so my son, ben was dxd at 13 months old. he’ll be 4 in 2 weeks.
when his bg is running (high 200 +) he gets really irritable and mean. it has happened since he was diagnosed.
this evening, ben’s sugar was 199. he started acting really rude, nasty and mean. so i checked him…it had only been 45 minutes since i tested and had gotten his 199 reading.
he was 89. so he dropped over a hundred points-for a lack of a better term-in less than an hour.
as i was checking him, i said to him- ‘let me test your sugar, you are acting really mean’…
well, now i know why. a drop that huge in a short amount of time can’t be good or feel good, for that matter.
so-my point to this post, is my sister said to my mom and friend that were in the room, ‘she always uses his blood sugar as an excuse for him to be mean’…
i am LIVID.
i’d say that 8 out of 10 times, his bg is out of whack. high, low or just dropping at a crazy rate.
WE know the havoc it causes on a kiddo, but how do you get someone else to ‘get it’. i am tired of hearing that i use his diabetes as an excuse-i don’t, but a mom knows her kid…and when ben is being mean-it’s because his sugar is SUCKING.
i mean, how do i go about it? just ignore his diabetes and discipline him like a ‘normal’ 3 year old acting out…i can’t do that.
test him, see that his sugar is nuts, bolus and just smile and say sorry???
i’m at a loss.
and really angry at my own sister…
how would you handle it?
I am super mean when high (especially above 250). Always have been. I was diagnosed at age 10 and am now 30.
I explain to people that, while it is not an excuse for me to be allowed to act mean without consequence, the sharp rise in stress hormones makes me aggressive, edgy, irritable, etc. I explain that I am sort of looking for a fight and that I am working hard to keep it in check in those moments. Making people understand that it is legitimate, chemical, and real seems to help.
thanks melissa…
i try really hard to explain that the effect of the high or the sudden spike or dip in numbers is wrecking havoc on his insides…
i also say that it’s not an excuse for him to act that way-it just happens. he just can’t help it…the response i got back tonight was, ‘well, when he’s older, he’ll grow out of it and be able to control his temper’…
i want to spit nails.
i suppose people that don’t live it or live with it everyday, just lack some of the knowledge…
My mom and brother would always upset me by claiming that my mood was diabetes-related…because it wasn’t always the case. But my husband has this way of diffusing me that I really appreciate. Rather than respond to my meanness, he simply puts his hand on me and says genuinely, “you’re okay.” It gives me nothing to lash back at. Then, when my blood sugar has normalized, we talk about what happened. It never helps to discuss the issue in the midst of it.
There is a real rise in cortisol and adrenaline that causes fight or flight reactions. It’s legit. And while he won’t “grow out of it,” he will figure out how to manage those instances.
i hadn’t done much research on the increase of cortisol and adrenaline, but learned about it in some of my nursing classes-and the cause of the flight or fight. i wondered if it played a specific role, and i see it does. it makes COMPLETE sense. i just hadn’t applied it to this yet.
ben doesn’t do much lashing out on me…he does give me some severe attitude, becomes defiant, etc, but like tonight-he was playing with my niece and my friends little boy. they all were being crappy and mean, but i KNEW something was up with ben.
anyhow-thanks again. this gives me a better insight, and hopefully i can explain a little better that ben doesn’t have the right to be a turd when his sugar is high-it just happens…and here is why 
The fact remains that the rise and drop does alter their mood, personality and whole feeling on being.
I would print out material for my family and anyone in contact with him to read if at that point they still didn’t get it I would not put my child in the situation of being around them. I would also type out his schedule for a 24 hr period and give it to them with the understanding that every time the schedule says take a BG reading or get an insulin shot they are POP themselves with a rubber band, they need to set their alarm so they can get up a POP themselves in the middle of the night.
He cannot help that he is diabetic, HE DOES NOT want to be diabetic, and he certainly doesn’t want to feel like crap all the time.
I would not justify anything to anyone>
I don’t have an answer for this but I wanted to thank you for nposting the question. My daughter will be 3 in November and this is an issue I have struggled with as well. Now I am going to look up specific information on cortisol to be able to tell people. Sometimes I even get paranoid that I’m using bg as an ‘excuse’ for my daughter acting out, but I’ve talked to my mom about it and the way I feel is, I don’t want to punish her for a physiological reaction that she can’t control ()on the flip side, I don’t want to never punish her and have her grow up to be a spoiled brat, my daughter has always had a ‘stong personality’ to put it nicely, even before dx). The whole point of my rambling is, thank you, I struggle with the same issue.
My 14 year old son was dx 9 months ago. In addition to diabetes, he is going through puberty so his hormones are all over the place. The other day, he was having a fit about something and it occurred to me that he hadn’t eaten for about 3 hours - we check his bs and it was 68 which is low for him… a little food and he was much happier. It does affect their moods just like it affects non d people but much worse… I also feel like I am always explaining behavior (specifically difficulty in school) in terms of his diabetes… I realize that I cannot use it for an excuse but it is real and he is still considered new to this. People don’t get it until they have to…
My daughter was recently diagnosed this summer and is 10. She gets real moody to when her BG gets out of wack. Family can be a big pain. I have two in my family, aunt and grandma, that are type 2 and didn’t know the differences between type 1 and 2. That was a struggle to get them up to speed because of their preconceived notions. We found that the big changes after corrections cause her to get real irritable and aggressive as well and the people around us at the time look at us like we are bad parents so I can empathize with you about this thing. For here she has the added anger of being recently diagnosed which compounds the behavior. I would just explain it to them and if they don’t get it ask them how they feel after downing a pot of coffee. I am guessing that edgy wound feeling has to be the closet thing to what type 1’s feel but its just a guess. That is the example I use when trying to explain it to people. I know if I drink a pot of coffee I’m ready to take on the world. It always hurts more coming from family though, take care and don’t let it bring you down.
