The school called. They were concerned about my number of absences recently (even though they’re all excused). Apparently having a high blood sugar and ketones sometimes and not being able to do anything all day long isn’t a valid excuse. I’m having to endure being the one to be in trouble for all this and to have to tell people everything about diabetes because I’m the first kid in my school with it.
High blood sugars make me feel like I want to curl up in a corner and just put my life on hold and press the pause button so that I can take a breath. When I’m high, my body burns and I feel like I’m actually burning when my hands and feet are actually cold. I get a raging headache and I answer questions stupidly, like when my dad asked me if I was going to become a famous cellist (jokingly), I said, “I’m tired! Go away!” I want to sleep, but I can’t. I want to cry. I want to bawl.
I also think I might be getting some sort of anxiety issue. I know I had a panic attack when our school was on fire (my entire body was shaking violently and my mouth was chattering and I was basically falling over), but things have been getting a little worse. I constantly feel like I’m worried and I need to bawl and cry into a pillow and everything is just too much. Having a high blood sugar when I feel like this makes me one crazy person!
On the other hand, things are looking up with my social life. There’s a girl in my class that’s also in my youth orchestra that I’ve known for a while. We’ve been friends, but not great friends all the time I’ve been having to deal with this other girl who’s been hurting me physically and emotionally. She has another best friend. At our last orchestra rehearsal, our mom’s sat and talked for the three hours. And they got to the subject of this other girl. It turns out that this girl wanted to be friends with me badly and thought that this girl was really mean and had stood up to her before and thought that she was treating me really badly. She didn’t say anything to me because she thought I was still the other girl’s best friend. Before the concert yesterday, we sat backstage orchestra hall and just hugged and promised to be friends and she felt so bad and I felt so bad and it was just really great. We’re really great friends now. After that, we went out into orchestra hall and she was the concertmaster 1st violin and I was the principal viola and we were smiling the entire time at each other. She’s going to help me get away from the other girl and stand up to her. I’m so happy!
My blood sugars today started at 325. I’m down to 160 now, but I can’t go any further for some reason.
Sloane, great news about your friend! One good friend makes all the difference in the world!!!
Sorry to hear about the highs and all the emotions that go with it. You are dealing with so much right now. It’s improtant to find a place to vent those emotions and talk about life with diabetes. That includes telling us about it.
Have you talked to your doctor about adjusting insulin doses to prevent these highs?
Hi Sloane, I feel just like you when my BG is high. Miserable, cranky… and it seems extra unfair that we have to continue on with our daily responsibilities while dealing with it! I think somebody needs to invent a diabetes dart board. The board would be a picture of the diabetes fairy and the darts would be insulin syringes. Throw 'em at her and see how she likes it!! Payback for all the stress she causes us.
Best of luck and great news about your new friend!
Sloane: You have written a very poignant entry. You probably know your school nurse very well. I would bet if you asked her to help you form a relationship with a teacher who may be a diabetic, either T1 or 2, you could have a D-pal at school who helps you run interference.
I do that for a lot of students. I have students come in just to talk…and sometimes they even ask the nurse to get me when they are trying to combat a low.
I stick together with all my diabetic students…and try to help other teachers see why it’s so hard for them to keep focused on their work sometimes.
Hello Sloane, a long time ago when I was in school (lycée in France) I lived the same story you told us! High blood sugar and ketones, I couldn’t go to school and a teacher (I forgot his name) said that my diabetes was not an excuse! I know the feeling you have with high blood sugar. Take care of you. And I’m happy about the story of your friend. Friendship is so nice! Amitiés.
Hi Sloane it is always so great when new friendships are made. I met my best friend in junior high - lets just say a very long time a go, 35 years later she is still my very best friend. I hope you’ve made a new bestfriend.
I would like to suggest to you to see a counselor/therapist about your diabetes- sounds like you need to bounce all your fears and frustrations about diabetes with someone, especially if you are the only one in school with it.
I’ve had diabetes for quite a while; you have to think about it everyday,and it can be pretty overwhelming and something we just get tired of worrying about and dealing with diabetes. I’ve had anxiety attacks before also and learned we spend so much time trying to controlling our diabetes and we do the best we can but we can’t control everything and we shouldn’t try. Do the best you can and enjoy life.
