"You live with dignity. You don’t die with it."
A skeptic’s way of looking at life optimistically and trying to persuade someone else of their backwards argument.
I found irony in the saying. Especially when it came from an individual that was an extreme pessimist. But when it came to someone else’s life - they saw the richness in it and looked passed all the troubling situations. And saw it as their responsibility to not let them just roll over and give up. The irony wasn’t necessarily there because one was a pessimist and the other a positivist gone pessimist but because I see myself right now in both roles.
There are days where all I want to do is give in and stop caring so much. I mean, the amount of enjoyment in life is all relative, right? But then there are days where I couldn’t even think about backing down and letting go. Where all I want to do is eat, breath, and sleep advocacy. Where I purposely check my BG in the middle of a class just so people ask. Or I go out of my way and think of methods to fundraise or to help my new Tour de Cure team. On those good days I’m not as worried about the future. Again, relativity, yes. But it’s those days that I’m un-phased by monetary issues such as a well paying job, or the army, or insurance, or the few true friends I have. It’s those days I become more selfless. I am my own contradictory speaking Yoda on perspective of my own life.
But it’s true. You do LIVE with dignity and any other self-respecting characteristic. When you die you don’t have it anymore. It doesn’t stay with you. It doesn’t decompose while laying alongside you in a coffin. It may very well remain in those you leave behind- yes. But not with you. All the more reason to actually LIVE. And I don’t mean living as in just getting by living. I mean, living. Real, passionate, messy, emotional, crazy LIVING.
Sometimes it seems like life throws you curveballs just to make sure you are awake and paying attention. But in my opinion, the pain and sorrow in ones life adds to the true robust passion and love. Without the bad really how good is it? I don’t think that makes sense- let me retry. If you never have a bad time to compare the good times against is it really a good time then? Or is it just normal now? You see you need both to give them their meaning. Maybe that’s with me too. Maybe I haven’t really truly began to live until I felt now when I at times I want to stop living at together.
Maybe- I didn’t just get sick and discovered diabetes. Maybe I gained depth in my life. Maybe diabetes will allow me to appreciate more. There I go again being my ■■■ backwards Yoda. Stupid StarWar analogies making me sound like an uber geek.