I am 16 years old and I have type one diabetes.
I have an older brother, Chase, who is 24, who also has type one.
I have a little brother, Michael, who is 4 who is newly diagnosed with type one.
My mom has type one and has several other health issues. She is extremely sick and I can’t stand the fact of gonna lose her sooner than most kids.
My daddy is not type one but he has several issues. He too isn’t doing good and I will most likely lose him sooner than most…
Yet I handle it well. But somedays it gets hard. All the blood sugar roller coasters and school stress gets me some.
But I refuse to cry or talk about it.
I act as if everything is fine…
Hoping that if I believe it’s fine maybe I’ll wake up and everything will be fine.
This discussion may seem pointless but I needed to vent or whatever you call this.
Just wondering why you "refuse to cry or talk about it and act as if everything is fine"? Unfortunately, as I'm sure you realize, ignoring it won't make it go away. It's wonderful that you have a positive attitude and try and go on with your life, and that you handle so much stress well. But if you bottle up all those feelings of sadness, fear, and overwhelm, they're going to pop back out and get you. Yes, this is venting and it does help! But maybe it would help also to talk to someone in real life. Whether that someone be a friend, a relative, an adult from school or who knows you and your family, or a professional therapist - it will help to share about what is going on for you. Some people are afraid that if they "let out" their negative feelings they will be completely overwhelmed and unable to function. But actually it can be a lot more stressful to keep pushing the feelings down. And sharing them will relieve some of the pressure building up inside so that you can go on and live your life the best you can.
Talking about stuff is good and it's good that you are doing it here. Maybe some IRL talking would be good too but, if you want to talk here, that's what we do? I used to think I was gonna lose me sooner than most but I am 44 now and have not lost myself yet?
I was 25 when I lost my father; my little brother was 20. It's very difficult to lose a parent when you're young and it must be very scary to think about losing both parents at your age. I just want to wish you strength and to second Zoe's good suggestion. I had a therapist when my father was dying and it made all the difference in the world.
Take care,
Maurie
It is good that you get things out and put them out in writting. I am 41 years old and I still try to pretend nothing is wrong and keep moving on. I have had my share of awful days. I try to live my life like dory in finding nemo. I pretend that yesterday was not real and look forward to tomorrow. So if thinking nothing is wrong for a while can keep you going it’s ok. But also if you need to take sometime to cry that is ok too. Take care.
Dear Kelsey, it sounds like you are in a very difficult situation right now and you probably have your reasons to "act as if everything is fine". I also agree with Zoe that speaking with a relative, friend or therapist would probably help you to feel better. It is probably very difficult for you to see your parents have such serious health problems. I want to send you a big balloon of positive energy to help you keep taking care of yourself, because this is something you can do for the better. And I wish you to always find space to talk and express your feelings. Take care and don't give up:)