feel bad about my own, which was something new for me.
  2. My post was not responding to anyone’s comments in specific…I do not keep track of whom has said what in a thread…I just take the information in and try to make sense of it. There has just been a general feeling I have had lately that some of the parameters other people follow are very different from my own, and that people feel very, very strongly about them.
  3. I am certainly not implying that anyone is “lying” about his/her readings.

What I was reacting to is the idea that some people may have more stringent “criteria” than I do, and if my information is incorrect, outdated or whatever, I want to know. I had read on other posts that there are Type 1’s who never go low…this directly contradicts what I have been told for many years. I have specifically been told that lows are the price of good control for Type 1’s, and the need to check often was related to that fact…catch a low before it catches you. SO I accepted lows are a part of my life. I always have been able to catch them before I needed assistance or anything. But, if there are folks out there who have mastered avoiding lows altogether, I would like to know and try to get there too. How dramatically different my life would be without lows!

Let me also say that I do not know many other Type 1’s, and I needed a reality check from people who take insulin. I was just seeking the experiences of others in their blood sugar management. I was seeing perspective, because I felt mine was becoming warped. Are my goals on target? I didn’t know anymore. As I mentioned, I had always thought that I was doing well, and then when I came here, and starting reading posts, and realized that what I have been striving for is not in line with what others are, or what some seemed to be saying people should be . I was starting to wonder if I really was doing well, or was just out of touch.

I am also not saying that people have not “earned” good blood sugars" I know how hard I have worked and know countless others with diabetes do too. Sadly, diabetes control is not always directly correlated with effort, there are other variables too. There is hard work, and I am also learning, some luck involved. Not to mention access to decent healthcare! Why do some go so long without complications, and others not? No one seems to know.

I think it is very important for everyone to have goals which are realistic…reachable and reasonable for that person. Constantly striving for something which is unrealistic will suck a person dry and leave them feeling defeated. That is where I was going until I posted. I was striving for 90-140 at all times, and for me it wasn’t happening, and it was getting depressing for me, personally.

I have learned a lot through everyone’s posts, some practical things to try, but also the understanding that I am on track, and my goals are good ones. I have realized that no one person can make statements about the blood sugars of others. I have learned that maybe I too need to learn to “tune out” the specific numbers and “tune in” to the general sentiment being expressed in posts. Maybe that will help me stay focused on the big picture and not drive myself crazy with minutia.

I have also learned for me I will continue to focus on doing the best I can each day, making a reachable goal, and then raising the bar when I get there. But most importantly, I do not feel alone in my struggles with lows and highs at times. I know I am not the only one. And that is what I was starting to wonder.

BTW, thanks for the link about remaining within target for the longest…that was exactly what I was looking for!

Thanks to everyone who took the time and made the effort to reply to my post!

52

Cat,

Thanks for starting this thread and for this excellent and comprehensive summary and response.

It’s a fascinating on-line phemenon to watch how message threads can twist and turn away from the original message, sometimes even get ‘hijacked.’ It happens in forums all over the web, like a digitized version of the game ‘telephone.’ You did a great job bringing it back home.

BTW, I think your numbers are great. If I could keep my A1C under 6 I’d be turning cartwheels.

Terry

53

I am getting discouraged reading your post! You should be very proud of your control. All A1cs under six! That is awesome. As a caretaker of a Type 1 child, now 13, who also has A1cs in the 6 to mid-sixes (have only been able to get below six once after her honeymoon), I still see many high numbers. Only our highs are high 200s to low 300s. Due to hormonal or growth spurts, she can rise 100 points or more an hour on recently tested basals with no food. Even wearing cgms and even using Apidra, insulin is slow to bring these numbers down. Everyone is different; everyone has a different metabolism so you cannot compare yourself with anyone else. My immediate thoughts are that age of dx may have something to do with it. People dx’d with LADA (or those who develop Type 1 as adults) often have a very slow onset, very long honeymoon. And the whole progression of D may be different for those dx’d with LADA. Not sure if all those dx’d as adults have LADA, though. Diet, also, may have a lot ot do with it. Those on low carb, low glycemic index diets probably have less postprandial spikes than those on a more liberal diet. I know Type 1s are told they can eat what they want, within reason, but my guess is those with such low postprandial spikes may be on a low carb diet. This would not work for my niece; she loves carbs.

