Great reply, Jacob's Mom. I will add an additional observation to my comments above.
I was about 16 when my mom (see above) was diagnosed with type 2. I was nearly out of the nest, junior in high school, you all know where you were at 16! She had a terrible time with her diabetes, and I still believe her pancreas still worked sometimes and put her into devastating lows. They scared ME for pete's sake. But, as always, she accepted the challenge and met it head on, for good and bad....
But I slowly watched my father place her under his total control. He loved her so much and was so afraid (she was my barrier as a type 1 to his worry. He would have locked me in the house so they could oversee my every move! Hmmm... He was not a control freak, truly. He just worried about EVERYTHING and loved my mom SO much it was scary.) He made her work as his assistant (she had never worked), so he could watch her all the time. He bought a house near his office, so they had easy access to her meds and treatments for lows, and so he could easily "check" on her if she was not in the office that day. He took away her ability to drive. Then she got breast cancer and died at 65. I truly feel she had given up. The life changes were more than she could handle. She tried to fight the cancer, but her heart was just not in it. Dad took a lot of that fight away, with the overconcern his love created.
When I got married (both of my folks were alive) I told my husband that if he ever treated me the way my father did my mother, I would leave. He has respected that (for 37 years,) and dealt with hard situations. But his acceptance has been a great strength for me. He is one of the reasons I have had such success as a type one.
Just another allegory, but hope it relates for you. Good luck.
First of all be honest not only to your parents but to yourself.If you are going out or whatever - you still have to keep in mind what you have and that the intake of fats and fast acting sugars etc... need to be restricted.So I would advise you to substitute where possible for example go for the sugar free options ,and you can also get sugar free alcohol I think.It's understandable that parents with diabetic children would be worried but we are all not going to adapt unless you go out and experience and see how your body/glucose readings respond to whatever you are doing.Be safe though you do not want to be getting very low or high blood levels, you gotta play it smart.
Some "parties" you should NOT be attending regardless, for the very reason mom & dad are concerned about, and I'm not talking about your diabetes here. Now having said that in terms of just spending time with friends (who are not going to be dummy heads) that will require even more maturity from you, than you already possess, and some hard conversations.
"...Look mom, dad I'm a young woman, right? I do have friends, there will be get togethers, just being with them sometimes. A movie, hanging out at ABC's house... Unless you want me to be in a giant bubble, in which case we need to see somebody about your fears.
Now Id like to go to XYZ. You want to protect me, make sure I don't make too many dumb mistakes. I get that. But you guys are hurting me. Literally. I need to feel a little normal. That means, being with people my age, doing things with them.
Someday, I will move out, go to college and you cannot be in the room with me. I'd like to talk with you about this. So I can feel you're not always ONLY thinking of me as just a diabetic. I'm a teenager, becoming a young woman, NOT SOLELY just and only a diabetic...
Can we talk about this please?..."
You are a teenager AND a diabetic too, rough times, hard issues. Your friends have the identical issues, except for the blood sugar games. Worst case, with time you will figure out how to cope with your parents fears... and be able to live in spite of them.
but i do have a good control over my BG , and my doctor also appreciate that... but still...... i have to be prepared for a big NO when it comes to hangouts with my old school friends....
i am one and only child.... but i do have many cousin brothers and cousin sisters who live a very different lifestyle.... well i think i am a responsible girl... as i do not even have a boyfriend and my meter shows a controlled BG always( almost).. and thanx a lot............. :)
Your life is being micro-managed by your parents and you are allowing it to happen. Don't complain, move out! I am a parent and a type 1, and I can see it from both sides.
Eat, drink, and be happy! We're only diabetics, there are so many other issues out there that are much worse than this. Eat what you want, because you know how to control yourself and your BG's. People love to dwell on their shortcomings, if this is the worst you have to worry about in life then count your blessings!
I think that the contract sound like a good idea. Sit down and set some ground rules and see how it goes. Perhaps it could start with an hour or so and as they feel more comfortable they will let go. I know from a parent of a child that was diagnosed at 4 it is hard. We try to protect our children and then something like this happens and we realized we cant so we try to control what we can. It is a hard thing letting go and I have to work at it every day.(My daughter is going to Horseback riding camp next week. She is eight.) I will be leaving her for a few hours at camp next week and see how she does.
Think of it this way. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Try hard to understand where they are coming from and then and only then sit down with them and try to get them to understand where you are coming from. They are scared beleive me I know. Just keep trying and remember they love you and only want to do what is best.
Keep that in mind and just keep talking communication is KEY!!!
I agree. This is no time to talk about communication and understanding how your parents feel. For crying out loud, you're 21, were diagnosed nine to ten years ago and you're handling yourself well. Your parents should have stopped this nonsense years ago. Move out. Leave. You don't deserve this.