Kelly,
Try to not take your sister’s comment personally and just keep on doing what you are doing, adding in tests whenever Ben seems off. My son used to have a lot of trouble pre-pump as he would wake up really high most mornings. Generally he is a pretty easy going sort of kid, but when his BG’s were hitting 300 he was difficult to get out of bed and then highly volatile until his BG could be brought back into range. One tantrum as he was leaving the shower put a huge hole in the hallway wall. I left the hole for several months. Figured he would think on it some as he would have to explain it when his friends came over. After about three months, I fixed the hole and so far we have not had any repeats of that sort of behaviour. H also started on a pump about three years ago which has completely fixed the overnight BG problem, so he can now get up in the morning feeling normal instead of all out of sorts.
You will find that as your son ages, he will be a little more mature than other kids his age, simply because of the many things that need to be kept on track to keep him healthy. You will also find that with experience, your sister will recognize a high or a very fast dropping low on her own when she sees her nephew acting out of character, at some point she will initiate checking his BG. Just don’t take what she said to heart. She doesn’t have your experience yet, dealing with D.
Cheryl
My son was diagnosed in Nov. and he was 15 then…16 now… I def. can tell his moods…his brother gets him mad all the time cuz if they argure his brother says…Better go test yourself…I bet you are high. One of these days little brother is gonna get punched for that!
He tries to stay away from people when he is really high…when low…he can be beligerant when I am just trying to help him…hormones are still raging too… Sounds like you are doing the right thing…educate your family…they need to understand so they will be kinder about it in the future. Good luck.
thanks girl!!!.
i should go ahead and add in that i’m 8 months pregnant and pretty darn hormonal myself, so i may be over reacting just a touch. the thought of it though, still kind of bugs me. my sister, as much as she loves my son and tries, giving a 100% will never happen. i can’t rely on her as much as i’d like. today, she took him to the park. he left and was 123…when she brought him back 3 hours later, he was 60. i asked if she tested and she said no, because i had tested him before they left. the whole conversation i had with her before they left for the park was…make sure you check him in an hour. the playing will drop him like a fly…
that didn’t go over well. lol-anyways,
i really appreciate reading your advice and your day to day dealings.
Today my son changed his pod and it immediately had an occlusion…so he got mad…yelled at his brother for just walking into the room…them me…then took off the pod and threw it across the room… He is 16. I think it was a mix of hormones, frustration …I told him after he calmed down that it wasn’t acceptable behavior…
Life as a kid can be hard…even harder with Diabetes…we still have to teach them that certain behaviors aren’t right…but we also need to understand that they are delt cards…not all children have to deal with too. Only parents that go through the good the bad and the ugly will ever really understand… glad we have eachother.
It’ll be so very important to impress this on his teachers, and school yard supervisors when he’s in school.
My 10 year old (diagnosed at 8) also gets mean when he’s high - especially if there is something he’s frustrated about, then he just completely over-reacts. I agree that the best thing I’ve done is to just express to him in the moment that I’m sorry he’s frustrated, give him a hug, and not engaging with his anger.
Another thing I’d say is that I’d rather think I used diabetes as an excuse too many times, than think I caused more pain and frustration for my son to rebel against later. If I have to pick between blaming the kid too much, or blaming diabetes too much, I’d definitely take the option of blaming diabetes. The result of blaming diabetes too much might affect his attitude, but the result of blaming your kid too much can lead to his refusal to manage a disease he thinks has too much control over him and that can have actual long term health effects.
amen to that!
Wow… really well put. My biggest fear is causing him to be so angry at diabetes that he loses the desire to take care of it as well has his does now. I read so many people on here that are just so frustrated that they no longer do what they are supposed to to care for themselves. What you said made sense to me…I will try to do better at not making him feel even less in control. Thanks.
I can so relate… my 14 year old son is going through puberty, still new to diabetes (dx last november) and starting high school… he has had a tough year and his moods are all over the place. The diabetes adds to the anxiety and complicates everything… people do not understand… they just think you give a shot or go on the pump and it’s all back to normal. I think it takes a long time and some kids have it harder than others. Teens really have it tough because they don’t want to be any different than everyone else… this year has been a roller coaster for my entire family… not that it’s been bad all the time but the difficult times are so overwhelming. We just have to hang in there and know that it will get better.
Yes, my niece gets moody… not mean, really, when her blood sugar is high. Lows, she can get hungry. Sounds like you have already explained this to your sister. So I would have to ask myself why she challenges this and insists your son is misbehaving because he is mean and that you are using his blood sugar swings as an “excuse.” Your sister does not sound supportive; quite the opposite. And why she would comment on a child who is handling more than he should have to at such a young age and not have any compassion… I would be spitting mad myself. I would not hold back and would tell Sis how I feel.