So, I was at work last night and I was craving something sweet. So, I checked my blood, took the correct amount of insulin, and ate a fun size Kit Kat. My nurse supervisor saw me eating it and said “You shouldn’t be eating that!” I rolled my eyes, told her I took insulin to cover it and thought that would be the end of it. Nope. She responded with “You sound like every other diabetic. If you were my daughter I would bend you over my knee to teach you a lesson”. She said it jokingly, but there were several of my co-workers around. I instantly got sick to my stomach and shaky as I finished my Kit Kat (I had to eat it since I took insulin, but I just wanted to throw it away). I feel so humiliated. I don’t know what to do. I feel that reporting her would be going to far, but at the same time I don’t feel comfortable at work. I literally have anxiety about eating at work now. I don’t do well being called out and laughed at, especially in front of a group of people, especially about my diabetes.
that is really rude and ignorant of her imo. and unacceptable. I understand the reluctance to call her out, but you might want to think about speaking w her calmly. I also recommend the BDI’s Diabetes Etiquette Card
http://behavioraldiabetesinstitute.org/resources/print-materials
I’m sorry this happened to you. hugs!
so now we have “diabetes shaming”. I guess fat shaming, body shaming, etc, aren’t enough for the rude people of the world. Sorry you were on the receiving end of a busy-body’s thoughtless series of comments.
I like the diabetes etiquette card, @MarieB.
@MissMargie, I would definitely ask to have a private meeting with your nurse supervisor. Try and do it calmly as Marie suggested, since a discussion like this might be helpful without resorting to the formality of reporting her, plus if a private meeting doesn’t help, it gives you further reason to then report her.
She shamed you for sure. Imagine if she had said, “You sound like every other Black/White/Hispanic/Fat/Short/Tall/Handicapped/Liberal/Epileptic/Whatever Stereotype you want” - pretty unacceptable …
That “You sound like every other diabetic” part is where it really steps over the line for me. A) it’s a naked instance of stereotyping, pure and simple, and B) like all stereotyping it’s based on ignorance: it sounds like she’s working from some variant of the myth that “you caused your own problem by eating too much sugar!” and thus eating sugar somehow makes the condition worse. It also sounds like there’s a strong component of nurse officiousness, which kind of goes with that profession. It’s her job to tell patients what to do, health-wise, and recognizing that there are limits to the exercise of that mandate isn’t a big part of the picture. Whoever you are, it’s her job to know more than you about your medical condition, and she’s here to help you with that for your own good. The fact that she actually has authority over you as your supervisor only makes the boundaries she’s transgressing less easy for her to recognize. She’s trying to help! And patients as a class always resist. Especially “you diabetics.”
Like you say, going over her head to report her seems like it might exacerbate the situation rather than help, but clearly just swallowing your feelings about the situation, so to speak, isn’t good for your well being. It’s corrosive to have to just accept something like this and you shouldn’t have to. I suck at this kind of thing myself, but it really calls out for a “We need to talk” session with her. It sounds like you tried being informative rather than confrontational about it, but that might be worth a second try in a more private setting.
and here’s a link to one of the best videos on the “diabetes Police”, made by our @mrmikelawson
“We’re like snowflakes!” Ha! Great video!
I agree with all the previous responses. Your supervisor clearly stepped over the line. There is nothing wrong with a person with diabetes responsibly enjoying a treat! You are an autonomous adult. She is not your medical advisor. Her comments were way out of line.
I also realize that this is a very emotional issue for you and this supervisor may not react well to your effort to challenge her. She may even get it confused with insubordination!
Since this whole thing puts you on emotional edge, your ability to communicate your full sense of what happened may be impaired. You may not be able to communicate the full reasons why what she did is none of her business. If it were me, I would hand-deliver to her a personal hand-written note that gives her a chance to see things from your perspective. I would seek to make the tone of that note diplomatic and concilliatory but include a the full reasons for why what she did was wrong. At the end of the note, I would request a face-to-face meeting to discuss this issue further. I would also make a photo-copy of this note.
I have a big problem with any medical professional pulling diabetic rank on me. They have no idea what it’s like to live 24/7/365 with diabetes. Your supervisor’s reflexive lack of compassion and empathy appalls me.
This is a tough one. Letting it go without any pushback from you will invite more of the same. Good luck with whatever route you choose!
Miss Margie, I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you. I wish. . . I wish so many things, but I especially wish you did not have to put up with an idiot for a boss.
My MO would be to “jokingly” remind her that when I see her taking insulin shots and testing her glucose I’ll count her opinion for something but until then she can reserve her judgments…
I work for a large insurance company with very extensive diversity training. I also deal with litigated civil cases and have seen some dealing with various elements of this type of case.
I’m not divulging any type of secret but a key element of these sort of cases is that the harassee has to ask the harasser to stop so I would recommend that you bluntly tell her to do so, ideally in front of a witness. If she does it again, you will likely covered that element of a case.
