I have an 8-year-old son with Type 1, he was diagnosed 5 years ago. We have been aware that everything we have to do for him also has an impact on our older son (he’s 10), not the least of which is just the simple fact that we have to pay so much attention to our 8-year-old all the time. But we’re starting to think this really bothers our older son more and deeper than we previously thought.
I would love to hear from other parents how you handle a situation like this. But I would even more like to hear from other siblings-of-diabetics: what you like your parents to do to help you through those feelings? or what you wish they were doing?
My brother has exercise-induced asthma. We were close as children, but the sibling rivalry got out of control and now we barely speak to each other. I think the way my parents handled things has a lot to do with it. My mom was very involved and supportive of my brother, and went out of her way to help him make friends in non-sports related ways. I pretty much got ignored. To be honest, I still quite resent it. I have memories of my mom playing tennis with my brother, but refusing to play with me. Or going out of her way to help my brother with some committee he was on, but when I asked for similar support refusing or saying she was too tired etc.
I’m not a parent, so I don’t really know how to handle your situation. I would suggest that you set aside one on one time with the older sibling, and make sure you talk to him about how living with diabetes can be hard and frustrating and give him space to vent about that. For me, I really didn’t understand why my mother acted the way she did, and that made it very hard on me. I thought she didn’t like me, and that I was a bad person. You may find that your child doesn’t realise why you do the things you do for the younger sibling.
Thanks for your comment. Yes, things are going better but it is always hard. We are trying to get him more involved in the care, your suggestion is a good one. He came to our younger sons last appointment and I think that helped him understand a lot of what goes on that he hasn’t seen.
He also helped me put together a cool YouTube video for our Walk to Cure Diabetes fundraising - check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSX5VJsz7M. He did a great job, and I think he’s proud of that!