54

No the world is not so rosy. I could inject more insulin and get better BG like A1c of 5.3% or something like that but death would result quickly as I would gain tremendous weight. Diabetes is not a success story with a happy ending it is like General Wawell wrote about war a choice among evils.

55

You wrote, Carol, that you are ashamed, embarassed , debased, degraded,?

My heart goes out to you!!! You have no reason to be ashamed nor embarasssed about having diabetes!!I have been diabetic for 42 years, I am not ashamed and I do not have “perfect” numbers, either. I do the best I can, try to bolus/basal appropriately to minimize spikes and reduce lows. I am , of course, not always sucessful . I get a spike over 180 at least three times a week and a low ( under 70) at least 4-5 times a week, but I just keep rolling. I am healthy and happy, and I do not go around comparing myself to others with diabetes or anything else. That is a set-up for depression and anxiety., which I have decided have no place in my life. Diabetes is not " constant failure". It is what it is.: A medical condition that requires hypervigilance, but not hyperanxiety nor super stress.
I am an eternal optimist due to my faith; and I see myself as a winner in life, not a competitor, but a winner striving for the best I can be: God does not make junk!!!
God Bless,
Brunetta
Type 1 42 years

56

To me, discussing your A1C is like discussing your weight. It can get weird and uncomfortable, and it’s hard not to compare yourself with others. Just as all of us are happy and healthy at different weights, we’re not all supposed to be at the exact same A1C. I’m sure we’re all trying like hell, and sometimes that’s more important than numbers.

Having said that, I am jealous of your under-6’s.

57

Hey:) I definitely do not have an A1C of 6, but I understand being discouraged by what seems like a multitude of people on here that do. Lately, I have been trying to use these great numbers as motivation. For the last few years I have had an A1C of 10 or higher (13.5 being a high), but most recently my A1C was 9. While 9 essentially is not desirable I took something my endo said to heart and think this may work in your case…everybody’s situation is different, so try not to compare yourself to others too much. I think she was totally right, if your not getting the numbers you want to see then try slowly everyday to get them down even just a little…babysteps to create a lasting life change.

Also, what you may be experiencing where your readings run high in the morning may be what’s called the “dawn syndrome”. This used to happen to me and then I teamed with my endo and dietition and discovered if I have a small snack before bed which was less than 15g of carbs that my fasting numbers in the morning were extremely lower. If I dont have this snack low and behold I will wake up with a 300 reading after last nites 90…hmm tricky

58

Frankly, I’m not impressed by those who have perfect control all the time. I figure they don’t have the body I do, they don’t contend with the fluctuations I do. Maybe they even don’t have the same diabetes parts I do. I don’t compare me to them. I try really hard to think about it in the other direction too; maybe the person whose A1c won’t go below 8% has more scar tissue affecting absorption, or maybe they are having other health issues affecting them, or maybe their digestion is so fast that they can’t avoid meal spikes… or whatever.

59

There’s no one who has perfect control all of the time, or even part of the time. If I met someone with near perfect control, I’d be very impressed.

60

Thanks to Bernstein’s system, I’ve kept my A1C in the low 5’s, BGs 4-6 pretty much all the time. But there’s a reason…

I had horrible symptoms for 2 years till diagnosis just over a year ago, and my A1C then was only 8 point something.

I think my body doesn’t deal well with even moderately high BG, so I’m very incented to keep things level. I read about people maintaining A1C’s of 7+ for decades with no ill effects, and I’m impressed that they are so robust. Not me.

All the best with it.
Paul.