You may also be able to work in defamatory elements (saying or writing things which were untrue about someone…) which might be some icing on the cake (ha) as it were. I’m not an attorney so I may be blowing smoke a bit but I would do those things immediately and, if she doesn’t adhere to your civil request, you can decide if you want to bear it or if you want to take a stronger stand, either through the HR department or on your own. You can choose not to but to protect yourself, tell her to knock it off.
Actually, the supervisor being involved and being a nurse, who should be expected to know more than the average “civilian” about diabetes, might add substance to your claim. I don’t really want to talk about how these cases can be fought but a quick second look at your story makes me think you could build their behavior into an interesting case. If anyone who knows what they are talking about, i.e. an HR rep, got wind of such behavior, they would probably be very alarmed by it.
You need to tell that person that you are sensitive to diabetes jokes and ask her to refrain in your presence. I did that and the guy said he thought it was funny that I urinate a lot. I told him it’s funny but I’m very sensitive and it hurts me and he got it. If she was diabetic she would recognise the need to eat that. It happens. “I’m a mommy who spanks girls who don’t diet.” If it wasn’t a sensitive issue for you maybe you could see her humor. I think the best thing to do is laugh. " ha, haha, ha, oooo good one, that’s so funny" then find her sore spot, say something mean about what she’s sensitive about. Or another tack would be don’t laugh, say,"no you didn’t. You did not say spank. " what a frustration, people are so insensitive, and we diabetics have to be nearly perfect just to stay alive. Maybe if you had passed out and paramedics came and took you to the hospital because you had dosed incorrectly, which could happen any hour of any day she could storm into the ER and say ,“I should spank you.”
“So if you’re needing something to do and want to treat me for Hypo Glycemia, I can put my preventative away.”
It constantly amazes - and disappoints - me that diabetes (of any kind) is something that it is socially and politically acceptable to blame/shame humiliate the PWD. And for someone in the helath care industry - they should k now better. I’d love to know when and where she got her RN degree!
I wish I could give this more than one 
I wish I knew where I saw it but there was a short video about what we (PWD’s) would like to say but often don’t - cuz we’re polite. The best one - that would work in most instances is “Please, don’t breed”
I want to thank you guys for your support! It mean a lot to me. I never got a chance to say anything to her, she wasn’t at work for a couple of says after the incident and I felt silly bringing it up a few days later. What I’m going to do, though, is just keep a few papers of info with me, explaining what T1 is, the general treatment options (MDI, pump, et.c.), and a very detailed one about carb counting and dosing insulin. Her comments come from a place of ignorance, so I want to take situations like these and turn them into an opportunity to educate.
Oh, haha, another rude comment that I kind of laughed at. My doctor is trying me on Victoza, she’s had great A1C lowering results with it in T1’s. So, I go to pick it up at the pharmacy and the pharmacist looks at me and goes “You’re too young to be diabetic.” (I’m 27 but look about 20 if not younger). So I smiled, took my prescription and kindly informed him that I had been diagnosed at 11months old and walked away.
And I wonder too if this nurse is still confused about the difference between type 1 and type 2… although as a nurse she should know better! But I had a friend who was a nurse sit me down to tell me that she knew someone who cured their diabetes by going vegan… which won’t work for type 1… hello!!!
People still really don’t understand the difference between the two and so automatically assume that type 1’s should be controlling their diabetes through diet and shouldn’t eat sugar… but it still doesn’t matter, her shaming you is completely unacceptable!
And then there’s the opposite mistake. One time, I had unexpectedly run out of test strips and went to the pharmacy to get my scrip filled, only to find that it had run out. I was already irritated that I’d missed the fact that I was running low, and was really in a bit of a panic not to mention aggravated because it was evening, Dr’s office was closed etc. The pharmacist was all “Hey, it’s no big deal–you only need to check it once a day.” After I yelled at him about not having the first clue what he was talking about and explaining that I can’t eat if I don’t know my number so I can bolus for it, y’dammed idjit it emerged that he had just assumed I was T2, because I guess I didn’t fit whatever profile he had in his head. Hey, I thought only kids had that kind, who knew, huh? Um, actually no. Also too: people grow up.
He would have been right nine times out of ten. It’s funny how seldom they test. I think you could go without testing. We used to not have tests. We tried to tune in to our body’s signals. That worked for me until I began to not be able to tell the difference between too high and too low just that it was off. And of course lost all hypoglycemic awareness down to really low.
I used to get, “but you’re skinny, it’s not possible” then of course insulin caused weight gain.
Don’t physicians have something like their old beepers. You could, in the '70s have them paged to talk to a pharmacist. And then of course they tell you to be more conscientious. That’s how I started reusing disposable syringes. If I’d known that was possible I wouldn’t have run out at night during doctor’s, Dr. Safrit, Presbyterian Hospital, San Francisco, restaurant dinner.