I had a crisis this week but it made me learn something about myself. Everyone in my dept received gifts of chococlate - except me. I got a mug. I was SO sad watching other people unwrap their beautiful boxes all ribboned up full of chocolate while I looked at my mug with the school logo on it. I had a bunch of conflicting thoughts and emotions. I was grateful for my boss’s thoughtfulness in considering my diabetes, but I DO allow myself a small (very small) amount of chocolate now and then and I coveted the chocolate. Then I chastised myself for having bad thoughts. One should be grateful for any gift!!! Then I hated being diabetic. Then I tried to be positive and made myself a nice cup of tea in my new mug. (Those Christmas teas are really good). Then I shared the story with some friends on facebook and they turned into the diabetes police telling me I can’t have chocolate and telling me how thoughtful it was of my boss. Then I posted on the bernstein forum and got yelled at for considering eating chocolate. I felt worse and it led to a day of self-pity. It wasn’t pretty but I learned to try to avoid the self-pity and to try to not over-react to stupid things. But we all have a day like this now and then don’t we? Ultimately I was glad I didn’t have the extra temptation of the chocolate.
One friend DID understand. She had her husband drive to my house and give me an 85% Lindt dark chocolate bar saying “Take this to Maria; it’s an emergency!” Is that awesome or what?