I kind of like this perspective. It gives the benefit of the doubt.
I’d be annoyed, too. Catty dreamer that I am, I’d stew over a witty comment until long after the opportunity was gone. I usually have a couple of gentle jibes in reserve, just in case. One of my best is “True, but my secret illness can’t be spread though intimate contact.”
Oooooo … hehehe… love it Tom…
Bottom line…it’s YOUR choice to tell and share, not hers!!! I doubt there was any gain by the group knowing you were also D. My guess it that it didn’t add to her story or comments any. I don’t blame you for being a bit miffed.
I’m also open about D…but it’s MY decision with whom and when to share.
I try… I really do!
People have no qualms about asking me about my son’s pump. I had a woman at walmart say “What’s THAT hanging out of his pocket?!” Well, it’s an insulin pump. “WHAT’S it for?!” Duh. For diabetes. “HE’S diabetic?!” By this time everyone in the checkout line is staring and asking questions. The checker says “Poor baby”.
Then I have people say “Isn’t your son a little young for a cell phone??” He’s 18 months. I say, “Yes.” LOL.
Sometimes I guess you don’t really have a choice but to share.
i never tell anybody i’m diabetic, not at school, not at sports and never at work. been that way for 50 years without a problem. so, no, i’ve never been outed because nobody knows in the first place. life is easier that way.
I teach kindergarten and am afraid the parents might worry about their kids–you know, will she go into a coma or pull a syringe out in front of my child? So yeah, I’m a little paranoid. And the PTA president knows and said to me “You have the bad kind don’t you.” Yeah, everyone knows that there is a good diabetes that we all wish we had.
Do we have the same sister in law?
I guess initially it might take me back a bit, but after a moment I would feel it is OK because I’m big on openness and diabetes education. How can people learn about diabetes if we’re not open enough to discuss it with others?
The first time that happened to me was at an office birthday party. Someone tried to hand me a slice of cake and a co-worker threw her arm out in front of me as if I were being threatened by a gun, and said, “She can’t have that! She’s diabetic.” After my initial shock I took the plate and said, “Actually, I can have this. But I do appreciate your concern.”
The cake was good and I didn’t keel over from eating it.
I’m glad I was able to respond to her remark as she intended it – as an expression of care and protection. But the breach of privacy did bother me, and I think it would bother me even more now if something like that ever happened again. Like everyone else has said, it’s not so much that it’s a big secret, but just that it’s MY information and I want to be in control of who knows it. Especially at work. I was laid off from that job last month and I know the cost of my insurance was part of the reason (I was one of the only remaining people in my department with coverage). Theoretically my diabetes shouldn’t make any difference in what the company had to pay … but I have still wondered whether maybe it was stupid of me to be so open about my condition at work. Next job, I probably won’t be.
No, I don’t care who knows it. Tell the People!!
The fact of the matter is that its YOUR personal information and its your decision as to whether to reveal it or not. No one else has the right to make that decision for you - especially in a situation at work or where it could be considered sensitive information because its medicaly related. As for the people doing it - outing you - do not attribute to malice that which you can attribute to ignorance - unless you’re absolutely sure.
To me, the difference is that it’s easy for anyone to see that both people are blonde. With diabetes, it’s more persona and certainly more privatel. There are a LOT of people who don’t know anything about diabetes or who have misguided opinions about the diabetic himself or herself and I don’t always feel like jumping into the educator role.
As others have said, it’s a personal matter and mine to disclose if and when I want to. I’m not nearly as sensitive about it now as I was the first few years after my diagnosis at age 41 and I don’t hesitate to provide accurate information about diabetes when people need it. Yet in the beginning I was determined that no one know about my diabetes – especially at work – so I wouldn’t be judged and no one would know that I was “different.” My perspective now is much different but I do keep my original attitude in mind before I start talking about someone else.
To me, it’s similar to the fact that I regularly attend Al Anon meetings. Anonymity is one of the basic rules there and one that was vitally important to me when I first started going about 12 years ago. After all those years, I’m completely okay with telling people about Al Anon, telling Al Anon members my last name, and having other members tell people that I’m in Al Anon. At the same time, I completely respect other people’s rights not to disclose anything to anyone about their Al Anon participation.
In general, I believe it’s best NOT to disclose personal information about anyone besides myself unless I have “permission” from that person. What’s to be gained when I talk about someone else’s personal information? Usually just turning the spotlight on myself as the “person in the know” in a wrong-headed attempt to make myself more interesting to others. Not healthy for me.
Myself ,I’ve been a crusader for diabetes so I don’t give anyone time to "out me"but NO ONE has a right to bring out another persons medical condition withour their permission.It should be on your terms what info you want to reveal. Personally ,I want peaople around me to know because they may be the one to help me if I’m having a problem with my sugar . You should talk to you friend about your feelings. Try to forgive the Zelot.
My moment came about 35 years ago when we went out to eat and I was having an insulin reaction. My mom goes into the restrant with me and grandparents, I was not in a really bad way there just a little weak could have waited for the coke to get there but my loving mom looked at waitress and said " She’s a diabetic and needes to eat NOW". I came from a really small town and this town was just a little bigger and she annouced it. Back then noone knew what Diabetes was in a child just that they were dying soon and had to take shots. EMBARRISING!
I still get the pager on all the time! Who carries pages anymore???
Nope, I’ve never been secretive about my diabetes. There are some who are surprised to “find out” I’m diabetic, which I find weird. I wear a pump, I have “diabetes clothes”, I test in public. Its part of my life and I’m not ashamed of it, although I’m usually annoyed with it.
My favorite term of all time is “brittle diabetes”! What the hell is that anyway? I’ve heard my older neighbor telling someone looking at her house that one day about me. I was way bugged but she’s in her 70’s so I forgave her a little after a while.